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Watch The "Self-Hate" Talk AKA Hate the Fat but Love the Fatty (especially if that fatty is you)

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X-Weighted and Marichu

This is a repeat episode from 2007, but it does show what being a junk food/take-out junkie will do to your body. Both Anthony and Marichu (the Mrs.) were obese. They were also clearly feeling the damage to one's self-esteem that so often comes with being so large.

Marichu had to deal with clutter issues, and not just body clutter--house clutter. (I'm a hoarder, so I know of clutter .) And you could see that the pain of change was weighing on her as much as her fat. She was very weepy and her face was this harrowing mask of depression. Hard to watch.

She couldn't even celebrate her 32 pound loss at the mid-point weigh-in (at three months). Honey, 32 pounds in 3 months is a VERY good weight loss rate. Are you kidding me?

I wanted to slap her.

But I realize that she felt she was working so hard that she should have lost, I dunno, 50?

Not how it works. Fat comes on as easy as pie, goes off harder than heck.

It's such a shame she couldn't jump up and down with joy for that 32 lb loss. I got so tired of hearing, "Was it worth it?" Yeah. If you didn't gain, if you lost, it's worth it, cause not doing anything, girl, just makes you FATTER.

I should add her hubby was also not celebratory over losing 36 lbs in 3 months. What is with these people? Do they have SAD or something?

At the end, they both lost big, looked better, made inroads into making their lives more vital and enjoyable. Marichu in part did this by passing her second attempt at her lifeguard test (she failed 3 of 4 tests the first time). And Anthony did it by engaging in kickboxing and realizing he'd been so miserable for years, but that he could be happy again. (Marital issues came to the fore, as it's bound to when people start to assess and make changes to their lives.)

It was really great to see Marichu and Anthony both look so much more alive--their faces no longer tragic masks. And the kids now have so much of a better shot at NOT becoming as obese as their parents, as they learn to cook healthful meals and learn to enjoy fruits and veggies, instead of just consuming fast food fare.

Final tally: Marichu lost 66 lbs (originally weighed 245, ended up at 179) and a total of 26 inches. Anthony lost 63 pounds (original weighed 347) and a total of 22 inches. Man, she beat him. How 'bout that?

At the finale, Marichu was able to glow and smile and show elation. She looked great after the makeover (hair and clothes). The frumpy, uberwhiny, hangdog-faced depressed housewife was gone. The Girl was back!

Nice.

Now, that was 2007 the show first aired (and I don't know if that means the weight loss occurred in 2006 or 2007). But I would like to know how they're doing now. Have they lost more? Have they maintained? Have they regained?

One thing I hate about these weight loss programs--X-Weighted, You Are What You Eat, to a lesser extent The Biggest Loser--is that they don't do adequate follow-up. As a viewer, I'm interested in what happens when real life strikes.

After all, the ranch is not real life. It's...intervention. It's...treatment.

I'd like regular follow-ups of ALL the contestants to see the ones who succeeded AFTER the show ends. The ones who keep it off, they're the ones to learn from, frankly. But I think it's important to see the ones who do not succeed in maintaining, because we learn from that, too. I know the first TBL follow-up was too upbeat and felt like a whitewash. Subsquent ones reported online were less slanted.

While I don't know how this couple is continuing to do, if her facebook photo is anything to go by, Marichu is doing great and looking faboo. Gives a gal hope. :)

I think one of the good things of shows like this one is the clear depiction of how losing weight can impact so much of a person's life. Fat gets in the way. I know that fat-acceptance folks mean really well. But fat gets in the way of doing so much, of going places, of feeling able to stretch into new avenues. I know fat encapsulates me in more ways than the physical.

Marichu's story--and Anthony's--show how getting leaner and stronger opens doors to living.

~

UPDATE: The original Anthony/Marichu show re-aired today (I watched part while having a snack), and I thank Beth for giving the heads-up in the comments section about an update. If you are curious about what happened to this couple AFTER the show, go here and scroll down for the follow-up info.

On the Needfulness of Starting With Love and THE BIG SKINNY by Carol Lay

I've had a tough few days, breathing-wise, and as a consequence, eating wise. I've been wanting salt, and I have slacked off mywater, so I'm bloated as a result. (Time to guzzle water and coconut water.) Bleh.

But I decided not to get into that negative mindset that goes into attack mode: Why didn't you eat more potassium-rich foods, dummy? Why did you have to have that salty soup, idiot?

No, none of that.

Here's why:

Yes, I weighed myself this morning, and got bummed over the bloat-weight. BUT...

I was listening to the radio while getting ready to go to Pilates (my first class since over three weeks ago, when I stopped going due to my breathing issues.) I am still not completely well. I'm still congested. But instead of feeling like someone was sitting on my chest and strangling me, it feels like they got off my chest and just have their hands around my throat and pressing a bit. It's improvement, though hardly wonderful. But I figured if all I could do was stretch, then that's what we'd do. I felt all stiff from sitting/lying around for 3.5 weeks. So, I needed, NEEDED, to get some exercise/stretching.

