I HAVE MOVED! My main blog as of Sept of 2010 is TWO YEARS TO HAPPY WEIGHT AFTER. Visit me there. My post links in the updates below will link up to the new blog. THANKS for reading!

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

So, Why Can't We Do This Here? And What Else Can We Do To Change the Obesity Trend?

French children don't get fat. In 2004, when an uptick in childhood obesity was reported there, the government responded swiftly - children between the ages of five and 12 were weighed at school and reports containing their weights and body mass indexes were sent to their parents, along with instructions explaining how to interpret the numbers. Parents then attended meetings with local physicians and dieticians about ways to prevent or reverse the trend with diet and exercise, and children were taught about portion control and good nutrition. Vending machines selling soda and snacks were banned from school campuses and exercise was encouraged. The Plan was simple, clear and effective-the obesity rate declined before stabilizing in 2007.

from "Why the Jenny Craig Diet Will Fail in France"

Since health plans benefit from people losing weight and ditching their diabetes, hypertension, hyperlipidemia drugs, you'd think that this maybe should be part of a requirement for health insurance--mandated weigh-ins with physicians or dietitians and regular visits with dietitians and/or cognitive therapists, not just voluntary. How about tax credits for gym memberships or personal training, but only applicable with validated proof of use X times a week of gym classes, sessions, or equipment notarized and attached to tax forms. Maybe streamline the process by which persons who are morbidly obese can obtain surgical intervention, should they desire it, instead of making it an obstacle course for some. Maybe taxing junk food up the wahoo to subsidize lower prices for fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, wholesome oils, and lean proteins? Make whole grain bread cheaper by taxing white junk bread and rolls an extra fifty cents per pack? Limiting the use of food stamps to only highly-nutritive  food items (nothing with white sugar, hydrogenated fats, excess processing with sodium, high fructose corn syrup).

I really like the idea of banning all junk food in vending machines from all government supported schools from daycare on up. I don't know if bans would fly at private schools, but there's no reason the government should be providing readily available crap for its citizenry when it's going to be the taxpayers getting the bill for obesity-related diseases and complications. If it's bad for people to smoke, and we tax the hell outta cigarettes, well, it's bad for folks to suck up snack cakes regularly or slurp sugary sodas regularly, and we should prohibitively tax that, too,and shift the revenue to activities and subsidies that encourage good eating and better health habits.

If we've got an epidemic of overeating, bad-eating, and lack of exercise, then what ideas can we come up with to make us all more aware and accountable and, as a nation, more active and better supported and, eventually, less obese from infancy on up...?

What are your ideas?

And again, I Step on the Scale After a Week of Delivery Meals, some Raw Food meals, and some cheating snacks...

Better news this time: 3 lbs down and back firmly in the 260's in last two weigh-ins this week. It was really a shock to have seen that higher number last week.

So, the ShapeLovers meals, combined with some raw food meals--and I won't deny it, some extra snacks, some not diet-friendly (Godiva chocolate, Holey Donuts)--helped. The Shapelovers meals have been generally very tasty, a few coming close to "mom's old cooking" flavors (ie, Cuban food). The salisbury steak, though, was hideous beyond words. I threw both mine and my hubby's serving away. Horrible. But the chicken fricasse and the tortellini in a creamy sage were great, as was the very low calorie Aloha Coconut dessert (like a coconut flan with some pineapple bits, sugar free and  yumsy). It's nice not cooking and having some low-cal, low-fat, low-salt meals handy (soup, entree, side, dessert). If you sign up for it, just totally skip the turkey meatballs and salisbury steak. gross....

Raw foods from Veggiemunn: The corn chowder was really, really good. I may even like it better than my previous "raw corn soup" fave from them, the corn and leek. The pear and watercress was too fibrous for my taste, but the flavor itself was quite nice. The unstir fry had good flavor, but I got crazy gas from all that raw cabbage. :P  The zucchini pasta alfredo was okay. Something about the zucchini has been less than stellar the last two weeks (ie, texture wise, not tastewise. I like it really firm to sub for pasta).

I'm considering another order from Glaser Organics--I love their nut butters, spinach pesto, hummus, and fresh coconut water. Their raw pies are yum, too, but I'm not ordering any, preferring to rely on fresh fruit.

I did order a lot of citrus from Cushman's, so I can have a nice orange or ruby red grapefruit with breakfast. The tangerines locally have been lovely and are amazing juiced.

