Main Blog Updated: I'm Too Old For Nasty...Really: A bit of a vent-rant..Let Love Rule, even amongst fatfighters...the fatfighting lessons in the holy days...and my Eve2Easter #13 Update

I'm Too Old For Nasty...Really: A bit of a vent-rant..Let Love Rule, even amongst fatfighters...the fatfighting lessons in the holy days...and my Eve2Easter #13 Update

A Decluttering Trip down Weigh-In Memory Lane

As part of my summer makeover , I want to slim down NOT just body-wise, but also neuroses-wise, spendthrift-wise, and clutter-wise. This afternoon, with my newfound energy, I continued some of the living room decluttering that began Friday. It's really, really bad at my place. We live a huge space, yes, but we fill it. Both hubby and I are packrats, though mine is definitely a more pathological thing. :P  So, at the bottom of one pile, I found calendars from 2007. Yeah. They'd been dumped there January 1 of 2008. Two and a half-years ago.

But it was a nice discovery. The Jan 1 weigh-in for 2007 was 289 lbs. That's 24 more pounds than I am now.

The ending weight for 2007 wasn't logged on 12/31. My last weigh-in logged for that year  was on December 22nd, and it was 274.8. So, in 2007, the year I started this blog in May at a weight of 289.0 (the very same weight in which I began the year), I ended 14+  pounds lighter than I started that year. Blogging helped.

I will add that blogging (no matter how inconsistently or how often I took extended weeks-long breaks) has kept me accountable to some degree. I have not gotten to 289 again. This never happened in my pre-blogging days. I always regained what I lost and then some. I'd lost up to 30+ pounds in the past and started regaining sometimes the very same year.

Blogging has given me some strength to hang on (last year during a more maintenance type of phase), and to lose, so that I'm a tick away from having lost 35 pounds from my highest weight in 2004, and am 25 pounds down from my starting-blog weight. Three years and one month after starting this blog, I have not gotten back up or beyond my high weight.

If you ever thought about starting a blog to help you lose weight, I recommend it. I'm not at goal, not after three years, but I am doing better than I have before, because there's always this little presence in my head: the community of fatfighters whom I follow and who follow me. We are a  support group. And when I drop out of sight cause life gets weird or I get depressed, I still want to come on and lurk and see how you guys are doing, even if I'm not doing so well. And eventually, wanting to hang with you again BRINGS ME BACK.

It's worth it. It is.

Do it.

And the more accountable you are--probably the better it will be for you. Put your numbers out there. Tell us when you fall. Tell us what helped you get back up. Help someone else back up. Put up a body shot. Be honest. Be angry. Be yourself.

So that even when you have a hard time losing, you can just HANG ON until you can lose (and win) again.

Glad I found those calendars. I feel better about today just seeing a bit of yesterday...

Happy Sunday (again)....

SUMMER SLIMMIN' Challenge begins....oh, 44 minutes ago. :D

Okay, here we go...

Two months of focusing on some or all of specific healthy-habit activities: food journaling, eating lots of produce, exercising regularly, hydrating purposefully, preparing healthful low-cal meals, weighing-in weekly, posting for accountability, and bloggy supporting of fellow challenge-partakers.

You can join in at any point withing the two months. Click the icon on my sidebar for this challenge (with the Korean manwha bathing beauty in beachy frolics).

Since it starts on a Sunday, weigh-ins will be Sundays starting 6/13.

Ready, Steady....Go!

(Anime--or L'Arc-en-ciel-- fans will appreciate that link.)

Nosce Te Ipsum, Gnothi Seauton, Know Thyself: Do Dietitians Help?

Teale had a post venting her frustration with a medical system that seems to ignore the needs of the obese (and brother, do I know it). It's like you don't count until an acute or chronic illness (that may very well be caused by the obesity) crops up. Prevention doesn't cut it for many.

(Not my HMO that I used to have. They were big on prevention, and I liked them, but hubby changed jobs and we don't have them anymore. They offered discounts for WW meetings and refunds if goal weight was reached, and they paid for dietitian visits.)

