I am clearly still having those balance issues. I can't seem to focus on ONE thing, yet, and still do another.
So, wow, 22 days since my last post. Dang.
This quote from Diet Blog is fitting right now:
We are generally very adept at starting exercise and programs and dietary regimes... and we pretty much suck at sticking to it.
--from the entry "How to Stay on the Wagon: For Good"
Anyway, a recap--and it seems like 10 is the number of the day:
1. Not losing weight. In fact, whether it's fat or water retention--not sure in this perimenopausal stage of my life when my period shows up when it feels like--I was at 287.5 yesterday. Today, 286.5. So, clearly, backsliding there.
2. Attacking the lack of motivation. I hauled out my diet books and that's what allowed me to stay at about 2100 calories yesterday (rather than eating my usual 3500 when I'm not vigilant). That may account for the loss since yesterday. Or maybe I just peed a lot. Hard to know. This meant that I got bupkiss written on the novel yesterday and only mild editing done on my editing gigs. See what I mean about not balancing?
I've got the diet books laid out on the couch, so that if I sit for tea or coffee or a snack, I can reach out and read something that will keep me from bingeing.
3. The food journal. Yep. I started doing it again. That's how I know what I ate yesterday points (41.5) and calorie wise (2100). I ordered up some actual food diaries from amazon.com, but meanwhile, I'm just using a little notebook.
3. The spiritual side of things. I actually had not been praying about the fat and fitness issues. Hey, when you got war and people losing jobs and famines and floods and hurricanes, not to mention sick friends or friends undergoing surgery or family members with issues, or a house that needs repairs, it's easy to put diet on the backburner. But as of yesterday, I decided that got moved up in the line. Yes, other things get priority (like world peace and cures for diseases and my family), but it's moved up a lot. I need to find my copy of THE PRAYER DIET (One of those books I bought a while ago and never really read. Maybe it's a good time now to read it.)
4. spreadsheets, anyone. Okay, it sounds totally geeky-dorky, but I'm using it as an excuse to LEARN to use a spreadsheet, which I'm totally ignorant about. Yes, I feel so stupid not knowing how to use a spreadsheet in this era of Excel and Google charting. I found one system over at THE DIET SPREADSHEET. I have no clue how to do it properly, but I like the idea and I figure the chart--as long as it's moving generally downwards--would be a motivational tool. And a nice reminder of achievement (Yes, let us be POSITIVE, shall we?)
If anyone is a spreadsheet whiz and has posted on this, do let me know and give me a url so I can see how you did it. Thanks.
5. The dietitian. I'm thinking of revisiting a dietitian I had several appointments with three years ago. If nothing else, it allows me to vent to someone weekly who has expertise on this losing weight stuff.
6. May rejoin WW. I'm not terribly good with WW. I've done it several times since 1998. I always lost some (once, 30 pounds), but it was hard for me to keep up since I have a "rolling" schedule. That is, one week I'll be up in the mornings. One in the afternoons. Another in the evenings. I never sleep and get up at the same time. So, committing to, say, a Tuesday 9 am class is tough if I may be sound asleep when the next 9 am on a Tuesday rolls around. Then again, I'd love to have a normal schedule. My body's whack rhythms war with my desires. As usual.
7. Motivational cds. I ordered up 100 bucks worth of diet and motivational audiobooks. I figure I've got 30 minutes in the bathroom I can get someone telling me encouraging and informational stuff. Why not? I can alternate with my current theological and writing craft audiotapes.
8. I've looked into some residential weight loss programs. The big obstacles are my chemical sensitivities (traveling is always risky, cause where I stay may cause me to explode internally, ie, immune system) and the cost. Yowza. Most are more than 3K a week. One local one--safer in terms of my being able to come home if sleeping there gets my system in an uproar--is more than 4K a week. And to glean the best results, you really need to stay 2 weeks to a month at these places. We're talking round $20,000 for a month. (Excuse me while I pass out.) For that, I could pay for surgery!
9. Speaking of bariatric surgery: I don't want surgery yet. I'm still thinking LAST RESORT. I want no more holes poked in me and parts cut out of me. I'm not ready...yet. I don't discount it, but it's not on the forefront, even if it is a highly successful--the only truly effective obesity treatment out there right now. So, the lap band is down the list, but not out of it. (Feel free to comment on that if you wish.) Basically, I wanna give myself one more year. If I'm still struggling and struggling and struggling, then I'll start the process to try and get approval on that. One year. It sounds like a long time, but really, how fast it goes. I can barely believe 2007 is more tha half over.
10. Still haven't set up an appointment with a psych regarding the depression. I realized it yesterday, cause I was starting to get the strange sort of "flat" feeling that I tend to get right before I fall ito the pit. I don't want to take drugs for it, which is why I know I'm lollygagging. Sigh.
~~
One thing that THIN FOR LIE (the diet book that assesses how the master losers--those who lost weight and KEPT it off) says is that most failed at dieting many times before finally succeeding. That's the sort of thing that gives me hope. Well, that and the fact that I'm still not at my highest weight and I'm not up to my original blogging start weight. Better to get on the wagon again before all the damage is redone.
So, here I go again. Maybe not on my own, like the Whitesnake song says, but it always comes down to, first and foremost, me.
But that whole multi-tasking thing, I really need to find the balance. I'm guessing the most productive folks find that balance.
I need to structure my days to fit in:
1. hygiene stuff (showering, shaving, blow-drying, etc)
2. meals and meal planning and cooking
3. exercise
4. house cleaning and maintenance
5. writing
6. editing
7. reading (a necessary thing for writers/editors)
8. family stuff (including, yes, nookie)
9. taking care of mail/bills
10.errands outside of the house, like groceries and car repairs and banking and what-not.
Can we get the physicists to give us 36 hours days? I mean, how hard could it be moving the Earth just scosh away from the sun? And then we'd have global cooling instead of global warming. Yes, works for me. Definitely.
Here's to hope and new starts! (and planetary repositioning.)
~
Some of the Books on My Couch and CDs I ordered:
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