I have had pizza cravings, but haven't ordered any. I think I'm gonna get me some whole grain pita and just make one at home with part-skim mozza and marinara and some mushrooms.

I really don't feel like cooking or food shopping (hence the healthier delivery options), but I need to get back making some meals. I can only really successfully lose when I plan and control my own meals and snacks according to my own eating desires (not some pre-made menu's).

Hope everyone out there is happy and getting healthier and finding ways to meet health goals. I'm still fumbling, but at least the scale is moving properly downwards, making up still for eating booboos that had me regaining...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

OMIGOSH! I stepped on the scale!

Lack of diligence, junk food, and salt benders do damage. Well, duh.


I'm on the first rung of the "decade" I had exited with such joy.

I intend to re-exit soon. I scared myself.

Okay, well, that sucks.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bad sleep, salt bender, and more depressing research on how women's bodies hold onto fat....

Well, I've been struggling to stay on a normal schedule, and my nite owl body is resisting like mad. I was so happy when I was up early and to bed early, but that only lasted like 2.5 weeks and then I started having sleep issues as my body wants to be a vampire again.

When I don't sleep well, I am hungrier and more prone to want those fast food baddies. Don't know why, but it's true. If I sleep well and deeply and at least 8 to 9 hours, I do better with my eating and exercising. When I sleep poorly, I crave salt and I crave sugar and I can barely get through a training session. Yesterday's Pilates class was a struggle punctuated by cramps and having to stop and start several times, whereas the ones when I was getting up earlier were hard, but doable. And I've been practically sucking on the salt shaker.


So, today, I'm gonna go get some veggie and fruit smoothies and try to mitigate some of the damage from all the sodium. I feel bloated and I have dark circles under my eyes. Not nice.

Of course, to add insult to bloaty injury, I read this: Weighing the Evidence on Exercise.  This is a really interesting article, and I recommend any of you who are struggling with diet AND exercise to read it. It's not the happiest news for us ladies, though, because, as we already knew, when it comes to weight loss, biology favors the gents and royally screws us. The article highlights how, especially in women, exercise increases ghrelin which increases appetite. (I can attest to this. I'm always FAMISHED after a hard workout and hit Starbucks for a sugarfree latte posthaste.)

But it's not all grim news in the article, though it is still grim for those of use with BMIs higher than 25 (and if you're obese, yeah, your BMI is way over 25). (see page 2 of article).

If you plan to lose the weight and keep it off, you (and I) better learn to either love to exercise A LOT or just buck up and do the exercise, love it or hate it. Why? Cause exercise isn't just about calories out. It seems to do something to your very physiology:

Scientists are “not really sure yet” just how and why exercise is so important in maintaining weight loss in people, Braun says. But in animal experiments, exercise seems to remodel the metabolic pathways that determine how the body stores and utilizes food. For a study published last summer, scientists at the University of Colorado at Denver fattened a group of male rats. The animals already had an inbred propensity to gain weight and, thanks to a high-fat diet laid out for them, they fulfilled that genetic destiny. After 16 weeks of eating as much as they wanted and lolling around in their cages, all were rotund. The scientists then switched them to a calorie-controlled, low-fat diet. The animals shed weight, dropping an average of about 14 percent of their corpulence.
Afterward the animals were put on a weight-maintenance diet. At the same time, half of them were required to run on a treadmill for about 30 minutes most days. The other half remained sedentary. For eight weeks, the rats were kept at their lower weights in order to establish a new base-line weight.
Then the fun began. For the final eight weeks of the experiment, the rats were allowed to relapse, to eat as much food as they wanted. The rats that had not been running on the treadmill fell upon the food eagerly. Most regained the weight they lost and then some.
But the exercising rats metabolized calories differently. They tended to burn fat immediately after their meals, while the sedentary rats’ bodies preferentially burned carbohydrates and sent the fat off to be stored in fat cells. The running rats’ bodies, meanwhile, also produced signals suggesting that they were satiated and didn’t need more kibble. Although the treadmill exercisers regained some weight, their relapses were not as extreme. Exercise “re-established the homeostatic steady state between intake and expenditure to defend a lower body weight,” the study authors concluded. Running had remade the rats’ bodies so that they ate less.

