Breaking the 11 Day Dry Posting Spell With a New Weight Loss Challenge

I've been battling a bout of depression--the Blue Ghoulies. I can sense when it's coming, cause my feelings flatten out, and I just want to sleep, and when I'm not sleeping, eat. I even told my hubby last week, "Oh-oh, you need to pray. I feel the black cloud coming back."

I've had periodic blues since I was 9. Eating well, resting well, controlling stress, praying, and singing usually help a lot. But when I get into a stressful time or miss sleep or whatever, I'm more vulnerable. And it will come without warning, for no reason (ie, life is going just fine and dandy). Anyway, I'm still beating it off, and trying to win this round. (Yes, I was prescribed Cymbalta, but I'm terrified of side effects, so I've stayed away from antidepressants as much as I can and just wait for it to pass. Inevitably, it does, though the bout I got when my mom was dying lasted more than a year and really, I think I was close to a heart attack or something, it was pretty bad and I was gaining weight at a scary pace, medicating with food.)

So, I'm starting the New Year on a cusp--waiting to see if it will be sunny or cloudy internally, and hoping for sun, of course. :) I haven't fully slipped over the edge to the gloom, and I think that's partly because of family gatherings and the season itself, which compels a certain amount of joy from one's soul.

But...this is a diet blog, not a Princess Blues blog, so on to the diet stuff:

I totally crapped out of the old challenge toward the end. (Granted, ended it lighter than I began, but fizzled all the same.) But I'm 15 pounds lighter than I was when I started this blog in May. So, this blog has helped me lose, as has the encouragement, inspiration, and support of you fatfighting bloggers out there. Thanks, y'all.

For me, a new challenge is always a good thing, because it makes you accountable, no matter how lightly, sporadically, or iffily. I need that accountability.

Thanks to the TALES FROM THE SCALES crew for their challenge. On to Shannon's Easter Challenge.

Here's the deal. The starting weigh-in is today.

I got on the scale after NOT doing so for a couple of days, and, voila:

274.0

I kind of like that I'm starting on a Point Zero weigh-in. I don't like that I'm up from my previous low. But, considering the holiday excesses and the empanadilla feast yesterday (one and a half large meat pastries sopping with grease and two handfuls of barbecued potato chips. Two cups of sangria. Two amaretto sours (very unlike me to have more than a glass of wine at an occasion, but dang those were tasty.) The only healthful thing I had was the Vitalicious cake slice. hah. Sad.

So, I was up almost two pounds from my low.


Time to stop with the holiday gorging on fried or gravied delights and back to veggies, fruits, and healthful meals.

This challenge takes us nearly to Easter.

December 31st – 274.0
January 7th – Week 1 WI
January 14th – Week 2 WI
January 21st – Week 3 WI
January 28th – Week 4 WI
February 4th – Week 5 WI
February 11th – Week 6 WI
February 18th – Week 7 WI
February 25th – Week 8 WI
March 3rd – Week 9 WI
March 10th – Week 10 WI
March 17th – Week 11 WI
March 23rd – EASTER--Goal of being at 250 (or less) by this day

It's an 11 (or 12 week challenge if you want to weigh-in on Easter Sunday), and calculating a 2 lb weight loss per week, then my goal is to be 24 lbs lighter by Easter (yep, let's consider it a 12 week challenge.) It would be very nice to fit into a smaller size Easter Dress. (Though we don't really call it Easter, but Resurrection Day around my house, or Dia de la Resureccion, but I'll go with EAster since it's Shannon's challenge and that's what she calls it.)

The hardest part for me, without question, will be the exercise portion. To exercise 4 x a week at 30 mins. Sigh. It's really hard to move at my size--with knees complaining, ankles creaking, back spasming. But, I will be talking positive to myself every day. Even if I have to break it up into 3 10 minutes sessions, I do believe it's doable, so I need to "Just do it!"

Let me know if you're doing this challenge, too.

And here's The Princess wishing you all...

A New Low for The Princess & Catching Up With Some Fatfighting Bloggers

As some of you may have noticed, I'd been using the dehydrated after-one-day-of-a-7lbs-loss of when I had the stomach bug in October as a sort of low benchmark. Well, I passed it. Without a stomach bug.

Today, the scale practically sang at me: 272.4

The post-stomach-bug, my-intestines-are-totally-free-of-matter, I-nearly-live-and-sleep-on-the-toilet weight was 272.6.

It's a mini-milestone.

The next one will be 269. Looks like that won't happen until January, but that's okay. I suddenly feel a second wind that says, "Yes, you'll get there soon."

Other good news:

~Chubby Chick is back on track. Yay. We've got our fave diet cheerleader back in force!
~Teale is also zipping along on that track, losing what was gained and with superb attitude.
~Heather has made it into the--ta dah--170's. We celebrate the loss! I hope next year by this time, I can say I made it to the 170's, too. Or lower!
~Lisa is looking so gorgeous. What a face on that woman! And she's learned how to "float" with self-caring.

Go give encouragement or advice or a hug to:

~Lady T, who needs to figure out how to fit in exercise. If you've managed to carve out time in a busy schedule with all sorts of obstacles, go tell her how you did it.
~Lady Shanny, who really needs to befriend a seamstress. :) Leave her a cheery comment.
~Diana, whose had a blip--medication sometimes will do this.
~Sonya, who's done great in the Challenge, but is struggling this week.

Who I'd like an update from:

~CCC, of whom I hope there is LESS of, since she's soon off to Paris! Just because we're jealous doesn't mean we don't want ya to let us know how the pre-Paris prep is going.
~Caroline, who's been MIA since early November. Come on. We need to hear from you, lady!
~Flabuless, who's cheery face is always a delight, and who doesn't blog nearly enough. It's coming up on two weeks. She's been exercising 2 hours a day (!!!) leading to a 20 lb loss in a few weeks. Swimming, hill climbing, etc, in New Zealand must leave her too tired to update. Post, woman, post! :) (I adore how she pronounces "fat", so it sounds like "fet" as in Boba Fett. Cute.)

Keeping Holiday Stress (and Year-End Weight) Down

Diet Blog has a good article about managing the stress that comes along with the holidays--and we know what stress makes some of us do, don't we?--which I recommend y'all read.