However, I gotta be as honest here as I was with Teale: It may not help anywhere near as much as we may dream/hope/wish/want/need.

In 1989, I had my first experience with a registered dietitian in private counseling practice. A very nice lady in the southern part of Miami-Dade county.That was back when very high carb, very low fat was the craze. I was put on one of those plans. She was surprised at how adept I was at guessing calories (she quizzed me on various foods and I knew them all dead on.) My problem wasn't knowing nutrition (I had taken a college course on it and other medical sciences, and I'd been reading diet books since I turned chubbo as a kid). My problem was ACTION, was DISCIPLINE, was APPETITE vs HUNGER, was EMOTIONAL, was STRESS. I also was on a lot of medications, and some of them made me hungry. Steroids.

Those issues still exist, plus I have age and a dead thyroid to throw in there.

I lost 29 pounds with that eating plan taped to my fridge.

I regained them all when my health collapsed and I had to quit working (immune issues). I then gained roughly 10-15 pounds per year for the next decades, losing occasionally on WW or with another dietitian, gaining all plus back.

My second dietitian came after my immune slapdown began to be controlled somewhat and I was functional again. Late nineties. She had/has a thriving practice in an affluent area of NE Miami-Dade country. I lost about 11 pounds. Regained that plus.

My third dietitian was a nice Hispanic gal in a not-at-all affluent area of North Miami. I went to her cause my blood sugar was rising and I was clearly heading into diabetes. I lost 8 pounds. Not much. But she told me about some supplements that helped with my cholesterol (I can't take statins due to reactions to it.)

I regained those, too.

On my own, I've lost 25, I've managed to not regain completely (my usual pattern). I do believe this blog is helping, but it's a daily struggle. Some days, I just wanna have surgery and be done with it--though I know that's a simplistic view. Surgery can be a great tool, but it's still an adjustment and a lot of work for people. Look at the celebrities who regain a lot of weight after gastric bypass, or the folks with lap-bands who still have to focus on healthy eating and exercise. One way or another, you still have to change.

This blog is my journal for change. And I thank you all who give me support.

Back to the subject: Dietitians give food and nutritional advice. Most of us who have been overweight a LONG time and have brain cells that are active are pretty well-educated about food. We know the different diets (low-fat, low-carb, vegan, ovo-lacto vegetarian, low-fiber, high-fiber, no gluten, combination, "clean eating") and we may well have tried some to all of them. Some of us read diet news religiously online or in magazines and journals. We keep searching for that key to unlock us.

We need to know what we lack so we know what we need and know what we don't.

I don't usually need information on food or an eating plan. I can get that online or in magazines or in books. As I peruse dieting blogs, I see some folks who need some good basic nutritional catching-up and others who are very savvy and learning FAST.

We who know our nutrition don't really need a dietitian, I believe.

Dietitians mostly examine and talk about how we eat, what we eat, when we eat, and what our medical issues need for us to eat and not eat or how often we need to eat. What supplements may help with this or that. How to cook, what oils are best, what snacks are good. A dietitian serves a purpose, and as long as you know what it is, you won't be let down if nothing radical happens, weight-wise.

Dietitians don't solve emotional eating problems. They don't solve self-esteem issues. They don't fix your wounded heart. They don't address your sin issues (ie, hedonism, selfishness, gluttony, sloth). They can't be there when the urge to binge hits. They can only help you within their area of expertise--what is good to eat for what condition you have or to optimize satiation or fat loss or steady blood glucose levels.

If you have a new medical condition and want expert advice on the foods best for that or the eating plan that may ameliorate it, that's fine.

But usually, what we need a dietitian can't give.

We need coaching. We need to keep up our motivation, our eyes on the goal. We need strategies and tools and insight that dietitians (in my experience) can't really give. We need someone to instill that sense of "I can." We need exhortation. We need strength.

We need a cheerleader/motivator/coach/miracle-worker. :)

Actually, we may need a therapist or counselor.

Or we may need a rabbi or pastor or priest.

Or we may need a very good, very firm diet buddy.

Or we may need a group hug.

