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Monday, September 10, 2007

Still Fighting Dragons, Goblins, & Ogres

I edited the September Challenge post below to reflect Sunday.

Sunday was going well...most of the day, that is. I was eating really good stuff. No junk. Then, I missed my protein mix (between meals) and I went 6 hours without eating, and the hunger came hard.

Historical Note: Evenings have always been tough. Night binges have been numerous.

I spent 45 minutes of that 6 hour delay yesterday pondering what to eat to use my remaining 8 WW Points. I had planned to eat a light supper, because I wanted to be in bed by 10pm. But the hunger was bad, so I went through all the things I had in the house that I could have that would fill me up. Finally, I narrowed it down to oatmeal with berries or chili. The chili had 20 grams of fiber. The fiber about a fifth of that. So, I went with the Healthy Valley chili. Whole can, four points. I decided I'd add low-fat cheese to make it more proteiny (plus I hadn't had my calcium that day.) I added salsa for a flavor punch. I drank a diet orange soda I'd had sitting in the fridge for more than two months, cause I didn't want to use up points on a beverage. And water, natch.

Well, I waited after eating, but the raging was still there. (What is up with my appetite? I go six hours without eating and it goes insane. Geesh.)

So, having had little calcium that day, I figured if I was gonna bust my points, I'd do it with low-fat vanilla organic yogurt and get my live cultures and calcium.

That didn't do it. So, I went for fruit. Two points worth of cherries and grapes.

That didn't do it. So, I went for protein this time and had a low-carb, EAS protein bar.

All told, I went roughly 8 points over my limit.

Interestingly, I still ate about 25-35 points less than I used to on normal eat-it-up days when I didn't write it down or think about my choices. I didn't eat junk. I didn't eat high-salt. I didn't eat Taco Bell or pizza. I didn't order Chinese Take-out. I had low-fat, high-fiber, protein and calcium.

So, while I'm disappointed in my overall performance for the weekened (ie Friday through Sunday), I see that I still haven't controlled my schedule to quell the beast. My dragon appetite just cannot go 5 and 6 hours unfed. I can't miss meals. When I do that, bad things happen.

Acquiring new habits is tough.

But I am not throwing in the towel. HOw many times in the past at this point did I just stop showing up at WW meetings? Did I just stop writing down my food consumption? Did I just say, "Why bother?"

I know why I'm bothering. It's in the mirror. It's in the picture of me at my heaviest that I taped to my food journal's inside cover. Note that my heaviest wasn't that long ago (2004) and it wasn't that HIGH ago (18 to 19 pounds more than now). It would be too easy to regain. It's too easy. And I am not going back there. I may hover here for a while maintaining before I move down again, but I am not going back.

The fight is worth it.

And, boy, I can't wait until I get my high-fiber pasta delivered. It's delayed. Why does it take so long to make pasta? Anyway... All that fiber should be great for filling me up. And I adore marinara sauce with lots of garlic. I'm gonna start figuring out what's most filling for me and I MUST KEEP THAT IN THE HOUSE AND STOCKED AND READY.

The THIN COMMANDMENTS guy talks about how strategy is mightier than cravings. Strategy beats Overeating Ogres. Well, I'm paraphrasing.

More truth: I've been lazy. I haven't done enough.

One: I didn't make the WW veggie soup (which, when I was perfect on plan was the most filling, low-calorie option around the houe). I have to make it , pack it in tupperware, and have it there to nuke when the appetite beast roars.

Two: I also need to get me some fat free cheddar slices and low-cal bread, so I can make a fast 3 points sandwich to go with that soup when necessary. I hate fat-free cheese (I prefer the 50 calorie low-fat for toasted cheese), but it's a reality that I need that in my arsenal right now.

Three: I'm still not exercising regularly.

As I said. Lazy. Not enough.

But we are still in the fight. Amen!

Okay, that's my update.

I already have my food delivery for today: egg white frittata and oatmeal, chicken pita sandwich for lunch, beef paprika for supper. And I have my protein powder on the counter for between meals. I just need to make a shopping list for my "ward off hunger with minimal points" stuff. The soup fixings. The lite, hi-fiber bread. The fat-free slices. Some more low-fat stuff with BEANS.

Off I go to another day of fatfighting.

I hope your appetites on Sunday treated y'all better than me.

Be good to yourself. Eat an apple. Meditate for 10 minutes. Stretch. Drink your water.

HAPPY MONDAY! Onward and Downward!


Chubby Chick said...

Hey, girl! Keep fighting the fight! We all have days where we're super hungry. You are definitely not alone in that! Evenings have always been hard for me, too.

Thanks for all the comments you've left on my blog lately. I REALLY appreciate your thoughts and input.

And... by the way... I tagged you today! You'll have to hop on over and see what I'm talking about.

Hope you have a great day!

Lisa said...

Oh I know those green monster dudes! Sugar cravings, carb fogginess, fried crap. I exterminated those buggers! lol