As someone whose fat is primarily that dangerous abdominal adiposity, this is actually something that offers a bit of comfort. I may really hate aerobic exercising (though I enjoy Pilates), but the fact that it might have an effect on my worst fat issue--that deadly abdominal fat--is something of a spur.

I'm gonna go check Netflix and On Demand for doable aerobic exercise for big me. I hate to sweat, but I hate this huge, deadly belly more.

It's not good news. Good news would be, "NewsFlash: We've found the magic bullet and you can all be trim with one daily pill with no bad side effects that also happens to make you look younger." :D

Until then--we know, we know--eat wholesome food and move, move, move.

So, let me finish watching THE DOCTORS (they have the Eat This, Not That dude on today, and he's kinda cool), finish my second cup of java, and then do a shopping list for debloating and defatting this week.

Later...from the bloated Princess...

ETA: Well, I found this on sleep and weight loss in a Washington Post article:

What do we know? Scientists have an idea for how lack of sleep might contribute to obesity. In two studies, lack of sleep was found to influence two hormones that help control hunger. Leptin, made by fat tissue, tells your brain when it's time to stop eating, while grhelin, which is made in the stomach, signals that you ought to eat more. Both studies -- one involving 11 subjects, the other more than a thousand -- found that restricted sleep led to suppression of leptin and increased grhelin activity, two states that could make you want to eat more.
At least one doctor is willing to take the leap and recommend that people who want to lose weight should get a handle on their sleep. Michael Aziz, author of "The Perfect 10 Diet" (Sourcebooks, 2010), writes, "Getting enough sleep is the cheapest and simplest advice I can give for losing weight."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Bloggy Inspiration for Breakfast and Action

Two bloggers inspired me today. One got me to make a yumsy breakfast rather than just settling for the easier (lazier) cheese toast, coffee and fruit. Another has me committed to stepping out the door.

First: Breakfast.  I've been in a bit of a breakfast rut this week, just slapping cheese or ham and cheese between whole wheat bread with coffee and fruit and water. But I saw Poor Girl Eats Well recent blog on Mushroom Fajita omelette  and thought: I WANT THAT NOW! :)

I didn't have all the ingredients on hand her recipe calls for, in fact, I've been in such a funk I've been out of eggs for a week and didn't bother to go shopping for some, but I found a carton of egg whites set to expire in ten days at the back of the fridge. Must have been there a couple months. I had 2% Kraft singles handy. I had portabella mushrooms I picked up at the lil ratty local farmer's market on the way back from Pilates Monday (the market is sad, but it's only one block away from the studio, and I was craving berries). I had half of one sweet onion and half a red pepper left from that Monday market drop-by. And a tomato. That would do nicely.

I sauteed the veggies in a couple teaspoons of EVOO in one small pan, coated another in PAM organic spray (olive oil version) and used that for the egg whites.

Squeezed some of the almost overripe tangerines I had left for fresh juice. Put two slices of whole wheat bread in the toaster oven. Made my fabulous Ethiopian gourmet coffee (freshly ground beans, filtered water).

A feast.  Got four and a half fruits and veggies and a very filling meal for just over 500 calories. Were I in full, gung-ho diet mode, I'd have left out one slice of toast and had less juice. A lot of calories for one meal, some would say, but I find if I skip breakfast or eat a very small one, I tend to pig out crazy at lunch or binge at dinner. I always wake up ravenous. The only one in my family to do so. Hm.

The other inspiring blogger today was Lyn. I could have written about that detachment. About being numb eating and living in the head. I had been doing better, then got all funked down and began doing that again. Here's something she said in today's post:

I feel so very alive now. I see things that need to be done and I embrace the challenge instead of dreading the work. I see the sunshine outside and I want to be out there *in* it... not burying my face in a Big Mac Meal or a computer screen for hours on end. I feel like I have stepped back into the real world. I feel like I have awakened from a decade of detached slumber. I am awake, alive, and present.

After reading that, I decided to have my second cup of coffee, post to the blog, and get dressed and GO OUTSIDE somewhere. At this point, I don't care where. Whole foods to stock up on good stuff. A park. The bookstore to browse and watch people. To make a doctor's appointment. To buy shoes. Don't care. Just get up, shower, get prettied up, put on non-lounging clothes, and live outside the head for a while.

Thanks Poor Girl and Lyn.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Nutrition Tracker Guiding Supplementation--and where I'm lagging, again--and Pilates during Allergy Season; Kirstie Annoys Me

So, I'm tracking my nutrition. So far, today I'm on target for calories for breakfast, snack, and lunch--1250, which leaves me 600 to 750 for dinner (I'm aiming at 2000 calories or fewer).