I especially found valuable the part about analyzing self-talk and spotting our own exaggerations. Oh, yeah. I'm prone to that! That particular bit of advice meshes well with the BECK METHOD stuff I've been reading/applying.

Scale Tale: More Progress for Princess Snail Dieter...

I'm happy to report in for this week's challenge weigh-in. Another week with loss. Yippee!

Today, Mr. Tanita says:

273.2

It's been three months since the challenge began (in September), and my total loss (ignoring the part that went up and had to come down again) was only 6.8 pounds. Clearly, I am NOT that competitive, huh?

It's true. I haven't challenged myself very much. Some days, some weeks, I was lucky to hold steady. Others, I went sliding backwards on a trail of gravy.

However, we're in the midst of the holidays, and what I gained during the Thanksgiving holiday splurges and presurgical face-stuffing is gone. And I haven't gained during the busy shopping, prepping week. I feel good about that.

But I still feel bad about slacking so much. I'm nowhere near my challenge goal.

Still, I choose to focus on progress overall, and that's a simple fact: I'm looking to end this year lighter than I ended last. And I'll end the year lighter than I started it. That's a gain.

So, while I suck at the competitive thing, I'm happy to not have caved in and given up (as I have in the past). It's been three months of irregular adherence to my own healthy eating and weight loss guidelines for this challenge, but I'm still here.

And it's been 7 months since I started this blog, and I'm 15.8 pounds lighter (as of today) then I was back in May.

This gives me hope, a lot of hope, that I can continue to learn, retrain, and move forward in 2008.

Nothing better than ending the year with progress and starting a new one with hope.

To all my fatfighting buddies: YOU ROCK! Thanks for the good words through the past months. I look forward to being your encourager--and being encouraged--during the months to come.

May these sacred and joyful days fill us up so much with love and memories and dreams that we don't need to stuff on junk.

Onward and DOWNWARD!

Quickie Weight Update

Today, the scale was kind:

273.8

A new non-stomach-bug low since this blog started. :::smile:::

Scale Tale: What Was Gained Is Now Lost, Weight-wise; Some of what was Lost Is Now Gained, Sightwise, and Some Lost Forever.

I meant to post this Wednesday--ie, yesterday--but my eyes tired out after reading email and posting on a forum. The surgery went well Monday. I opted for modified monovision, so I'm getting used to one eye for far and one for mid-range. I do need reading glasses for anything within arms length--like most folks nearing fifty--but I'm getting used to seeing the monitor sans progressives, and I can walk around my house without specs--which I could not do before unless I wanted to fall, bump into furniture, etc.

I can't wash my face for week, so you can imagine how gunky my eyelashes look with multiple drops a day and no washing. Ugh.

I also have to sleep with safety glasses or goggles, which is hardly comfy. Because I can't go fully on my side, I've been sleeping propped up on the couch. I'm getting less sleep than my normal quantity this way, but I'm not feeling too taxed; and it must be deep and restful during those five hours, at least, cause it's not having a negative impact on the scale.

Yesterday--when I was gonna post--I weighed in at my previous non-stomach-bug low of 274.8.

Today, Mr. Tanita says:

274.4

I'm having food delivery done, cause while I'm resting my eyes, and until I can get prescription reading glasses for close work, I really don't wanna futz around in the kitchen. So, a lot of chicken and egg whites, fruit and salad, and low-fat dairy. I've been treating myself to skim milk made with Scharffen Berger natural cocoa powder and Splenda (ie, a sugarless, home-made cocoa) almost every night. Mmm. Maybe that's helping the sleep.

I hope my blogging buddies in the fat fight are doing well. Unfortunately, my eyes are still healing and poop out fast. So, I apologize for not keeping up with everyone, and hope that in a couple of weeks (as my eyes adjust to monovision), I can be back on the ball 100%.

Hope my Jewish pals have had a great Hanukah, and that everyone celebrating or preparing to celebrate is having a lot of peace and joy and love with friends and loved ones, at work and at home and, hey, even in the malls.

Be randomly kind even more often this season, since it's especially hard for some who are stressed or lonely or, if they're fat-fighters, tempted by the endless displays of holiday goodies and feastings.

Onward and DOWNWARD!

Weight Stuff and Eye Stuff

First the Weight Stuff:

Been fluctuating from 277 to 279. (The latter after a soy/sodium fest at the local highly-praised, chefs eat there after they close their restaurants, Japanese place.) So, really, not doing ideally. I've been eating way too much sweets--La Nouba marshmallows covered in chocolate, Raisinets, Goobers, some stuff hubby got me at the mall from Leonidas--and it's cause I'm fretting about the eye thing. Not an excuse. I know better. Just saying that stress makes me want chocolate, and I've not been saying no.

And this is what I'm fretting about:

I'm scheduled for LASIK eye surgery tomorrow. I'm a total wuss. Instead of thinking benefits, I'm freaking thinking about complications and mishaps. Part of me is conflicted because I have both myopia and presbyopia and outcomes for middle-aged folks is not generally idea. If I get the monovision one (one eye for far, one for reading), I compromise acuity at both ends, and I may not adjust well. And I may not get my driver's license renewed by the State! If I do far vision, given my severe myopia, I will not be able to see anything within, what, two to three feet of me. I'll need reading glasses. (I can read without glasses if it's really close to me, but after about 7-8 inches, it starts to blur.) So, correcting my myopia leaves me like a normal-sighted middle-aged person: needing reading glasses.

Either way, I give up something.

So, we'll see. I may not be a candidate--the doc will let me know after the tests. And I may chicken out--run like a crazy-eyed woman with fear.

If you're the praying sort, please pray that I make a wise decision and, if I go through with it, no complications or further surgeries are needed. Thanks.

Part of the reason I want to do this is to be able to swim at our local pool (which is ONE BLOCK from my house. ONE.) and at the beach (which is a five minute drive away). Right now, without glasses, I'm essentially blind. And so, I've avoided water and rain and stuff for decades. I haven't been to the beach to swim since, oh, 1981 or '82. And I live in Miami. I know, crazy. But glasses do impede.

And when I'm in the shower, I can't see what I'm doing (shaving is iffy). And in the summer, my glasses condense when I leave a cool house or car, and I'm temporarily blind. It's a pain.

