Overeating Ogre: OHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's the hardest day yet since I began the eating plan/restarted the diet.

The cravings were intense after lunch. Really awful. It was like this insanity that takes over. Stomach refuses to be appeased. Blood and hormones and whatever aren't getting the message to the brain.

Sucks.

No, chews. And chews.

So, here's the deal:

I ate well yesterday. Lots of fruit, veggies, lean protein. Tons of water. But: I ate less than I targeted for. I skipped supper. (This last is very key, I realize now. Take note.)

I woke up ravenous.

Fine. I had my food delivered early from Healthier Choices to Go. Had eggs and baked plantains. Protein and potassium rich fruit (veggie?).

Three hours later. Ravenous again. Had a slice of egg-white and spinach frittata with low-fat mozzarella. That didn't do it. Had a high-protein, low-fat waffle with applesauce.

Okay, two hours later I was wondering WHEN THE HELL WAS I GONNA EAT LUNCH?????

Managed to hold off another hour. Just barely. I was getting really cranky. Had my low-fat chicken breast and veggie pizza. Had organic green vegetable juice.

Nope. That didn't do it. Not even close. Wanted something totally salty and totally crispy and totally CRAP. Thinking chips. Thinking nachos. Thinking fritos. Thinking junk. Fighting it. Fighting it.

And I caved: Had a snack size bag EACH of Doritos and Cheetos from the hurricane supply tub. (Next year, I will plan a helluva lot better for the hurricane supplies. Yeesh.)

Still hungry. Still craving. Ready to eat yet more junk. Stopped. Horrified. Terrified. Ashamed. Insane. Thoughts incoherent. Then....sanity gleams.

Thought of alternative...

Had orange.

No. Stomach is still wailing, "Feed me!" Bloodstream is still vibrating with longing.

Decide to have something with lotsa filling fiber. (Yes, yes, should have thought of this FIRST.) Had a vitalicious vitatop. Mmmm. Chocolate. 6 grams of fiber. 100 calories. ONE WW POINT.

Nope. Stomach still screeching at me. Nasty things. Mean things. Horrible gurgly things. Got another vitatop thinking "Fiber. If I can only get enough fiber. The hunger pangs will stop!" Had some skim milk to chase the muffin top.

Yes. Yes. Finally. The screeching is a mere whine. I get on the phone with my sister. Another half hour later...all is calm.

Well, I've been full for two hours now.

I'm at the top, the limit of my self-imposed, allowable calorie count for a day. So, I have to decide if I will have a normal, low-calorie, healthful meal for supper and just call it a day with a caloric overload and move on, or just not eat for the rest of the day, calories used up.

I'm gonna wait and see how I feel in 90 minutes. If I'm not hungry, I'll call it a day with too much salt and some crap (and the bloat that will ensue tomorrow!) If I'm hungry, I'll have a light meal and go to bed as soon as I've digested so I don't get noshing urges.

I guess the honeymoon is over and the total fight has begun. My body has noticed that I was very close to losing 10 pounds (where I generally start getting that "I'm hungry" backlash). But I'm not giving up. The Gobbling Goblin and the Overeating Ogre are in for a long string of fights. I will get the upper hand.

I forgive myself. All is Forgiven. I'm moving on. :) Thanks, Our Lady of Weight Loss.

I do need to write down a card with a binge-stopping set of strategies. I didn't try everything. I didn't go out and just breathe in the sunlight. I didn't walk a block or two. I didn't find a craft or cleaning chore to do. I didn't sing. I didn't meditate. I didn't even pray. (I'm ashamed to say that, good religious gal that I am.)

I just panicked at having such an attack of hunger pangs. And a bit pissed at my body.

And I noticed one important thing: I tend to get crazy the day AFTER I miss a dinner or eat too few calories (ie, fewer than 1600). Notice this post. I got those chips and salsa binge urges the day after I had a low-eating day.

Now, I have a crazy-ass hunger attack the day after I miss supper. (I went to bed early. Left my veggie-burger pasta salad untouched.)

But, I forgive myself. I'm moving on. All...is...forgiven.

So, the Overeating Ogre and the Gobbling Goblin have both been at my house today. Blast the two of them!

How are you doing? Are you holding on? Are you feeling calm? Are you having urges?

Do better than I did. Try things I didn't in the midst of my food attack panic. Calm down. Walk. Dance. Sing. Pray. Meditate. Take a nap. Ask a friend to talk you down. Drink a quart of water.

Be good to yourself.

Later...