I don't know what you need, but I do know that a dietitian can help me (and has helped me) tweak an eating plan, but they can't get me to stick to it. They can't help me to avoid a binge. They can't maintain my motivation, day in and day out.

I have to find something else to help me do that, and a lot of it I have to find INSIDE.

Ultimately, I have to figure out how to become my own dietitian, coach, trainer, motivator, cheerleader, minister. Not in a crazy, isolationist, uber-self-sufficient way. In a sane, strong sufficient way.

Still, it's good to have all those outside support persons while we find our inside support team. The team of "me".

Insurance can help me with a dietitian, a bariatric surgeon, a psychologist, an endocrinologist, with medication, with lab work.

It can't come and stock my fridge. It can't make me cook. It can't stop me from putting that chocolate cupcake in my mouth. It can't stop me from ordering a big old pizza. It can't stop me from hating myself some days. It can't help me feel worthless some days.

It can't help me figure me out in my deepest place.

This blog is part of me figuring me out, but most of the work happens over HERE, where the internet can't reach. The Delphic aphorisms: "Know thyself" and "Nothing in excess" are still so relevant, and especially for fatfighters.

Gnothi seauton. Nosce Te Ipsum. Know thyself.

Nothing in excess, except, I'd say, faith and hope and love.

How are you doing figuring out YOURSELF today?

BTW, if you have had a great or terrible experience with a dietitian, diet counselor etc, do let me know or gimme a link in a comment. I wanna read about it.

And I love the idea of Lyn's to get a ring that reminds us of our need and goals. I had almost purchased some artwork with "believe" and "faith." But a ring is portable. Love it.



Begin to learn about food:



Be your own therapist/coach:


Don't just say or think--but DO:



Get spiritual help:



Self-control, that fruit of the Spirit:

Tale Scale: Gluttony and Sloth = Regain

Okay, so here I am: I missed two challenge weigh-ins in November.

The reason for those absences was, as my previous post explains, that I was besotted by days of feasting in Valley Gorge.

But all vacations end, and not everything one does in the Gorge stays in the Gorge. In fact, what one does in the Gorge shows up on the scale.

~My last challenge weigh-in was 274.8

~My highest weight in the interim from then til now was 280.2.

~My current weigh-in (ie, this morning) is:

278.2

Obviously, I was not alone in Valley Gorge. I had lots of Overeating Ogres attending to my desires with their supersized green hands.

If there are lessons to learn--and there are--it's these: Ceasing to use the tools is disastrous. Ceasing to be vigilant is detrimental. Ceasing to keep one's eyes on the goals is demotivating. And it's very easy to feel like we deserve that slice of cheesecake or that extra serving of mashed potatoes or that second helping of X, Y, and Z.

Ultimately, I packed on 5.8 pounds (with some of it water, I know) in five days during Thanksgiving week. Then I struggled, slightly, not to over-over do after that, which let it come down about a pound. (Mostly water, I know.)

How easy to go up. How hard to come back down.

But this is a quest. This is an ADVENTURE, and as such there are battles major and minor and pleasures big and small and allies and enemies. And it doesn't always (or even often) go easily. Not many things of great value come easily.

Today, like every day, is another day to get it better, to get it MORE right, to get it moving in a good direction.

My desire to be on plan now outweighs my desire to linger in Valley Gorge.

It was good to visit my blogging pals today and find many successes. It made me sad to see others are struggling (from a little to a lot). Please drop by the blogs of those who are struggling and send a supportive comment. Please congratulate those who are flying down the scaleway.

It's nice to NOT be alone in the quest.

Now, here are some online bloggers who, like me, have been sidetracked or totally derailed. I covet prayers for myself and them:

Lady T
Chubby Chick
Teale
Kim Ayres
Lyn
Zanitta

For those struggling to recover, like me, or who want to avoid holiday pitfalls in the coming weeks, visit Grumpy Chair's excellent and useful post on mapping a path to weight loss.


Now, here are bloggers who inspire me today with their achievements, with how they are using their tools and staying on plan and moving forward:


Lady Rose
Melodee
CCC (and her cousin D)
Becky
Kellie
Amber
Wallow Girl
Poppy
Tiger Lilly
Lady Shanny, who is especially inspiring and motivating to me today. Thank you for your terrific posts.

