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I HAVE MOVED! My main blog as of Sept of 2010 is TWO YEARS TO HAPPY WEIGHT AFTER. Visit me there. My post links in the updates below will link up to the new blog. THANKS for reading!

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Regain, Recommitment, and Retracing Steps to Better Habits--aka/WHERE IS MY FIRE?


The news is not good. But, hey, I knew it was coming for weigh-in day.

I've never been big on consistency when it comes to things like diet and exercise. I was always one of those, "Oh, let me go on a diet," then last no more usually than two days or two weeks or, at most, two months. Then, blam, back to old habits.

Well, I've managed to exercise regularly for nearly six months now. But the food consistency is eluding me. And for dieters, that is the NUMBER ONE issue. If the food isn't controlled, exercise away, but the loss will be negligible to nil. Eat enough, and exercising can't stop regain. We've seen that even on The Biggest Loser. It's the calories, stupid. :)

Well, I got on the scale after a month plus of just being a slacker. The result: 276.4.

Holy crap. I regained like 5 pounds. In a month. I wasn't even all-out bingeing. Just not vigilant.

Shit.

Okay, enough of the potty mou--er, keyboard.

I wish I could find the internal button one pushes to get to that BLAM moment that makes on commit intensely. I haven't. So, I've been semi-committed, half-heartedly in the fatfighting game.

And it shows. While I don't LOOK bigger, and in fact, look smaller due to the exercising, I am still firmly stuck in the 270's, which is making me a crazy woman. Really, I'm so sick of being here.

So, why don't I get out of here in the downward trajectory?

Cause I am not on fire. It's all about having this ongoing flame inside that ignites whatever is in a person that makes them consistently do something--be it pursue a career, keep a marriage going, train for a marathon, etc.

This week, I'm gonna be all about rescheduling the activities that got me down from 299 to begin with, cause these activities have gone by the wayside:

1. getting fresh groceries
2. preparing meals at home instead of getting take-out
3. keeping a food journal
4. drinking lots of water
5. praying about my weight journey

Every single one of those has gone kaput one by one over the last couple of months. And the results show it.

What works, works. When you stop working it, it stops working, and regain results.

The same sort of slack happened to Oprah:

In Oprah's case, she admits to stopping her exercise sessions, her meditations and going back to eating higher calorie foods.

Oprah regained 40 pounds.

I'm guessing the same thing happened to Kirstie Alley--stopped the Jenny Craig regimen, started adding her own comfort foods, gave up the working out, vigilance diminishes bit by bit until, what, all gone. She was looking big again this past summer. I have no idea if she's up or down as of this post. But she probably has regained as much more pounds than Oprah.

I had a setback when my organic grocer closed their business (temporarily, I hope, but who knows with this economy). I sort of just started doing delivery and takeout--which means DANGER.

So, that has to stop. Tomorrow, I have to go shopping (which I hate) and get the produce I need to make better food choices.

I have to start making meals again, the way I was when I was losing and holding on. I can control the ingredients at home. I can't in a restaurant.

I've totally slacked on water. I have actually had says when I had NO WATER AT ALL. This is bad. It's too easy to confuse thirst with hunger. Plus, not enough water contributes to bloat and makes number twos uncomfy. Ya know what I mean?

I do notice that when one domino goes, like a food journal (which is a tuchis-painer, but so necessary for me, anyway, to be accountable and aware), the others follow. It's like this cord connecting all the good strategies, and if one part topples, the pull on the others is nearly irresistible. Boom. Boom. Boom. All down.

Weight up.

I have had the BECK FOR LIFE book lying around for weeks. I was supposed to review it for amazon (got it free). So, I want to start into that and apply the system. I don't FEEL like it. I FEEL like napping rather than working out. I FEEL like shoving a pizza in my face instead of an egg white veggie omelette. But we obese folks don't do well following our feelings. They are often self-destructive.

So, here I go again. Five pounds up.

