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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Where'd my mojo go?

Really, it's misplaced. Or it went to the beach without me. I am just so apathetic, that it worries me.

It's not that I've gone back to horrible eating. I am actually still the weight I've been for months (272, give or take a pound or two if I eat salty foods). To maintain this enormous weight takes some vigilance, believe it or not. No vigilance means I go back to 300 lbs. So, while I'm not actively in weight loss mode, I am conscious enough to be in "watch it or gain" mode.

I just am not feeling any diet motivation. Zip. I buy magazines to get me going--and nothing happens. They sit there unread (yes, that's you HEALTH and CLEAN EATING and SELF and ALLURE and FITNESS).

I did have a bad stretch of allergies/asthma this month, which didn't help. Not breathing well puts one into solid "I'm just gonna stay as still as I can and try not to use more oxygen than necessary, while using all my energy to suck in air."

But the asthma is okay today, and the allergies aren't killing me, and I still just wanna watch movies and nap.

I really yearn to feel that snap of purpose, that focus on goals, but I'm sort of generally purposeless lately (lately meaning, oh, most of this year).

If I figure out how to snap out of this ubermellow blandness, I'll let you know.

If you have a wonderful tip that doesn't involve some complicated system, let me know.

I really want to see some weight loss by Christmas, but making whoopie is about all that I've got motivation for. I tend to jump my hubby every chance I get (yes, Pilates unblocked my CHI like nobody's business and I've been a sex fiend) and take naps (which seem to follow directly from the previous activity). Making whoopie is well-motivated, but counting calories and produce shopping is not.

Hubby's happy, and I'm too mellow. Snarf.

Ya know, I had a chance to go to the beach (see pic of Bill Baggs State Park beach with lighthouse on Key Biscayne, Florida, offshore from Miami) with the family, my fave local beach even, and I just spazzed. It could be summer allergies getting to me, as they can contribute to that fatigue that equates into apathy, ya know?

Or is it the still-persistent heat? It's really icky here in Miami, even though fall is here, and going outside is NOT tempting unless it's way after sundown (or before sunrise). Even at night, it's humid and blah.

I can only hope that the bit of relief we get starting some time in October will get my mojo rising. I will restart my organic produce co-op once rainy season is mostly over, so that will help.

Come, winter!

Rise, mojo, rise!

5 comments:

The Better Idiot said...

The heat is still here too and I jsut wish it would get cold again.

I don't really have a tip seeing as I'm biggering again, except that once you start you'll wonder why you stopped. The more you do the more you want to do, but that starting day is a step you have to take yourself.

Heather said...

thats definitely a normal thing. I go through periods where Im all about losing weight and exercise, and other times, not so much. I think its fine and sometimes healthy to focus on other aspects of your life (as I am now) as long as you can always bring yourself back to whats important.

The Better Idiot said...

heh, yeah, but I think I've been in Japan a little too long because onigiri (rice balls) are kind of awesome. You can get plane but usually they have stuff in the middle, or the rice itself will mixed with stuff, so it's not always plain. You'd b amazed how they can hit the spot sometimes.

Miz said...

the heat here sapped my mojo as well.

UNLIKE any other summer.

HOWEVER I didnt get the whoopielonging unblocked either :)

**runs to look and see if she has a pilates DVD** :)

The Better Idiot said...

The lack of a plus size industry here is kind of crazy, I shop exclusively online.