Onward and DOWNWARD!

The Princess is...A BLOGGING STAR!

Well, that's not an egotistical decree from the royal throne here. That's Chubby Chick's assessment. And I am cheered to bits and honored to accept.

I get to pass along the honor--hey, paying it forward is alive and well in blogdom!--and so, herewith, her royal highness, The Princess Dieter, bestows the grand blessing and title of BLOGGING STAR to the following two bloggers:

Lady T, who is pretty, has cheekbones to die for, is sassy, has lost oodles of weight, and who has the good taste to like "Shackles" by Mary, Mary. Plus, hey, she made a frittata that made my mouth water. She's also very honest about her diet foibles and her life journey booboos and her addiction to sherbet. Honesty is a virtue much admired in the the blogdom of Once Upon a Diet. Lady T--who already has an aristocratic title, so I needn't endow her with one--is a Blogging Star of the Diet Domain. Everyone, bow and curtsey toward her direction, please.

Zanitta, who has a smile that lights up her bloggy world and who has bravely ventured forth into adventurous travels to lands far and full of sodium. She is not foiled by the inability to read labels. She forges on, cooking with courage and trying new foods with good cheer. I bet she can face down a platter of sea urchin without gagging. (urp) Not even laundry disasters can knock her off her mighty steed. Plus, she's lost more weight than me. (bow, bow) I hereby dub thee, Lady Z, fair maiden of Albion and dieting travel guide to the Far East.

And if you want to see some other Blogging Stars, just visit my sidebar for Diet Blog Royalty. There they are...some of my faves--Teale, Andrea, CCC, Lady Rose (hey, she's got a title and all!), Flabuless, Pasta Queen, Heather of Setting Her Free, Lisa of the Skinny Online, Lyn who's escaping obesity, and on and on and on. Click the links and meet them--if you haven't already.

We're all blogging stars, BABY. We're all PRINCESSES!

Well, except for the guys. Um. You're princes. :)

~~

Strategies for The Scale and The Spouse: What I Posted To Chubby Chick...

....just a few minutes ago at her terrific, honest, open JOURNEYING TO LOSE 200 blog. (I'll copy and paste at the bottom of this post. First, I must ramble.)

I figure we sometimes kick ourselves for not being perfect, and we can't. We can't be perfect. Ever. We're human. And we're learning.

Those of us losing A LOT of weight need time to adjust, to learn new habits, to figure out how to work around our triggers, to just learn self-control via good strategies in eating. It's hard work. And it's like learning a new vocation. Weight loss is a new job, nearly full-time in the beginning as we struggle to change old ways. Fitness is a new part-time job. Ain't that true, ladies and gents?

Eventually, the habits take over, and it only becomes a part-time job. But for us, it will never be totally breezy sailing. We have too much baggage. And we may have damage to our physiologies. So, even if losing/maintaining takes up 2 to 3 hours of thought and planning and action a day, it will always be a part-time job. Whether losing or maintaining, it's gonna be steps forward, steps back, more steps forward, steps back.

If the steps forward are MORE than the steps back--as Chuck Swindoll has taught--it's progress, and it's moving towards the goal. And the goal CAN BE REACHED, even if the stages look like two steps forward, one step back. You can reach the finish line that way.

I believe that, eventually, the steps forward far, far, far outweigh the backward ones. I do. I've seen the success stories. They tend to read that way.

So, whether it's scale anxiety or spouses who enable out of sheer love for us, we must deal with it. Whether it's triggers to binge, we must face them and strategize.

As I say in the comment: "It's war."

We need allies.

I'm your ally, Chubby Chick. And I need you to be mine.

Anyway, here's my post for those who, like us, need allies cause we have a long journey to "lose" those pounds and win our good health back, like me and Chubby Chick. Anything in brackets is my clarification that's not in the original comment post. I also corrected the unproofed comment I submitted, heh:

If that's what you need to do,{change to monthly weigh-ins} then do it. Some people have excessive scale anxiety, and weighing often is a hindrance. Others do better weighing in daily, cause it is a tool, just a marker, that makes them THINK about, "Okay, I ate too much salt, the water weight is shwong, today I'll eat less salt and more fruit and water."