But having your vision compromised by complications/infections/mistakes is worse.

So, I've been fretting. And eating chocolate. And fretting.

But, tomorrow is decision day. I hope I just make a good decision and not just an emotional one.

If I don't check in, it's cause I had it done and can't use the computer for X amount of time during recovery.

Be well, all. Eat soundly. Do not follow MY recent example. Do better than I am.

Blessings...oh, and...

ONWARD AND DOWNWARD!

Do You Like Hot Cocoa?

If so, I gotta heartily recommend Scharffen Berger's natural cocoa powder, unsweetened.

Oh, man. I am so digging this. Been having a cup every night (with Splenda and skim milk) and I've been sleeping sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Plus, the taste rocks my mouth.

I've tried a lot of cocoa powders for hot cocoa, including Ghirardelli, Hershey's, Droste. I've grated my own chocolate from imported bars. I've even used baking chocolate bars, like the amazing Valrhona's (melting them to mix with milk.) Just recently tried one from Netrition.com that was organic, but didn't have me in ecstasies like S-B.

I find the bitter edge that some cocoa powders have is not there in Scharffen Berger's powder, and that's nice. It's dark, it's got great flavor, it makes killer hot cocoa. I like it so much, I just ordered five tins from the company's website. (The vendor at amazon.com charged 12 bucks for shipping one tin, and more for extra. Forget that!)

If you're ever in the supermarket, look for it. Williams Sonoma carried it (I got it at the mall last Monday.)

This is the real thing--no alkali, no Dutch processing, no sugar. It's got the heart healthy benefits of cocoa powder sans alkali. But, really, aside from that, don't we really drink it cause it's comforting and delicious and just makes us feel young and warm inside? Yeah. I thought so. And for dieters, it gives you that dose of chocolate aroma and taste without oodles of saturated fat and calories. It's a diet treat with health benefits and soothes the soul.

The Princess' product recommendation for the day: Scharffen Berger's cocoa powder (natural, unsweetened).

MmmmMmmmmMMMMmmmmmmMmmm.
~

If you like fantasy fiction and fantasy art

The Princess Dieter (ie, ME!) is a fantasy-loving royal freak.

Let me recommend a novel: WIND FOLLOWER by Carole McDonnell.

I really enjoyed it. It's a multicultural fantasy (set in a non-Earth world that mirrors our world) and it has a very Christian spirit. Part love story, part "finding identity" story, part tribal conflict story, it's a good read. I know fantasy is not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoyed that African/Asian/Native Amerian/European cultures are mirrored (without being copied exactly), and it's not just a bunch of white elves bopping around in medieval outfits. (Not that I can't enjoy that, too, but, you know, that's become sorta cliche.)

In case you were looking for a read during your holiday days off.

And if you're looking for a lovely book for children (to read to them or to let them read for themselves if they're able to read at that level, say 8 or 9 or 10), here's a gorgeously illustrated and delightful tale with a lesson about accepting and respecting those who are different: The Woman Who Outshone the Sun/La Mujer Que Brillaba Aun Mas Que El Sol. I was enraptured by this poetically scripted Mexican tale and the excellent, colorful artwork.

I also got my 2008 wall calendar, and it's full of artwork from one of my favorite artists, who specializes in fantasy art, including covers for children's and adult fantasy books: Kinuko Y. Craft. If you enjoy intricate art of wonders, I can recommend it. Utterly stunning. Visit her website and enjoy her immense talent. It's like giving your eyes a gift. And maybe it will sate an emotional appetite so that you don't nibble on a no-no. (Hey, it's an idea!)

PSA: Don't Use Your Credit or Debit Card on Kimkins Website

Medusa is sounding the warning, and I wanted to add my voice:

Please, don't give your credit card or debit card information to Kimkins, the scam diet site. Heidi Diaz is not someone to trust. Just google up her name or do a blog search for Kimkins and you will learn.

Or visit Medusa.

Remember, don't trust lying liars who lie. Especially not with your credit info.

Find a legitimate, scandal free, health-promoting place to lose weight online. Kimkins is NOT it.
~~

Kimkins Still Sucks

For those who haven't been keeping up (er, like me), there are new developments in the Kimkins scam and Heidi Diaz adventures (AKA the lying liar who lies). You can start your catching up over at Kimkins Scam And Medusa's blog.

And it seems I missed Tippy Toes's banning and "turnaround." (Okay, so I reserve a tad bit of skepticism, while nurturing hope.)

She's learned that chronic liars and scammers don't stop lying and scamming. And we've learned what we suspected all along: Heidi was raking in big bucks while doling out pittances to the people really doing the work to keep the site going. The emphases are MINE:

But recently Kimmer had a deposition with Teidt. I saw parts of it. Kimmer told me she was in danger of losing her car. She had financed it to build credit and can no longer make the payments. She couldn't buy milk on her ATM card... And so I then learn from her own deposition that she had 1.6 million in cash, spent almost half a million on a house just prior to deposition, and that she bought two cars with CASH. It was then I realized Kimmer was not really coming clean as I had hoped she would. Things really were not changing after all. And her photos on the front page... I had recruited Brian and Heather to be out there with her losing weight. I began to notice that Heather was losing a lot of weight pretty quickly and Kimmer claimed about the same loss. But suddenly Kimmer looked 100lbs less than Heather and I knew something wasn't right. It was really the final straw for me. I have asked Kimmer numerous times what Kimkins plan she was following and never received a reply. This, combined with the rest was too much for me and I decided to take a break and reflect on the situation.

--from Medusa's "TippyToes Spills the Beans! Sort of..."


So, she went on a spending spree right before her deposition. I'm guessing in California a house cannot be taken in bankruptcy? Hmmm? Yeah, she's sheltering her money before anyone can get some. She made people work for her with pay cuts then for zero money, claiming she had no moolah, while enriching herself with a house and two cars. Can we say evil, rotten bitch?

May karma bite her a big one on her ginormous butt. Soon.

Tale Scale: Gluttony and Sloth = Regain

Okay, so here I am: I missed two challenge weigh-ins in November.

The reason for those absences was, as my previous post explains, that I was besotted by days of feasting in Valley Gorge.