I'm high for salt (the cold cuts in my lunch sammie) and way low for water (but I'm sitting here with a tall 24 ounce glass of filtered water). I was also low on zinc and magnesium and vitamin D, but I took supplements with lunch as soon as I noticed that on my Sparkpeople nutrition breakdown. (I am always low on zinc and some others, so I just got me supplements and work with that. The Ionic Zinc in liquid form is dreadful. I gotta put it in a very strong juice to get it down, something like Acai-berry blend or Goji. Horrible stuff. My vitamin D is in gummy form, yum.)

Yes, I'm working on being committed and focused. :)

Pilates was tough, but good. I have a different trainer--she's great, though-- while my regular one is on snowboarding vacation. :)  In the midst of this horrific allergy season, some positions are harder due to just having more congestion. I do load up the meds before going--Singulair, Vick's nasal inhaler, Advair, Albuterol inhaler, green tea and coffee, which do help open airways, ya know. I take my  Zyrtec before bed, so that it keeps me clear for sleep and so the appetite-increasing effects bother me less.

I wish I could afford 4x a week personal training, cause I always feel that wonderful sense of achievement after I get through a hard, hard workout. And I never work that hard on my own. I just am not good at self-pushing when it comes to exercise.

On the exercise front, I caught an episode and a half of Kirstie Alley's new reality show. And she is not making me like her. I liked her in Cheers and Veronica's Closet and in a couple films. I think she's funny. I thought she was an amusing spokeswoman in those commercials for Jenny Craig a few years back. But on her show, she really comes across as...immature. Isn't this woman older than me? I'm not feeling it. And I"m not feeling encouraged by her journey, so I doubt I'll tune in again. Never know.

And I did visit that Organic Liaison site she plugs on her show, and I was turned off. A bunch of supplements that are likely overpriced (didn't bother to look that far into it). Anyone using that stuff?

And what happened to Carnie's show? Did they cancel it? I caught two episode and part of a third, and it started to feel very...staged. Fakey. So I tuned out.
It would be lovely to have a reality "Celebrity's weight loss journey" show that actually inspires me.

Forever To Go: Jack Sh*T Exposed

This was funny, but also encouraging. Jack's got a great sense of humor. Check out THIS POST to see him bare his manly form to the webby world. I hope he doesn't mind I snitched one of his images for this. :D

Sunday, April 11, 2010

How Committed Am I...Are You?

The clock in my soul  is ticking furiously, inexorably...and it sounds like it's saying. HURRY, HURRY. Are you gonna commit?

Am I committed enough to my goals? My weight goal in particular, I'm asked, which, if I don't meet will shorten my life and impede my other goals...

I can't help but be honest. Not much. Some. Some, that's all. I am watchful for parts of the day, but not all. I focus on other things easily. I don't keep up the strategies.

Some. A bit.

Some days, utterly minimally.

It's bothersome to me to be that uncommitted. It's a lack of a certain virtue I desire: perseverance. 

Perseverance is such a lovely word, such a beautiful character attribute. But I really lack it. In more areas than just diet. It goes hand in hand with its virtuous sibling: commitment.

I have several goals that have sat curbside while I dither, while I sink into blues, rise up a bit, sink down, while I fritter, while I dream, while I don't fully commit, while I don't work hourly, by the minute, on persevering in that commitment.. Dreaming is of no use if the action necessary to realize the dream is missing.

I'm missing in ACTION, so literally it's not at all funny. It's tragic.

My "I'm 50" midlife crisis has me really having alternating attacks of regret, nostalgia, anxiety, futurefear, wishing, more nostalgia, frenzied pep talks, depressed naps, more anxiety, self-berating, etc. I'm ridiculous, frankly. It's embarrassing to be so out of it and unfocused and unproductive and NOT MEET GOALS. 


So, why is this question of commitment suddenly on my mind. I got a mail message from  Sparkpeople with it's "Healthy Reflections." Here's it is in case it helps you, makes you think:

Are You Giving Your Goals Your Best Effort?