We're all different.

I would suggest one thing: Write down a list of your trigger foods, things you tend to binge on, and tape it up somewhere obvious--the fridge, a bathroom mirror, and tell hubby that he must NEVER BUY YOU THOSE FOODS, EVEN IF YOU BEG.

I know that's tough, but husbands love us so much, they want to please us, even if it could kill us, sadly. If I tell my hubby, "I want chocolate cake," he'll get dressed, go to some restaurant or the store, and get me cake.

But I've told him: "Do not buy me junk. If I say I want junk, don't buy me junk. If I beg. Don't buy me junk. I will DIE, if I don't lose this weight. I will get diabetes. I'll have a premature stroke. If you buy me junk, you aid in killing me. So, I know you love me, love me enough NOT TO BUY ME PIG-OUT FOOD."

He's been great. So far. :) But love will break down will.

Be firm with him. Let him know he can't buy you a pizza or cake or ice cream or take you out for pig-outs. Just can't. It will tempt you too much.

It's war, baby. War. And we need our loved ones on OUR side, our allies in the battle, not sabotaging us out of love and a desire to fulfill our food whims.

Tell him, "When I"m hungry, you can get me X, Y, Z, cause these are healthful and good and, even if I eat too much, these things won't do damage."

Get him in on the plan.

And best of luck on those monthly weigh-ins. No matter what you weigh. you're a wonderful human being and easy to like and love. So...none of us here are juding your weigh-ins. Know that.

Scale Tale Tuesday:Look Great in 2008 Challenge Begins

So, Tuesday has been designated as the check-in, weigh-in day for the challenge. That means I'll be doing my weigh-in here on Tuesdays, just to make it easier.

Hey, I got that new scale in time for a new challenge. Cool.

Here's the deal from Tales from the Scales:

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE CHALLENGE - sign Mr. Linky, linking back to a post on your blog about your weight loss goal, aspirations, challenges, goals, dreams, frustrations. Your Story. We want to hear it.

Weight loss motivation was the reason I began this bloggy-journal four months ago.

My weight loss goal overall, my ideal, is to get to a fit 160. My goal for this challenge it to get under 250. Let's choose a number: 248. I haven't been that in this millenium, I think. And it rhymes with the theme:

248 in 2008

My challenges are emotional and physiological, not to mention chronological. I'm nearing fifty and perimenopausal, so my body isn't as effective, metabolically, as it was at 20 (when I was normal weight). I also have numerous physical ailments, including a shot thyroid and multiple severe allergies and chemical sensitivities, which slow me down, and lifelong severe asthma that I have to take multiple medications to control. Those medications have their own effects. My liver function is affected, and I have Metabolic Syndrome. I also suffer from periodic bouts of depression, which makes me prone to bingeing as a "soother."

But challenges and frustrations are there to be worked around and overcome, not to be used as excuses, so I refuse to let them KEEP me enslaved in fat. I may have to work harder than a healthy person, but it's still worth making the journey to wellness. This is the body I've got for the duration, and I have not taken the best care of it. That's not fate's fault. THAT IS MINE.

I refuses to believe I cannot do it. I refuse to accept past failures as the definining patterns.

I can do it.

We can do it.

Dream: To have control of several areas of my life--the body, the creative endeavors, the home environment (really cluttered as hubby and I both are packrat collectors), and relationships. Being unwell and heavy takes a toll on friendships by limiting what you can do.

Well, I've had enough of that shit. Pardon my Etruscan. Let's cheer each other on to better health and wider, bigger lives.

And all the people in the realm said: AMEN!

Lots of my issues and dreams and goals are on my sidebar and on this blog under various categories within assorted posts. Feel free to browse.

CHALLENGE STATS:

Beginning weigh-in: 280 pounds
Beginning waist: 47
Beginning hip: 58

This is post the Red Guest, so no bloat issues in weigh-in. (On my new scale, yay!)