But all vacations end, and not everything one does in the Gorge stays in the Gorge. In fact, what one does in the Gorge shows up on the scale.

~My last challenge weigh-in was 274.8

~My highest weight in the interim from then til now was 280.2.

~My current weigh-in (ie, this morning) is:

278.2

Obviously, I was not alone in Valley Gorge. I had lots of Overeating Ogres attending to my desires with their supersized green hands.

If there are lessons to learn--and there are--it's these: Ceasing to use the tools is disastrous. Ceasing to be vigilant is detrimental. Ceasing to keep one's eyes on the goals is demotivating. And it's very easy to feel like we deserve that slice of cheesecake or that extra serving of mashed potatoes or that second helping of X, Y, and Z.

Ultimately, I packed on 5.8 pounds (with some of it water, I know) in five days during Thanksgiving week. Then I struggled, slightly, not to over-over do after that, which let it come down about a pound. (Mostly water, I know.)

How easy to go up. How hard to come back down.

But this is a quest. This is an ADVENTURE, and as such there are battles major and minor and pleasures big and small and allies and enemies. And it doesn't always (or even often) go easily. Not many things of great value come easily.

Today, like every day, is another day to get it better, to get it MORE right, to get it moving in a good direction.

My desire to be on plan now outweighs my desire to linger in Valley Gorge.

It was good to visit my blogging pals today and find many successes. It made me sad to see others are struggling (from a little to a lot). Please drop by the blogs of those who are struggling and send a supportive comment. Please congratulate those who are flying down the scaleway.

It's nice to NOT be alone in the quest.

Now, here are some online bloggers who, like me, have been sidetracked or totally derailed. I covet prayers for myself and them:

Lady T
Chubby Chick
Teale
Kim Ayres
Lyn
Zanitta

For those struggling to recover, like me, or who want to avoid holiday pitfalls in the coming weeks, visit Grumpy Chair's excellent and useful post on mapping a path to weight loss.


Now, here are bloggers who inspire me today with their achievements, with how they are using their tools and staying on plan and moving forward:


Lady Rose
Melodee
CCC (and her cousin D)
Becky
Kellie
Amber
Wallow Girl
Poppy
Tiger Lilly
Lady Shanny, who is especially inspiring and motivating to me today. Thank you for your terrific posts.

Onward and DOWNWARD!

The Princess Lives and is Back on the Weight Loss Wagon after a Side Trip to Valley Gorge

No, I was not abducted by aliens.

I just had a combination of busyness, blogging sloth, and Bad Princess Off Eating Plan syndrome.

Time flies. Even when aliens aren't involved.

So, a recap:

*Drifted off plan in the weekdays prior to Thanksgiving. (Hubby off work; We ate. Or rather, I took it as an excuse to overeat.)

*Ate like a piggy Thanksgiving, which was so good that it was hard to regret. Until I stepped on the scale the Friday after and it was 280.2. My lowest being the Saturday prior at 274.4. I did say the week went badly, yes?

*Didn't really put a brake on things the week AFTER Thanksgiving, so the scale started to scare me daily, without mercy.

*Had a cake orgy (cheesecake; chocolate layer cake) at my niece's birthday party on Sunday. On the plus side, got some exercise playing with the kids, which showed me how utterly dreadfully out of shape I am, cardiovascularly-speaking, cause I was soooooooo gaspy.

*Tried to rein self in without using the usual, tried-and-true tools (measuring, planning, journaling religiously, blogging, getting support, etc.) That didn't work so well.

*Got busier.

*Decided the sloth and gluttony was getting out of control when lackluster, undisciplined efforts yielded no results. So, began retracing steps to sanity over last two days.

*Am back on track as of yesterday.

Yesterday: I finally, FINALLY, sat down and began the Beck Diet Method. I did my first exercise: My Advantages Response Card. I have 41 advantages on there, and I had to make up THREE cards to fit them all. But, the exercise said to think of as many reasons as possible, and I did. If I think of more, I'll just add them.

Today: Day Two--I need to complete my Day One stuff (I fell asleep before I could) and place copies of my ARCs around the house and begin to get in the habit of reading them twice daily. I also will do the day two exercise of the therapy says I am to pick two reasonable diets.

I'll be posting regularly again (barring another whoopsie with BellSouth, which had our internet access down nearly the whole day Monday). I'm sure I'll have another post today, too. To catch up and to do my Tales from the Scales challenge weigh-in.

I want to thanks the lovely ladies who posted and prodded and checked up on me--you know who you are--for your encouragement. God bless you with many things for your kindness and concern, including with a major loss this week. :)

Smoochies from The Princess...

Using Dr. Beck's Tools To Cope With Cravings and Emotional Eating

I've just added a new member to my Diet Blog Royalty set of links: Beck Diet Girl. Since some of my blogging pals have struggled--as I have--with cravings, binges, emotional eating and other out of control food uses, I thought it would be good to focus on those psychological tools out there. In this case, Dr. Beck's tools.

Beck Diet Girl posted this back in August, and it will help when cravings hit (if implemented, of course):

Dr. Beck offers two kinds of anti-craving strategies: Mindset Techniques and Behavioral Techniques.

There are 5 Mindset Techniques:

Label It. Tell myself this is only a craving, not a true need.
No problem.


Stand Firm. Tell myself I am absolutely not going to eat the food I'm craving.
Easier said than done.


Don't Give Yourself a Choice. Tell myself NO CHOICE.
How is this different than standing firm? Apparently I'll find out on Day 16.


Imagine the Aftermath of Giving In. Think about giving in to the craving, but focus on what happens after I swallow: feeling weak and out of control and hopeless.
This is a great idea!


Remind Myself Why I Want to Learn to Withstand Cravings. Read my ARC.
Another great idea!

There are 4 Behavioral Techniques:

Distance Myself from the Food I Crave. Leave the room or throw away or give away the food.
This could be difficult since it calls on will power again.


Drink a No- or Low-Calorie Beverage. Satisfying thirst masked as hunger can erase cravings; have a glass of water or another low-calorie drink.
I already do this, drinking almost a gallon of water a day, and it does help.


Relax. Focus on my breathing, in through my nose for 4 counts and out for 4 counts.
This can be helpful in stressful situations of any kind.


