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Monday, February 9, 2009

A New Week Battling an Old Problem

Well, something is off in my body.

I'm glad I have an appointment with the endocrinologist in 3 weeks, just in case it's that. But who knows. When one has multiple chronic issues, it can be an assortment of causes for fatigue.

And I've been really fatigued. I've been sleeping between 12 and 14 hours. I haven't washed my hair in 8 days cause blow-drying it feels beyond me. Always a sign that, whether a temporary hitch in the chemicals or time for a reassessment of meds, something's up. Or down. I normally don't have dark circles under my eyes (ie, no more than normal coloration), but I look ashen and my circles are purpley-grey. I have no pep.

I feel like it's work to keep myself upright.

I had promised my trainer I'd do at least 10 minutes of aerobic activity per week. I totally never got into it last week. I decided to push myself through the 10 minutes before today's session. I put on my heart monitor (to make sure I was in range) and I just marched/walked in place until I could keep my heart in the 130's bpm.

It's pathetic that it took so much self-talk and mental prep to do TEN FRICKEN MINUTES of THR aerobic activity.

But, fine, it's done.

In a couple hours, I have my Pilates. And it's been hard getting through that since I got sick. I just have to push mentally and physically. I so want to get the vim and joy back, ya know?

Because I felt so lethargic, no, I didn't do my shopping or my cooking. I did make better choices for dinner and lunch a couple times, less ideal others. In the end, though, even with two binge days last week (Wednesday and Thursday, and yes, it was BAD), I ended up being able to change the weight stat and finally be lower again than January 1. (I had been running HIGHER than my year-start weight.)

I so envy people who have lovely energy and good health and wake up feeling that revving engine. I'm sputtering. Hate that.

Whether it's the Metabolic Syndrome, the hormonal issues of middle-age, the Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, or something else, it truly sucks feeling tired all the time and having no interest in enjoying the beautiful Miami winter weather. Sucks.

But, one hour at a time. I made it through the 10 minutes of marching, I'll make it through Pilates, and, with enough mental rah-rahing, I may make it to the grocery store before I doze off.

Hope liveth in my pooped body.



HopeFool said...

It sounds like I have just as much trouble exercising as you do. I have been wondering if it is a health thing sucking my energy, or if the lack of exercise is the problem is the first place. I have a goal for today of 20 minutes - 10 of them aerobic.
I think you've motivated me to actually do them this time.

Heather said...

that sounds horrible! kind of like when I had mono - it was just so exhausting to do anything. hang in there and I hope everything is ok!

Meg said...

I'm so sorry that things are so tough! I really admire that even feeling as sick and drained as you do you managed to get yourself to exercise. I hope you get some answers soon, and some help getting your body back in line.