Your dreams deserve better than a half-hearted effort. Meet your goals with a weak handshake and they'll soon be waving you goodbye. Since you probably don't want to look back on a life full of "almost made it" memories, it's time for total commitment. Leave it all on the field, don't hold anything back. Is there anything more satisfying than pouring out your entire being, straddling the cliff, reaching your total limit, then looking up and realizing that oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-I-really-did-it? And is there anything more tragic than failing and realizing you could have done more? If you feel "tuned out" of your current life, that's okay. Make your first goal to build a life that you can get "in"-to. Then don't look back. Make every day count and live purposefully, live energetically, live completely.

I don't have enough time left to keep wasting it, ya know. I don't wanna die FAT.

I. Do. Not. Want. To. Die. FAT!

I do not want to die having unrealized four other dreams of mine besides the weight thing.

And the clock keeps ticking....

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Yummy looking Creamy Chicken Enchilada recipe, 250 cals per serving

I love enchiladas. Cheese (which I've made at home) and chicken being my two faves.  I was emailed a nifty-looking recipe for Creamy Chicken Enchiladas that I wanna try!

Here it is. If you make it, let me know how it turned out.

Mmmm. Mexican food.

Friday, April 9, 2010

School Lunches; Jamie Oliver and Chicken Nuggets; Weight Loss Shows; Shapelovers again, and Strawberries galore; Five Fruit Frenzy at Jamba Juice

Easter Sunday I was over at my big bro's home. He has two grandkids and I got a look at the elementary school lunch menu. It was taped to the fridge and smack in front of my face as I stored the extra chicken satay.

What crap we feed our kids. How come taxpayer dollars go to feed kids fattening, unhealthful crap? Chicken nuggets. Meat pizza (I'm guessing NOT on a whole grain crust or with low-fat cheese). Hot dogs (omigod). Corn Dogs (doubleomigod).

A quick google got this article with this summary of research findings regarding obesity and these crap school lunches:

Research presented this past weekend at a meeting of the Annual College of Cardiology determined that kids who eat lunches served by their schools are almost 60 percent more likely to be overweight or obese when compared to children who bring their lunch from home. The survey of nearly 1,300 Michigan-based sixth graders, taken over three years, also found that school lunch eaters ate more fat-intensive meats and sugar, as well as fewer vegetables than their counterparts—which contributed to them showing elevated levels of bad cholesterol in their bloodstreams.

If I were Empress of the US, school lunches would be the epitome of healthful, balanced eating to give kids a great start and energy to get through their studies. Whole grains. Nothing fried. No caffeine. Nothing with sugar (except for rare treats on a holiday times or other special occasions). No sugar-laden chocolate milk, for sure. No sodas--diet or otherwise. No junk chips (unless baked and low-salt and ideally made from something that has fiber). Fruit cups would have no added sugar. Certainly no hot dogs would be featured. Egads.

I know, they'll say this: kids won't eat healthful stuff.

Guess what? Tough patooties. Give parents before school starts an idea of a menu and what items are included. "If your child has not been trained at home to eat these foods, then please pack as suitable brown bag or bento or boxed lunch for them each day."

I figure it's up to parents to train kids to eat fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. If they don't, then make lunch. I, as a taxpayer, don't wanna finance the ticking time bomb that is obesity and diabetes. I am a product of this junk food lunch system training kids to want and like more and more crap. (I remember grilled cheese sandwiches DRiPPING with margarine, fatty meat pizzas, oily fried chicken, sloppy joes on white buns, oily fries, huge-sized cookies.) Funny, cause at home we got rice, beans, salad with avocado and olive oil, and things that were far less damaging than what schools gave.

So, today, I caught Jamie Oliver on The Doctors (where I got a look at a liver and a heart that probably look like mine, given I'm obese. Ick.) He was showing kids how gross chicken nuggets can be made. It was vile. But when he fried them up and asked which of the kids would eat them, all of them raised their hands. Even after seeing the globs of fat and goo that went into the nuggets, they'd eat 'em. Hah. Jamie was shocked.

They also showed the crazy amounts of salt and sugar in kid's lunch meals. One could weep.

I really am amazed parents tolerate those menus. Corn dogs. CORN DOGS???


I caught a couple episodes of LOST IT! on Discovery Health channel. I wanted to see if the stories could up my mojo factor. It's always nice to see folks get it off and feel happier and healthier. One lady did WW. One did Jenny Craig. One guy did hypnosis tapes, which actually looked maybe interesting.

