I HAVE MOVED! My main blog as of Sept of 2010 is TWO YEARS TO HAPPY WEIGHT AFTER. Visit me there. My post links in the updates below will link up to the new blog. THANKS for reading!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Where'd my mojo go?

Really, it's misplaced. Or it went to the beach without me. I am just so apathetic, that it worries me.

It's not that I've gone back to horrible eating. I am actually still the weight I've been for months (272, give or take a pound or two if I eat salty foods). To maintain this enormous weight takes some vigilance, believe it or not. No vigilance means I go back to 300 lbs. So, while I'm not actively in weight loss mode, I am conscious enough to be in "watch it or gain" mode.

I just am not feeling any diet motivation. Zip. I buy magazines to get me going--and nothing happens. They sit there unread (yes, that's you HEALTH and CLEAN EATING and SELF and ALLURE and FITNESS).

I did have a bad stretch of allergies/asthma this month, which didn't help. Not breathing well puts one into solid "I'm just gonna stay as still as I can and try not to use more oxygen than necessary, while using all my energy to suck in air."

But the asthma is okay today, and the allergies aren't killing me, and I still just wanna watch movies and nap.

I really yearn to feel that snap of purpose, that focus on goals, but I'm sort of generally purposeless lately (lately meaning, oh, most of this year).

If I figure out how to snap out of this ubermellow blandness, I'll let you know.

If you have a wonderful tip that doesn't involve some complicated system, let me know.

I really want to see some weight loss by Christmas, but making whoopie is about all that I've got motivation for. I tend to jump my hubby every chance I get (yes, Pilates unblocked my CHI like nobody's business and I've been a sex fiend) and take naps (which seem to follow directly from the previous activity). Making whoopie is well-motivated, but counting calories and produce shopping is not.

Hubby's happy, and I'm too mellow. Snarf.

Ya know, I had a chance to go to the beach (see pic of Bill Baggs State Park beach with lighthouse on Key Biscayne, Florida, offshore from Miami) with the family, my fave local beach even, and I just spazzed. It could be summer allergies getting to me, as they can contribute to that fatigue that equates into apathy, ya know?

Or is it the still-persistent heat? It's really icky here in Miami, even though fall is here, and going outside is NOT tempting unless it's way after sundown (or before sunrise). Even at night, it's humid and blah.

I can only hope that the bit of relief we get starting some time in October will get my mojo rising. I will restart my organic produce co-op once rainy season is mostly over, so that will help.

Come, winter!

Rise, mojo, rise!