So, back to my morning moment: I was listening to the radio show in the bathroom, one on a local Christian station, and a lady who got up to 350 pounds was talking about her personal journey. And she said that the thing that clicked, that got her to begin to shed the weight was realizing and accepting how very much she was loved. That even at 350 pounds, her husband loved her, and God loved her. Being fat or skinny has no effect on true love. It shouldn't.

Hearing that reminded me that even I don't have a right to hate myself. It's counterproductive.

I turned my thoughts toward the loving and positive. I asked God to help me through the day, and I prayed for a few other folks,too. I decided NOT to berate myself, but love myself TODAY. I refused to get on the self-insulting bandwagon.

Pilates went better than I expected. It was very hard--some positions didn't let me breathe, so we couldn't do some stuff. But my wonderful trainer is a pro at finding how to make stuff work, no matter the obstacle. I didn't get as tough as workout as when I'm well, and yet I got to the point of some muscles burning and trembling. And I got props for keeping my abdominals engaged. Tough when oxygen is at a premium and I had to use mouth-inbreathing (which is normally a no-no in Pilates).

Next, I come home and I put on Oprah. The show (just finished) was a follow-up to the Best Life week of shows. And Oprah, talking about her own weight loss journey of today, says, "It begins with love."

So that's two women with weight issues who both say this: START WITH LOVE.

Accept love--from God, from others, FROM YOURSELF. Give love, especially when you are hating yourself for whatever slip or bad choice. Don't ever hate on yourself (much less others). That doesn't help.

And love the body you have now, as Oprah said, because it's the body that God is blessing you in..now..today.

So, with that said, on to a book review:

Yesterday, I got myself a new "weight loss" book as a bit of motivation. I actually do find it motivating. It preempted a possible binge this pm (I was still insufficiently hydrated, and that thirst sensation was about to spur on some bad eating mojo.) But THE BIG SKINNY put a brake on it. (thank you, Carol Lay) It's a charming, amusing, practical, inspiring, friendly, useful book. It's done in comics strip/book style--all illustrated with writing in the panels--and it's just too cool. The author is honest about what worked for her, about the pitfalls, the saboteurs, exercise, whole foods, calorie counting, etc. She has a list of common foods and their calories, easy ways to eyeball measurements, shows the exercises she does, and displays in visual form how she fights off temptation.

I did a review for it for amazon just now.

If you like comic strips or comic books, I would really recommend this. Such fun. And so smartly done.

You know what, I recommend it even if you never have read a comic book in your life. Honestly.

Now, please be kind to yourself today. Be grateful for your body, yes that one. No matter how imperfect. It's the one in and through which you are blessed in so many ways. That's the body that lets you hug loved ones, the one that carried your kids (if you have 'em), the one that lets you swim or dance or make love or see the sky or smell the ocean or sing a song or savor a delicious cup of coffee. Your body is amazing, even if it's fat and mushy. Even if, like mine, it's medically defective. Yes, I can still do so much. And it can become BETTER, every day.

Love yourself, and go do something happy and healthful or that miracle-body of yours.

Oh, Lawdy! Pilates Farting!

Yes, you read that subject heading right.

During my second private training session today, during a particularly brutal abdominal exercise, I tooted.

Sorry. Embarrassing.

Fortunately, NOT stinky. I'd had organic scrambled eggs on organic pita with home-made fresh organic watermelon juice for breakfast, low-fat cream of mushroom soup (from Shape Lovers) with extra organic crimini mushrooms and a pear and a low-fat, sugar free pudding-y dessert for lunch. I didn't eat for 3 hours before class (afraid of reflux, frankly, during those flat on my back moves).

I didn't think about the other exit. Ahem.

Out of curiosity, I googled "Pilates fart" and there were lots of hits. Even YouTube.com has an entry. One instructor has some interesting posts on how to avoid passing gas by 1. avoiding specific foods prior to class and 2. concentrating on doing the abdominal moves precisely, correctly. Trust me. Gonna read those several times. :)

But the one that really cracked me up was this practitioner's report of a work-out post-burrito munching. It's hilarious.

Yes, I am definitely not alone in these embarrassing moments.

My thanks to Liza (my trainer) for being so reassuring about it, so that my social discomfort was blessedly brief.

Again, the session was tough, and one position was simply impossible in the normal manner due to my big belly, so it was modified (instead of pulling legs up straight, I parted my knees and brought them up more spread apart). The modification helped immensely.

It's also evident my balance sucks. I expect that to improve.

I did have that awkward feeling when I first walked in and everyone was slim and the client ahead of me training with Liza was all-out stunningly gorgeous. (Professional model, I was told when I mentioned how lovely she was.) Willowy, a perfect face with prominent cheekbones. I felt like a mangy, fat, old sow.

I know, that's really negative. but I did.

Still, my trainer kept me going and she was great and I paid in advance for 11 more sessions, three times a week.