I'm not feeling all that motivated, but I did feel a tad more hopeful watching. :)


Gotta admit that the Shapelover meals this week have been very good. Their food is tastier than when I first tried them more than a year ago (for a brief while). Very tasty. Yesterday, I had the Normandy Beef consomme, and while it wasn't so much consommeish (it had thick veggies in there), it was really delicious and hearty.

Hubby really liked his pork fricasse with carrots that I served him with the mashed new potatoes that came with my blue cheese beef dish. Today, for lunch, I had a pesto beef lasagna for lunch that was excellent, if a tad tad tad salty (prolly the cheese sprinkled on top was to blame for that). It came with a tomato basil onion salad that had a lovely balsamic/basil flavor. The chocolate berry dessert was so good for 70 calories. Mmm.

Been eating a lot of strawberries, too. The harvest right now is huge from Central Florida, so prices are low and berries are sweet. :D  I hope you check for them when you go shopping this week. Good for ya!


Hubby went to get some home repair stuff, and I asked him to pick me up some carrot juice and the new Five Fruit Frenzy smoothie that Jamba Juice has been highlighting as having "five servings of fruit in a 16 oz serving." I asked for the smaller size (in case I'm not wild about it, anyway). It's got strawberries, blueberries, banana, mango, peaches--ye five fruits there--mixed in peach juice, berry juice with ice.  I'm a sucker for mango, so I hope this is numsy.

If ya wanna try it, get a dollar off with a printable coupon until 4/10.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Alive, but not kicking so much...but WANTING to kick. :)

It's been more than two months since I checked in. Whoa. Okay, so...

I've been a slug. Haven't done much of anything I should be doing. Won't go into the whys and wherefores, other than to say I'm having a bit of a midlife event. Hitting the big FIVE OH was more trying than I expected. Even though my birthday celebration and the weeks before and after had some good times (great Valentine's Day, happy party, days off enjoyed with hubby), I still have felt the burden of that number and all it entails in the negative. Yes, I'm not seeing the half-full cup. I'm seeing a cup dribbling out water through cracks caused by time...

Urp. Enough.

So, I got on the scale a few days ago and I had sliipped back into the 270s (271.4). I know a chunk was bloat, so I reweighed today and I was 268.8. But that's still a regain from where I was holding in the lower part of the 260's.

I'm not feeling it. I hate that it takes so much to just get motivated to POST something.

I am having some healthful meals and some not so, but I am making an effort to have more calorie-conscious ones. Here's an example:

This was lunch some days ago (after weighing in high and scaring myself). Clockwise from upper left glass: Coconut water (chilled) to debloat. Mandarin orange cream (a sort of  cross between rice pudding and vanilla yogurt with some orange puree on top, sugar-free and low-cal. Pumpkin spice soup (very low cal). On plate: peas and carrots, basil mashed potatoes, chicken breast in a low-cal creamy lemon sauce (I added more lemon juice). And finally, raspberries and cantaloupe (fresh). All told, it was like 600 calories, little fat, lots of potassium, vitamins, minerals, and some decent fiber. Plus treats for my sweet-tooth.

The meal came from Shapelovers (except the fruit and coconut water). Yesterday, I had their three-cheese spinach lasagna. Today I had a chunky split pea soup (double portion) that came with today's entree (chicken and rice, california medley veggies, mamey flan--which is so nice). Tomorrow, it's Beef Tenderloin in blue cheese sauce. You can see the weekly menu (this week, click to see next week) here.

I notice that tomorrow's dessert is 68 calories. Hm.

I haven't stuck perfectly to their program (no surprise), but it has helped to start putting a curb on the out-of-control chocolate and fast-food fest that got me back in the 270's temporarily. They deliver at 10:30 in the AM roughly, so it forces me to get up early (which I've wanted to do to get more sunlight to improve my mood issues, maybe, cause being on "vampire time" was NOT helping. I never saw the sun hardly, except on my Pilates session days.)

It's amazing to think that come June 30, I will have faithfully doing my Pilates for TWO YEARS. Shoot. That's worth a party. :)

I intend to start Sparking again. I don't feel like it, but I NEED to.

I hate demotivated me. I really do.

Anyway, I also ordered half a dozen electronica/dance/energetic music cds to try and get me up and going. I'm getting desperate to lose this funk. If you're curious what I got, I'll post again about the music. Let me know what music gets you going. Or what else gets you going. Cause I just wanna nap all da time.