Distract Myself. Perform another activity instead of giving in to the craving.
A definite winner!

The idea is to practice these techniques when a craving hits so I'll be able to ignore it until it goes away.

In this other post, she uses the same tools to address emotional eating.

The tools worked for her, cause until this past week, she had not had a weight gain/regain. She's pulling out her Beck set of tools to address it.

I know that weeks when I do better (when I look at my records) are when I instinctively did some of these techniques (remember, I haven't read the book.) The distraction. The water. The distance. The low-cal beverage or snack. The firm self-talk. Thing is, I really have slacked off. Like Beck Diet Girl, it's time to bring the tools back to the forefront. Which means putting the weight loss as priority one. Something's got to give. I let dieting go to the back burner, and as a result, I spent most of the last month not losing. (I wish I could multi-task with greater ease and balance, but I can't. I suck at juggling in my middle age. Did better at it when I was younger.)

If you want to use Dr. Beck's tools, I recommend her book. (I have it, but need to read and implement it!) Also, her blog, with links to bloggers using her method.


More books for those who need to get free from emotional eating:

DragonFire Factoid: Emotional Eating Big Obstacle to Big Loss & Maintenance

New research shows that those who have the hardest time keeping off the weight are those who eat for internal emotional reasons.

The study (published in Obesity) looked at those who were participating in a behavioral weight loss trial and also used data from the National Weight Control Register (NWCR).

The study found that it was easy to predict outcomes for those who ate in response to internal cues, such as feelings and thoughts. Essentially the higher levels of "internal disinhibition" at the beginning of the weight loss program - meant the less weight loss overall.

--Diet Blog "Maintaining Your Weight: Emotional Eating Must Be Addressed"

~~

Scale Tale: Vampire Mode & A Wee Bit 'O Progress

Another spotty week. I have to admit, I've lost a good portion of my focus. This happens when weight loss is not priority one. It has NOT been priority one. Things like some home improvement and writerly stuff has taken precedence.

Plus my schedule is all blown to hell again. I've been going to sleep anywhere from 8 am to 1 pm, and I've been getting up anywhere from 4pm to 8pm. This is always a troubling schedule for me. I tend to want to eat MORE, so I've been fighting the vampire syndrome (wake up to EAT!)

Still, despite lasagna and tiramisu with hubby yesterday, Mr. Tanita says:

274.8

Thank God for small mercies.

And I'll be honest, I did NOT want to step on the scale. I forced myself to. The Challenge kept me accountable, if a day late. I really thought it would be bad, since I've been having my characteristic chin and jawline breakout that signals hormonal changes in prep for the Red Guest. But, I guess perimenopause is winning this round. No sign of a visitor. Well, other than salty cravings and zits. :P

I'm working today on getting back on track, and part of that is posting (this, yeah) and reading (like this series of posts) and visiting my blogging fatfighter pals. It's a journey. Or, as Tales from the Scales blog has in their post today on Positive Self-talk, it's an ADVENTURE!

~

Sharing Some of My Art Collection

--L'Amore by Sara Butcher


The last couple eating days have been weird, not to mention sleeping and everything else. Had to move all the stuff out of my kitchen and dining room to put new flooring, and scrub the floors on my hands and knees, clean the fridge, etc. I could barely walk yesterday and today. Everything from the waist down hurts! The lack of adequate sleep and odd schedule has me eating off plan. Plus, Thursday--pizza binge. Again. I can easily say that's my number one trouble food. But I didn't have anything in the house to make it and it was late and, yes, the only restaurants open late round here are pizza joints and Denny's and IHOPs. And only pizza delivers.

So, today, I woke up after sleeping 9 hours. Nice! And I had a healthy 300 calorie breakfast of egg white and spinach frittata and a raw tomato with parsley and olive oil. Fresh-ground coffee to die for. And I got to enjoy my nice new floor.

Still moving like a hobbled senior citizen, but, that'll pass.

Since my eating has been crap two days running, and I'm breaking out, and I'm holding water, I decided to offer you something much nicer to look at than my ankles at present. :)

A few things from the art I've collected since last year. (Which will have to tide me over for a while, since we got our tax bills and the budget just DIED!)

First, a piece that was my Christmas present last year from hubby. I commissioned it from Sara Butcher, an enormously talented young artist who specializes in Christian (ie, angels and such) and Fantasy (ie fairies, wizards, etc) art. My watercolor came out so nice, a friend of mine commissioned art, too, and than another recommended Sara to her boss, who had her sister memorialized as a stunning angel by Sara in a watercolor. (Makes me emotional to think about it, and it's so lovely a tribute.)

My painting is called "Warrior's Guardian"--the title was chosen by Sara. (click the link to see a LARGER, better image).I merely specified what I wanted in the panting (ie, a large, black-haired angel with a dragon and a knight in each hand.) Here she is:



I spent a mini-boatload on a fabulous golden frame with a pattern that matches that on the angel's bodice. It hangs here, in my office. And when I look at her, I feel so good and calm. She's therapeutic. She's also doctrinally trinitarian. Those of you who are trinitarian will catch what I mean. Everyone else, just notice the pattern of THREEs in the painting--in the buds, the layers of the skirting, in the rings of light, in the birds, etc. There are various sets of three, including, of course, the three central beings: the dragon, the knight, and the angel.

The first image way up top, that's L'Amore by Sara, and I bought that ACEO because it reminded me of hubby and myself, him fair of hair, me dark, and lots of love, love, love!

Another gifted fantasy artist is Carmen Keys. I bought an original watercolor that she'd already painted (not to my specs) because the expression on the elvish lady's face reminded me of my mom, who happened to love both that lavender color and lilies. It's called, fittingly, "DREAM OF LILIES"



I spent a second mini-boatload framing her gloriously. Took a long time to find the right matting colors to suit the color scheme. Probably the toughest color selection for professional framing I've ever had to do. But it came out splendidly. (I need to one day take digital shots of them as they hand on the wall, cause the frames and good matting actually accentuates the beauties of the works.)



At left is an adorable small painting (and ACEO), also by Carmen Keys, and it's called "Afraid of the Dark." I suffered badly from that phobia for years. I'm much better now, thanks.
At right is a cute "sweater fairy" I bought from Natalie Ewert. I wish I could afford some of her Queen of Hearts originals in her Alice In Wonderland series. Love those!

