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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Things To Do With $60
Instead of Buying a Kimkins Membership

Since the Kimkins folks are spamming the web with the above heading, I decided to give other options that won't damage your health and put you in close contact with a con artist and her henchpeople:

1. Join a free low-carb forum, like Active Low-Carber or Low Carb Friends, do your low-carbing safely and with cheerful support, and donate $60.00 to people who are starving in the third world, not out of choice (ie, doing the strict Kimkins starvation diet), but cause they just plain don't have enough food.

2. Try a different healthy eating plan by visiting sites online and finding one that suits your personality and tastes, and donate the $60.00 to your local community food bank.

3. Spend sixty dollars on healthful groceries and feed your body moderate portions.

4. Buy a cool anime bento box and have fun with smaller portions of vegetables and whole grains at lunchtime. Smaller portions of Japanese style food (ie, greens, veggies, fish, etc) equals losing weight. Heck, with sixty bucks, you can buy more than one anime bento and share the joy.

5. Buy 4 exercise DVDs and use them every day.

6. Buy a steamer for your kitchen, and steam those veggies!

7. Make sixty bucks worth of ham or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pass them out to homeless people. Seeing folks who are much, much worse off than you may give you a dose of perspective that'll keep you from obssessing so much about your weight that you'd easily fall prey to the alluring promises of the Kimkins Diet.


8. Buy a nice Bible or Torah or whatever holy book suits you, and read about behaving like a decent, respectful, upright, honest, non-scamming person who will seek moderation in all pleasures of the flesh--like eating--but excess in joy and benevolence and holiness. The sort of book that espouses fasting for spiritual reasons and to benefit the world, not for shallow reasons such as wanting to look hot at a high school reunion or in a red dress. Holiness, spirituality, moderation, unselfishness, divinely-inspired self-control: There's a diet plan Kimmer wouldn't recognize if John the Baptist whacked her on the wig with his staff.

9. Find another dieter who needs support and buy 60 bucks worth of encouraging cards, and mail one out every week to keep him or her motivated.

10. Buy 4 or 6 paperback books written by bona fide professionals on how to make healthful life changes or how to sanely and effectively strategize to get control of eating, and then read a chapter every morning and a chapter every evening.

11. Buy a new nifty scale and do what every every reasonable professional has recommended to overweight people since time began: Eat less. Move more.

12. Buy sixty dollars worth of lemons and paper cups, then make fresh lemonade with no sugar. Go to some park where kids and families are hot and sweaty from playing in the sun, and, cheerfully, pass out free beverages to the thirsty who'll accept your offering. Just lugging and dispensing all that will burn off a quarter pound of fat, and you'll feel better. Then go back to the park every day and walk.

13. Sponsor a poor child for a couple months. At thirty dollars a month, you can sponsor a poor child who would stare stunned at a Westerner who would voluntarily NOT EAT GOOD FOOD cause some con artist said there is no such thing as "starvation mode" and, gee, you can lose a pound a day.

14. Buy a pair of walking shoes. And use them.

15. Buy simple hand weights--the colored ones are fun!--and use them every other day.

16. Buy a quality exercise mat...and use it.

17. Buy a dress two sizes too small, and put it right in front of your closet so you can't miss it. Make it a red dress, like the one Kimmer ISN'T REALLY WEARING in her after picture, because it's not her, cause she never lost a bazillion pounds. Eat sensibly as you use the dress for motivation. When you fit into that red dress, go dancing with someone you love. And while this may seem to contradict a comment in #8, I will only say I am vast--really vast!--and I contain multitudes. Find the balance between feeling good about being a girl and wearing a nice dress and the obssession of vanity. So there.

18. Pay for a session with a dietitian and discuss how to lose weight sensibly.

19. Pay for an introductory session with a therapist to figure out why you binge eat or are attracted to disordered starvation dieting.

20. Buy $60 worth of music downloads of really high-powered tunes and just dance, dance, dance away in your house and in your yard and on the roof! Do this often.

21. Join a health club. That sixty bucks can pay for at least a month during which you can exercise EVERY DAY to build up muscle, burn off calories, and make fitness-minded friends who will happily support you on your weight loss journey. Maybe that month will turn into a year...but sixty bucks can get you started.

22. Buy rubber ducks for all the kids in your family. Make bathtime quacky fun. Plus, we love Ducky!

23. Buy original art online and support a "starving" artist. If you like wacky alien and zombie and monster art, try Monster by Mail. You can get TWO original art pieces for 60 bucks. Or just do a search for "original art" on eBay. You'll be surprised how affordable original, fun, non-caloric art can be. And if you want quality prints, then sixty buck easily gets you 2 letter-sized or 3 smaller archival quality prints form one of my fave artists, Sara Butcher. Just staring at Sara's art for a few minutes is sure to relax you enough to decide to have fruit instead of Doritos. Most days, anyway.

24. Upgrade your plus-sized work-out wear.

25. Sign-up for Weight Watchers online, or eDiets online, or The South Beach Diet online, or The Biggest Loser Club, or some other SANE subscription diet program that lets you eat a wide variety of wholesome foods in proper portions.

26. Go buy some yummy ChocoPerfection chocolate.

27. Go buy some yummy Vitalicious Vitamuffins in deep chocolate. Sixty bucks lets you buy several flavors--enough to share!

28. Go buy some fabulous Torreo coffee in Mocha Java or Mountain Blend or Yemen Mattari. (My faves.)

29. Go buy some lawn game gear, such as badminton, and work off some of your weekend caloric intake by swatting shuttlecocks around.

30. Buy a hula hoop and remember what it was like to be 8 years old and much slimmer. You were slimmer then cause you jumped rope, ran around bases, played hopscotch, pounded tether balls, climbed jungle gyms, and hula hooped. (Pictured left, the cool, top-of-the-line hulas from www.hoopgirl.com.)


There ya go. THIRTY things you can do with 60 bucks that will improve your--or somebody else's--life. None of the above items or activities or organizations will contribute to stuffing money into the scandalous pockets of a diet scammer named Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer of Kimkins.com.

If you have other fabulous things one can do with sixty bucks that promote your health or somebody else's health and does not promote quack diets and their shady promulgators, why not comment and let everyone know.

Happy and healthful spending!

14 comments:

Chubby Chick said...

I love this list! :)

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Thanks, CC. I had fun composing it.

The Princess

hanlie said...

Brilliant post! The ideas are great...

Nykky said...

I would never never ever join the kimkims diet...But you just convinced me to spend $60. lol.

iportion said...

what a lot of great ways to spend $60
While we have no steve and barry's
I think they sell starbury shoes for less than $20 that could be used as a walking shoe.

Zanitta said...

nice post sweethart :)

Teale said...

What a fantastic list of things!

Blossom said...

I love those little Bento boxes....where would one find those?

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Blossom, click on the link I have in the # relating to Bento. That's one place. Also, just do a google. Ebay sells them. Notice the sellers, cause some are US and many are Japan. Japan is more expensive to ship, but they have a bigger selection.

The main one I saw online with the best, cutest ones are from Japan, but that's not a problem if you don't mind shipping fees a bit higher.

Do check eBay.

The Princess

Scale Mistress said...

I absolutely LOVE this list. I can't decide which of these things I want to do first! Mind if I link to this list on my blog?

Once Upon A Dieter said...

ScaleMistress, I'd be delighted to have you link the entry. THANKS.

The Princess

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Dieting is not a starvation! It's healthy food and healthy way of living!

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