My mood is not dark. It's just a big sigh of frustration that I didn't nip this closer to the bud. So much easier catching 2 pounds than 5, right?

I really need to get my fire mojo back. Where is it? Where did it go? How do I find it again?

Ah, well. The quest starts again this week.

I'm getting to the point of trying the Portion Doctor's plates.
Although, really, how overpriced are those? And kinda homely.

Let me go find my food journal. It's buried under a pile of unfolded laundry, I think?

10 comments:

Katschi said...

Mirtika? Is that your name? Wow if it is, I love that!
What a great post...I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. We've ALL been here, haven't we?
I found my fire late this year all because of The Boy & I'm grateful for it. I've never experienced such easy weight loss before. It's a relief.
I agree with you about the eating. According to bodybuilders, eating is 80% of the game. That's a HUGE chunk of the puzzle. You don't need to buy special plates! Pick a protein & fill up the rest with fruits & veggies. Eat some oatmeal in the morning. Keep it simple. Throw out the processed junk. "They" add all those hidden sugars & additives to keep us addicted to their sh*t. Really, they do.
I want you to succeed at this, Princess! I want you to have the most freakin successful year ever!!!! Now go get the matches & light 'er up, baby!!!

SeaShore said...

I've heard other people talk about fake it 'til you make it when it comes to recapturing the fire.

I think the fire comes and goes and we just have to ride out the lows and not give in/up at those times.

Like Katschi says, we've all been there. Possibly we will be again. We learn a little bit more every time though, right?

Those are cute plates!

Kimberly said...

I did fake it until I could make it and eventually it did spark the fire in me to keep going and to make real, lasting changes in my lifestyle. If it isn't in your heart, let your brain take over and just go on autopilot for a while to do what you know you need to do each day - eat right, drink water, journal, exercise, etc.

Ria said...

I've read your blog for a while (love the theme, by the way), but I haven't commented before.

I can really relate to this post. . . . I also started out at around 300 lbs (currently around 265). The thing is, I had gotten down to 230 in 2006, and gained it all back within a year. The "domino effect" really got me . . . just as you describe, I stopped journaling and the rest of my plan soon crumbled.

Good for you for getting on the scale, facing the music and getting back on track with just 5 lbs to account for!

Princess Dieter said...

Thank you all so much for stopping by and commenting. And Ria, that had to hurt to get THAT low--wow, 70 lbs, I've NEVER EVER lost more than 30 lbs at a go--and then see it come back. Girl!

The P

Bunny Trails said...

I could have written your post (although nowhere near as eloquently) myself! We've all been there. It's not fair that we can't let our guard down for one moment, but we can't. I've been focused on other things for the past month and I've only lost a pound or so (not complaning! It's just not the rate I could be at if I was focused). However, the amazing thing is you know where you slipped up. You are so aware of what you need to change and what happened. While food is important, knowledge and mindset is a HUGE part of the battle too! You have that spark in you! You wouldn't have gotten this far w/o it:) You just need to uncover it again!

Darren Ventre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa said...

I'm with ya!! I've slacked. Been depressed. Unmotivated. Eating more carbs than my body needs. But this is a time of renewal! I hope we can all recommit to our own health.

justjuliebean said...

A tuchis-painer? I guess that's a good description for a food journal. Just a little warning, and one of the reasons I weigh every day. If I eat sushi, my weight goes up around 3-4 pounds (salty water retaining goodness). PMS can be good for at least 5. I'm not sure how common that is, but my weight does fluctuate that much from day to day at times. But you're right, vigilance is key, it's very easy to slack and be right back where you started (I've learned the hard way). good luck!

Lyn said...

Regain is tough. I worked hard and dropped five pounds the first half of December (and I mean WORKED HARD!! Biking daily, counting every calorie). And in less than one week of NOT biking and slacking on the eating, all five pounds is back. Ugh. But it'll come back off. So will yours.