My most recent commission--the artist just sent me the final image via email yesterday--is one based on the character and setting of my Novel-In-Progress. The character is named Selah, and the background skyline is in Miami. The novel is an urban fantasy. But here is Hanna Sandvig's conception of Selah (who lives in a magical, multi-dimensional pseudo-monastery with a particularly attractive and mysterious guardian angel, a place where no one ages and many secrets are kept):



As previously, I specified what I wanted (the scar on her cheek, the color and style of hair, a red blouse, a ghostly moon, a "Gothy" feel to her outfit, a misty environment, an ancient looking stone edifice), but it's Hanna's talent that brought her to life. You can tell that Hanna has a strong "anime" sensibility. Hubby and I occasionally watch anime, and I wanted something in that milieu.

While I couldn't afford new art from Melanie Weidner at this time, I did order several prints from her collection, which you can start to view at the previous link and here. Some prints that I ordered are "Deep Breath," "Opening," "At Home," "Gathering Strength," and "Between Us." I also got the prints set of "The Passion of the Earth" series.

If I were flush with millions, I'd have a house full from top to bottom of art. I really love watercolors best of all, but any really beautiful piece--a collage, an oil painting, a sculpture, etc--they can really make me just feel like bursting. And sometimes light me up when I feel dark. Or give me hope on a hard day.

I have several more fairy/fantasy/angel pieces, but I don't have them all scanned/photographed. I also have three silly-fun Monster By Mail small pieces by Len Peralta (who started doing these to raise money for his latest child's birth, and she was born days ago!) You can see Len creating my "Botticelli's Birth of Venus Zombie" and my "Tormented Female Novelist Alien at South Beach Cafe" at YouTube. The latter features a fun, bouncy tune. Len also did my Halloween present to my husband--a sort of vampiric alter-hubby.

If you want to buy something really special for a loved one, consider art. You support an artist and you get something gorgeous. Win/Win. Even if all you can buy is a $15 print, it's a lovely thing. And some artists, like Sara Butcher, are doing philanthropic stuff for the holidays. (Sara is giving $1 from each bookmark sold to the homeless.My angel painting is offered in bookmark form, and I ordered some. Also, a gorgeous one called "Blues of Winter" is a terrific choice. Cool and graceful for the season.)


What do you collect that makes you happy and feel a little "bigger" inside?

Behold: The Princess as the Years Roll By

In case any of y'all wonder what I look like.

I hate taking pics. Even when I was a normal weight teen I hated it, cause, basically, I have tiny eyes and no cheekbones and tetracycline stained teeth from my multiple bouts of illnesses as a child, during my formative teeth years. Above is a snapshot my BIL took of me and my darling boo at our wedding, where I didn't allow a pro photographer, even having to argue about it with my beloved mom who wanted one. That was in 1983 and I weighed 154 lbs and wore a size 14/16. Hubby, as you can see, was the handsomest groom ever. (I am biased and I admit it. But he's dang cute--then and now!)

Probably one of my fave snapshots of me is below. I was 29 and I loved that hairdo and color. My hair was dyed jet black, though I'm too old for it now, dang. (I may go really darker, close to black, next time. To hell with the rules.) I weighed about 180, so my face was much slimmer, not to mention I actually had a jawline (still no cheekbones--I envy people with cheekbones):


I still have those earrings that my sister gave me. LOVE em!


This is a pic from August of 2000, when one of my online pals (we met online in 1996) visited Miami and we went out to dinner in a Coral Gables restaurant. I had come from visiting my mom, who was in the hospital (and it was my sister's turn to spend the night with her). I weighed about 260 there. My friend's visit lifted my spirits:



Now, at 47, I'm not digging the effects of time and gravity. The camera makes me cringe. Eh. Could be worse. This is a pic of me taken last week:

Hubby took the above pic at a museum exhibit using his camera phone. I had asked him to bring the digital cam to get good shots of the masterworks, but they didn't allow flash, and the camera battery went kaput, anyway. I was very happy. I love art and I love hubby and I love my sister, and so it was a day when I felt very loved and very full of life, even if I had slept little and my face was puffy from salt retention. I was about 278 there, and 2 lbs of that was water retention.

This is my handsome groom today:



He's lost about 30-35 lbs in the last couple years, and now I want to slim down and look hotter for my snooky. We'll celebrate our 25th anniversary next June. By then, I'd love to fit into a much smaller dress size for our big celebratory bash.

