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Monday, January 19, 2009

Facing Down Another Funk

Sorry, y'all. I am trying hard here to face up to and battle another slide into the blue. Ironically, it was one year ago this month that I came out of a roughly 5 year long depression. I couldn't believe how good it felt to feel normal. It made it possible for me to start Pilates with some vim and hope.

This month, I'm feeling that flatness come again. Damn.

My head feels like it's full of fog, my joy has taken a dive, and I find it hard to do simple grooming. (I didn't wash my hair for 8 days just cause the prospect of blow-drying it was daunting.) Perhaps the weeks of allergies and asthma are the cause, and it's not really so much a clinical depression looming, but just my body stressed by illness. Could be. I hope. That means I'll return to normal soon.

I have no desire to do anything, not even blog, to be honest. I just want to go sleep--which is not good.

So, I went by the pool that's a block away to find out about water aerobics, hoping that adding more exercise (though I don't wanna) will help with the mood thing. Of course, it was closed. Holiday. Stupid me. :-/

Maybe I'll drop by tomorrow. I don't want to just sink into another dark epoch. Had enough of that.

But really, just typing this is making me feel tired.

Sucks.

6 comments:

Linda said...

Sorry to hear your down in the dumps. I have been emotionally high and low this week. Yesterday morning I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to work out, didn't want to leave the house...

I finally just got in the shower and got dressed. Then immersed myself into conversation with my husband and put my focus on something constructive (a puzzle). Seemed to help. By the end of the evening I was not so gloomy.

I hope whatever you're going through passes soon!!

Kimberly said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I remember those days.

I made some rules for myself to fight this in my own life.

1. I never go more than 2 days without getting out and doing something. This requires taking a shower and making myself presentable for the world so it helps with the grooming. And it gets me out into the fresh air and rejuvenates me.

2. I never sleep during the day. If I need more sleep I go to bed early and get it then.

I've had much less problems with depression since I started doing those 2 simple things.

Katschi (Karen) said...

I'm sorry to hear of your blues.
I'm well acquainted myself.
Try your best to at least shower. Let your hair air dry if it's too much.
Just feeling clean may help, yes?
I know I avoid grooming too when I feel the slide coming on.
I always want to do the opposite of what would actually help to feel better...it's a tricky disease.
Try very hard to do the opposite, ok?

Katschi (Karen) said...

Also, in light of reading this THANK YOU for visiting & commenting on my blog! Now I know the effort it took you & I very much appreciate it!
{{{HUGS}}}

SeaShore said...

I'm sorry you are feeling blue. I wouldn't be surprised if it was brought on by being ill recently, whether it's depression or not.

Try not to stress yourself more by worrying about what you can't do right now. Try to focus on your victories, however small.

Take care.

Heather said...

I know the feeling!!! hang in there, and know that Im here to support you! you have been fantastic in providing uplifting comments to me, so thanks!