~~The Holy Grail of Weight Loss: Magic Numbers

Escape from Obesity blog has an interesting post from September 4--oh, I realize now I missed Biggest Loser, dang--and it's about "Magic Numbers":

I think every fat person has what I call "Magic Numbers" in their head. A Magic Number is a certain weight that has some kind of emotional attachment to it. For example, maybe when you got married you weighed 223, and since then you have gained and gained and are now 280 pounds. It is likely that 223 is a "Magic Number" for you, because it reminds you of your wedding, and it seems like such a great number to reach for. You probably have 223, or maybe 222, as a goal in your head. Now in all reality, weighing 224 is not much different than weighing 222, but to YOU, it is enormous. Reaching that Magic Number will feel like a tremendous victory. So, take a minute and think. What are YOUR Magic Numbers?

There ya go. The Holy Grail of Weight Loss: The Quest for the Magic Numbers that will make everything all right again. Health. Self-esteem. Wardrobe. Sense of style. Relationships. Job success.

We attach a lot to those numbers. For me, number one is health. I'm terrified of diabetes and strokes. Number two is being able to do stuff I can't do anymore because of the limitations of morbid obesity. Number three is an end to the embarassing social situation syndrome and the fear of humiliation that comes with not fitting properly into booths and seats.

I notice some of our magic numbers overlap, and here are mine:

250: That's the number I was at the last time I wore something feminine and frilly and didn't feel like a total goob. I still have the shirt in my closet. That was, oh, 7 or so years ago.

227: That's what I weighed when I started coming online. I even ventured into some BBW areas, to chat with other fat gals. But, unfortunately, there were loads of fat-gal-loving sex fiends around, and their annoying presence outweighed the benefits. I also remember wearing belts. I had a real waist. I'd like to wear belts with regularity again. I used to be a belt fiend.

199: Naturally. The magic number for all of us over 200 gals. Breaking the 200 barrier. I remember when I used to think it would never happen, that I'd never be OVER 200. Hah. I broke 300 at the doctor's offices in 2004 with clothes and shoes on (and made it to 299 on the home scale. That was a wake-up call of terror.)

172: That's what I weighed when I graduated college. I looked pretty nice in some of those 80's outfits with the shoulder pads and cinched belts. I had a real, real waist, nipped in and all. I also was able to do yoga cause I was flexible, without a huge gut in the way or my thighs rubbing so hard they might start fires. Yes, this is a magic number.

160: The magic GOAL WEIGHT number.

145: What I weighed when I met my husband. I soon weighed 140, cause I couldn't eat from the sheer slamming effect of lust and love. (We didn't go all the way until our wedding night, so it was a lot of lust!) I just wanted to look at him. I'd go out to dinner with him and be unable to swallow. I wish that still happened. :D I find him hot and delicious, but the whole "can't swallow cause you're overwhelming me" thing didn't last more than a few weeks. Pity.

139: What I weighed the last time I wore a bikini. I was 17. I loved swimming. I haven't swum in 24 years. And I live in Miami. How sad is that? I would pass out if I ever stepped on a scale and weighed that. (And hey, I was size 12/13.)

I honestly can't remember weighing less than that. I think because I didn't start using scales until I was a teen and visited my sister's townhouse (she had a scale) and used her pool. So, 139 is my earliest weighing in memory.

There ya go. My magic numbers.

Yours?