So, did I look anything like what you expected?

~~~

Please Pray for Oinkstop

Things are tough for our fellow fatfighter. She had a HUGE loss this week, but it came from sorrow, and no one wants that sort of grief.

If you believe in the power of prayer, please add your voice.

Scale Tale: Ticking Slightly Downwards, even with Cuban feast digesting in my gut

Hello, all. Yeah, I've been scarce. But I did want to come and report for the challenge.

Not the most exciting report. Mr Tanita says:

275.2

That's a loss of 0.4 pounds. Almost half a pound. I'll take it!

My face is breaking out, which may mean company's coming. We'll see. But I had some good days, some iffy days. Yesterday, after visiting a relative at the hospital, my sister and I went for Cuban food. I had a points-accumulating feast of:

1 tamale (Cuban style, with onions on a leaf)
1 cup garbanzo soup (oh, how I adore garbanzo soup) into which I dumped about a third of a cup of white rice to thicken
1 large slice of toston (fried green plantain) with salt
5 ounces or so of masitas de puerco con mojo(fried pork chunks with garlic-sour orange-olive oil sauce)
2/3 cup of congri (rice cooked together with black beans, aka 'moros y cristianos')
and 1 serving of coconut flan


Yes, it was delicious and comforting and my sister and I reveled.

I'd had a breakfast of about 400 cals, and then this calorie-rich lunch. So, dinner was a scoop of protein powder mixed with water and some coconut water (to balance the salty restaurant meal a tad).

I don't regret it, btw. I am unrepentant.

But today, I'm being very, very good.

Hi to all my blogging fatfighters. I'm praying for all of us to end the year at a lovely deficit. The only time we wanna have a deficit, huh? :)

Weil, Taubes, Oz: The Diet Discussion and The Princess' Philosophy on Food

I probably agree most with Dr. Weil on this one. Gary Taubes ideas about fat, though, are intriguing. It's interesting that even Dr. Oz admits he eats mostly low-carb in this clip.

My mom and dad had no heart disease, had very different body types, different food preferences, and both lived to their 80's. My mother was not much of a meat-eater. She ate small servings of meat, and larger servings of starchy veggies (plantains, cassava, boniato, malanga, potato.) She loved her dairy: especially milk (whole fat) and ice cream. She loved fruits and fruit juices. And soups (usually some sort of legume.) My father loved his rice and meat and eggs and whole milk. Every day, we had whole milk with breakfast, and often with a snack late in the afternoon or at night. Butter and olive oil were our main fats, although mom used lard when I was a kid to fry stuff. Lard was later exchanged for corn oil. Our only salad dressing was olive oil and vinegar. White cheese was often consumed (Cuban thing).

But mom and dad were cod liver oil afficionados. All of us got it. It was mom's cure-all. Cod liver oil. My dad consumed huge quantities of the stuff.

With all the hoopla about fish oils now, well, makes one wonder if that was mighty helpful in keeping their hearts normal.

I wish I could still take fish oils, but my allergy to seafood makes me leery. I'm really afraid I'll end up in the E.R.

As far as my food philosophy, here it is, and I hope I do not offend any of you. This is just how I see it, and I respect your right to disagree and hold a totally different philosophy:

I believe we are meant to eat the wide spectrum. I believe this for religious reasons, first and foremost--ie, I'm a Christian, and I believe humans are created, not genetic accidents--but also because of my reading on the subject. And because I tend to shy away from food extremism. Whether it's the raw food recruiters or the no-carbs proselytizers or the no fat fanatics or the vegan venerators.

I believe we were created to consume fruits/veggies/herbs/nuts in abundance, yes, as depicted in Genesis.

I have given you every plant with seeds on the face of the earth and every tree that has fruit with seeds. This will
be your food. Genesis 1:29

But whatever and wherever Eden was, it's not here and now. Our foreparents were driven forth, barred from the ease and healthfulness and abundance of Paradise, and our diet was altered by God to suit a changed world and our changed beings:

Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field Genesis 3:18

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things. Genesis 9:3

And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land. Genesis 45:18

And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat. Genesis 18:8

There's even a warning that, well, may apply to our age:

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils ... commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. -- 1 Timothy 4:1-3

I'll let the theologians wrangle that out. But it's worth keeping in mind when extremist diets are touted.

Still, back to my general philosophy: What is good and wholesome out there, given to us from the earth and its creatures, by sanction of God, is okay to eat AS LONG AS IT AGREES WITH OUR BODIES. Some of us have special chronic conditions that disallow an all-inclusive diet (say, diabetics or people with celiac disease or allergies).

Wholesome being the key word.

Yet, the way we tend to purchase it in the grocery store or restaurants can be mighty different from how it comes from nature, nutritionally sound. Whole foods, I believe, give us what our bodies need. Over-processed foods with additives can give us things we really don't want. We weren't created to consume mass quantities of salt, sugar, corn syrup, preservatives, etc. (I consume processed products for convenience's sake, but I do try to make sure what I eat includes MOSTLY wholesome, whole grain, organic, minimally processed foods. I do have special, chronic conditions, and I have to adapt, but I try to make sure I eat something raw with every meal and I've mostly--though not altogether--eliminated sugar and white flour and trans fats and minimized the consumption of foods with a gazillion chemicals with freaky names. Although, sorry, I do use sucralose in place of sugar. It's fakey, but we insulin resistant folks have to make concessions.)

Healthy animal flesh is also given to us to eat by the Creator, and by healthy or wholesome I mean creatures allowed to grow and move in a mostly normal animal manner (not penned up and unable to move more than mere inches), and who eat in a natural way (as opposed to being fed a lot of garbage), breathe fresh air, drink clean water, breed, nurture young, etc. I believe this is also wholesome to the human body. Animals stressed by overcrowding, abusive conditions, poor feed, excessive hormones and chemicals and such, I do not believe are wholesome to the human body.

(BTW, I'm not a vegetarian, but often eat vegetarian days. I just don't believe it's a moral issue, certainly not for me. If God says I can eat meat, hey, sorry, but you won't convince me otherwise. But if I choose not to eat meat--for whatever reason, health or political or conscience--then God's cool with that, too. We don't have to eat just one way any more than we have to pray just one way or sing the same song in worship or wear the same outfits everyone else does in church. I prefer beans and cheese to, say, steak and ribs. And I wish I could eat seafood, but, hey, allergic. )

In any case, the discussions provoked by Taubes in the past few years have been beneficial, I believe, to the whole diet world. And I have started to read his book,which is dense reading, I can tell you.

I hope the discussion continues, with input from scientists and dietitians and other persons, because folks like me and you really want good information, not bad science or bad anecdotal evidence or crazy theories. We just eant to eat well.

And sometimes, it's about experimenting. Seeing what works for each of us, since we're not all the same.

