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Friday, September 21, 2007

Strategies for The Scale and The Spouse:
What I Posted To Chubby Chick...

....just a few minutes ago at her terrific, honest, open JOURNEYING TO LOSE 200 blog. (I'll copy and paste at the bottom of this post. First, I must ramble.)

I figure we sometimes kick ourselves for not being perfect, and we can't. We can't be perfect. Ever. We're human. And we're learning.

Those of us losing A LOT of weight need time to adjust, to learn new habits, to figure out how to work around our triggers, to just learn self-control via good strategies in eating. It's hard work. And it's like learning a new vocation. Weight loss is a new job, nearly full-time in the beginning as we struggle to change old ways. Fitness is a new part-time job. Ain't that true, ladies and gents?

Eventually, the habits take over, and it only becomes a part-time job. But for us, it will never be totally breezy sailing. We have too much baggage. And we may have damage to our physiologies. So, even if losing/maintaining takes up 2 to 3 hours of thought and planning and action a day, it will always be a part-time job. Whether losing or maintaining, it's gonna be steps forward, steps back, more steps forward, steps back.

If the steps forward are MORE than the steps back--as Chuck Swindoll has taught--it's progress, and it's moving towards the goal. And the goal CAN BE REACHED, even if the stages look like two steps forward, one step back. You can reach the finish line that way.

I believe that, eventually, the steps forward far, far, far outweigh the backward ones. I do. I've seen the success stories. They tend to read that way.

So, whether it's scale anxiety or spouses who enable out of sheer love for us, we must deal with it. Whether it's triggers to binge, we must face them and strategize.

As I say in the comment: "It's war."

We need allies.

I'm your ally, Chubby Chick. And I need you to be mine.

Anyway, here's my post for those who, like us, need allies cause we have a long journey to "lose" those pounds and win our good health back, like me and Chubby Chick. Anything in brackets is my clarification that's not in the original comment post. I also corrected the unproofed comment I submitted, heh:

If that's what you need to do,{change to monthly weigh-ins} then do it. Some people have excessive scale anxiety, and weighing often is a hindrance. Others do better weighing in daily, cause it is a tool, just a marker, that makes them THINK about, "Okay, I ate too much salt, the water weight is shwong, today I'll eat less salt and more fruit and water."

We're all different.

I would suggest one thing: Write down a list of your trigger foods, things you tend to binge on, and tape it up somewhere obvious--the fridge, a bathroom mirror, and tell hubby that he must NEVER BUY YOU THOSE FOODS, EVEN IF YOU BEG.

I know that's tough, but husbands love us so much, they want to please us, even if it could kill us, sadly. If I tell my hubby, "I want chocolate cake," he'll get dressed, go to some restaurant or the store, and get me cake.

But I've told him: "Do not buy me junk. If I say I want junk, don't buy me junk. If I beg. Don't buy me junk. I will DIE, if I don't lose this weight. I will get diabetes. I'll have a premature stroke. If you buy me junk, you aid in killing me. So, I know you love me, love me enough NOT TO BUY ME PIG-OUT FOOD."

He's been great. So far. :) But love will break down will.

Be firm with him. Let him know he can't buy you a pizza or cake or ice cream or take you out for pig-outs. Just can't. It will tempt you too much.

It's war, baby. War. And we need our loved ones on OUR side, our allies in the battle, not sabotaging us out of love and a desire to fulfill our food whims.

Tell him, "When I"m hungry, you can get me X, Y, Z, cause these are healthful and good and, even if I eat too much, these things won't do damage."

Get him in on the plan.

And best of luck on those monthly weigh-ins. No matter what you weigh. you're a wonderful human being and easy to like and love. So...none of us here are juding your weigh-ins. Know that.


Chubby Chick said...

Thank you SO much for the wonderful comment that you left on my blog today! I really needed the support of my "allies" today. Thanks for coming through for me... once again!

I'm glad you posted your comment here on your blog, too. I'm sure a lot of wonderful ladies who are fighting the same "war" as us will benefit from reading this.

Thanks for being my "ally." I TRULY appreciate it... and consider it an honor to be your "ally" as well! To arms! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is brilliant. Even though I'm my own worst enabler [!!] I'm still aware of all the times I do this the OTHER way around - buy stuff ''FOR HIM'' so that i can enjoy the snack 'vicariously through him' and then, without fail, some of it ends up in - on - me. And then I ask for two, because I need one for each hip. Hah.

Oh, this journey.... this journey is my OWN. and that's all there is to it. and OH i'm glad i've got allies like you all on the way!

hugs from weezie


Teale said...

That's a really great comment, not only for her, but to everyone! Thanks for posting!