November is National Novel Writing Month...And The Princess Must Write

I will likely be scarce-ish for the next 30 days. I'm signed up for NaNoWriMo--50K words in 30 days!--so I gotta keep the fingers and brain for the fiction, not so much for the blogging.

I will try to keep in touch with my fatfighting pals via blog comments and keep posting on my progress and problems, but, like I said, I may skip days and be quieter than usual.

I really need to finish this novel, and NaNo is a good support tool. And maybe I'll be so busy creating, I'll not be tempted to nosh on "food porn" as Scale Junkie calls it. :)

Thanks for understanding!

Oh, and if you haven't seen Scale Junkie's posts about a year-long challenge for 2008, head on over there and see if this is for you. Anyone who wants support and kicks in the keister (me, me, me) and has a lot of weight to lose (me, me, me) should check it out.

Scale Tale: No Change

After a wobbly week of some okay days and some bad days, Mr Tanita reported:

275.6

No change. Holding pattern. Maintaining.

This makes a total loss of 6.8 lbs since the Tales from the Scales challenge began. I get the right to display this:



This is not bad, maintaining. I am feeling pretty calm and okay about it. I had a salty soup at lunch and some salty almonds at night yesterday--let's not even go into the chocolate mousse that was to die for--and I was worried the salt bloat and dessert indulgence might mess things up. But the papaya and milk and apple--the potassium in those--maybe helped.

Next week, unless perimenopause wackiness ensues, should be my PMS time. So, I better enjoy the stability of this weigh in.

Five Days? Man, Time Flies! Especially When You're Stuffing Your Face With Pizza and Italian Foods

Hubby has been taking it easy at home with me all weekend and today. Tomorrow, we're gonna go, weather permitting, to see the special exhibit of Goya art at the Freedom Tower in Miami. I loves me some my art!

So, really, man, I've been a bad Princess about posting. Life intruded. (And I'm not alone. Teale's life intruded, too.)

On the eating front: There must be a bug going around that got me and Lyn and Zanitta--thanks for checking on me, girl!--cause I wasn't so great Friday or Sunday. Friday, I had one of my trigger foods and I binged. Pizza! Italian! Same deal Sunday.

Here's what I had, and why I was a doubly bad Princess:

Friday--the band came over for music practice (hubby is a very, very good drummer and an okay bass player. He plays for the church band.) We ordered pizza for the hungry musicians, and I had THREE, yes, THREE slices. Well, 2 and 2/3, since I left some of the third on the plate. I had two servings of salad. I had two cups of pasta e fagiole soup with sprinkled parmesan on top. It was a cheesetravaganza of calories. And then I topped it off with a cup of Cherries Cordial frozen yogurt with 6 maraschino cherries. Eek.

Yes, that was a bona fide binge.

Saturday I was fine. Whew.

Sunday I had lasagna and chicken parmigiana and some salad with balsamic vinaigrette. And I had three cookies. And more frozen yogurt. Strawberry this time. But this time, half a cup, not a whole cup. No maraschino cherries.

Today, I've been fine.

Now, the scale isn't going down, but, thankfully, it hasn't gone UP. I was at 275.4 when I weighed in today. Just .2 lbs less than last Wednesday.

Thing is, even these deviations were not the all-out, insane, gluttonously sinful binges of the past.

No, really. I would have had four or five slices of pizza and a whole bunch of greasy garlic rolls and some cake or some other big-calorie sweet treat. I would have gorged on dressing, instead of measuring out and using lemon juice to expand. The fact that in neither case--Friday or Sunday--did I eat as much as I would have in the past or as much as I wanted to THOSE DAYS (yes, I wanted another slice of pizza. Yes, I wanted more lasagna. Yes, I wanted garlic rolls. Yes, I wanted tiramisu or chocolate cake or pie), is a small, but noticeable change. I simply did not let go. I still held SOME control.

I also made up for it with the next meal. I had the Pizza Splurge for lunch. For dinner, I kept to cereal with fruit.

On Sunday, I had just some crispbread crackers with light cheese and an apple for supper to make up for the cheesy Italian feastlet.

I consider those important to note. I didn't lose ALL control. :)

Today, I have some nice chicken breast with spinach and low-fat cheese in a high-fiber wrap ready for lunch. I have some lovely honeycrisp apples to satisfy a need to chew. I have cantaloupe for dessert.


Oh, and I tried this sugarless lemon curd that is so delicious with some almond butter on whole grain toast. It's like having a lemon tart, without the saturated fat or sugar. It's one of my new fave treats. It's very nice with some Almond Breeze (I love the chocolate, and I use the vanilla for smoothies with chocolate protein powder.)


But Zanitta and Chubby Chick are so right. Just having one day of being in control, good, sane about food is so satisfying. Especially after a couple not-so-great days.

I want to be better in the next few days, cause the PMS time will be here soon when hunger makes me a crazy fool. I need to habituate care in selection and ingestion so I'm not all whack come the bloaty heralds of the Red Guest.

Scale Tale: Rehydrated After Flu, Reclaimed Lost Ground, and Hunger

I wrote last week, with my very cool post-day-of-diarrhea weigh-in of 272.6: "I figure I'm a little low on fluid, so once I rehydrate, that number's gonna bounce up."

It did. The next day it was up. Rehydration showed up fast, then I stabilized at 275.6 or so. Then I gained with Saturday's bad choices, and Sunday and Monday's excess calories (though better choices).

But today is weigh-in day, and I ate well yesterday, if not totally at my diet caloric level. I went 5 points over my top allowance.

But it's not PMS week, so the bloat's not bad. Mr. Tanita Says:

275.6

That was my post-flu stabilization weight, which means I regained some ground lost over the Sat-thru-Monday, but I didn't really lose from where I was post-stomach flu.

I hope the hunger issue is calming down, whatever its cause. (I didn't feel as freaky mad growly hungry yesterday). I did drink my water before meals. I did have veggie juice before meals. I did write down every morsel and made myself accountable. I tried a new recipe (see below, the "cookie" one) to quell that hunger.

Today, I'm gonna get back on the affirmations wagon. I'd sort of slipped up after using it for a while (retraining my mental thoughts about healthy eating and portion control). Time to get that tool back in action.

How did you do with this week's weigh-in? Any special tools get you through tough spots? I've used water, gum, veggie juice, protein cookies. I think it kept me from going totally out of control. I really do.
~~
EDITED TO ADD: LizzyTish asked about the protein cookie and my veggie juice. Thought I'd answer HERE instead of in the comments: Lizzy, the recipe for the protein cookie is in yesterday's post below. Please check it out. As far as what I mean by veggie juice: I have two health food juice places nearby (this is an area with a lot of weight conscious rich folks --not me, mind you, just farther north and east of here), and I get fresh-squeezed veggie blends from both. They'll make it to order, or you get one of their specialties. I get the green veggie blends (parsley, cucumber, spinach, celery, lime juice, etc). They're fresh, full of enzymes, and I like the flavor. It's sort of like a green gazpacho drink. :) (I adore gazpacho!) I also like the fresh V-6 version that one makes, it has tomato and beets along with the green veggies. Fewer calories than fruit juice, easy on the stomach, and flavorful. Sort of like cold soup, really.

Oh, and if you have a juicer, you can easily make your own blend to taste.

Hope that answers your questions.