Responding to a Pilates Query

Meg asked in a comment on a previous post:

I've always wanted to try Pilates, but I'm super self conscious about trying new classes at the gym. How is it?

First off, from scanning your blog, it looks to me like you are at normal weight and pretty fit (ie, you run and exercise, etc). So, you have nothing to feel self-conscious about...AT ALL!!! Go try a class. Make sure it's taught by a certified Pilates teacher (not just someone who's done it and decided to up and teach it). Form, focus, and breathing matter in Pilates, so you want someone who knows how to do it right and teach it properly, who will correct your form during the length of the class.

Now, back to the self-conscious thing: Girl, I started Pilates weighing 272 pounds and having been a couch potato for years and years. I didn't even know if I COULD do it, much less worry about how dumbass I'd look trying to do it. :)

I've since REGAINED some weight I lost. Last week, I was doing Pilates at 282. I did it yesterday at 278.8. And on the reformer next to me was a model with impossibly long and slender limbs and apparently a 0.5% body fat.

I know about self-conscious.

Add to that that I'm the only obese person doing Pilates at the place where I train. I'm certainly the only MORBIDLY obese person there.

Still, I've been doing it for nearly nine months and I feel more flexible, stronger, my arms and legs have better shape, I can do my activities with more ease (ie, groceries, crouching, reaching), and for a very fat 49 year old woman who was nearly an invalid in the 20th century, I am happy to report this. And even having regained some weight, I look slimmer than when I started. I feel denser, firmer. And my acanthosis got better, so that may be just the exercising after NOT exercising for so long. I was used to being ill with severe respiratory infections two to five times a year. Since I started working out, I got sick ONCE.

Honestly, if I can do it, just about anyone can. And I do qualify with "just about", because I do understand that being significantly larger than I am, 350 or 400 or 500 pounds, has a huge impact on what you can do. I chose this form of exercise particularly because of damage I have to my joints from being fat. It isn't easy on the ankles and knees and hips. Pilates is very joint-friendly.

Getting on and off the Reformer, the most famous piece of Pilates equipment, while easier than when I started--when I flopped and flipped about like a mutant giant turtle--is still not the most graceful activity. But when I"m on it, I do my thang! I've done stuff I wouldn't believe I could have done. Heck, I'm able to do one of the exercises that includes the position to the left on the Cadillac, even while morbidly obese.

I think all of us with fat issues, body image issues find it hard wearing tight workout clothing (snug clothing being essential for Pilates). I know for me, it was really hard. And it was hard walking into the studio with wall-to-wall mirrors and models and skinny dancers feeling like Shamu with arthritis. But a good teacher and an environment that is accepting and wants to foster health makes up for a lot of self-consciousness.

The fact that I"ve stuck to it, 3x a week, hour sessions, for nearly 9 months says something. I've never stuck to exercise this long. NEVER. And I've swallowed my discomfort with being seen in tight clothes moving about to the point where yesterday, in order to march in place with higher knees, I HELD MY BELLY UP WITH MY HANDS out of the way of my knees. I looked demented. But it helped me move with better form. So, ah, yeah. I can't believe I did that. Hah!

Someone in your much better shape and much slimmer form will do marvelously. You'll see a lovely line emerge in your arms and legs. Your tummy and waist will reform. You'll feel longer and sleeker. You will be happy with the results.

I told my hubby this weekend, "Man, if I weren't covered in all this fat, you could see my rocking ab muscles!"

And you should NOT feel self-conscious. You doubtless look very, very good already. :)

And again, for the fat gals out there who've been afraid, just do it. Save the money, get a couple to three personal sessions first to ground you in the breathing, posture, scooping techniques and to use each of the machines and equipment pieces at least once with your trainer. Then, ask what class they think you should take. It's an investment that is worth it.

Greens and Beans and Another Downward Tick

Oh, good. A scosh better today: 278.6

I much prefer that to the 280's.

Went to Whole Foods last night and got me a lot of greens, some fruit, some meats (pork loin was well-priced and on sale), some ready-to-eat (meatballs, cheese lasagna to split with hubby), some lima bean soup (which I looooove), and Tofu Masala (for my supper tonight). I also have some leftover M'Jadra (lentils and rice with onions and yogurt). So, I have a good amount of food for a few days.

Lovely cold front came in, so it's sweater weather in Miami. I love that. Hope we get lots of cool days before the heat officially sets in.

So much to do in the house, really, that I feel overwhelmed. But I have to just sit down, make a plan, and take it one small step at a time, or I'll get into an ugly state of frustration..which makes me wanna gorge.

Don't wanna gorge.

Pilates in a couple hours, so off I go to start picking out clothes, showering, etc.

I wish you all a healthful Monday and a great work week.

A Small Bit of Progress

Yesterday, I was 282.8.

Today, I'm 279.8. So, I was happy to change the sidebar weight back out of the 280's I'd been in all the week.

Man, I must have been holding some water, huh.

Skip Enviga, Does Squat

Read this if you're a dieter using Enviga.

Another Reason To Get Trim and Fit: Obesity Link To Cancer Stronger

Man, this is scary stuff. If risk of stroke and heart disease and diabetes were all not enough, add the increased risk of cancer to the worries of the obese--like moi.

Yeah, read it and weep:

A new report released yesterday by the World Cancer Research Fund and the American Institute for Cancer Research states that most cancers are preventable.

Poor diet, lack of exercise, obesity and smoking account for the vast majority of cancers; the role of genetic factors is by far overrated.

Indeed, the dramatic impact of obesity on cancer is now increasingly appreciated – one in three cancers may be caused by obesity (or as a result of lifestyle factors that promote obesity). It is therefore perhaps not surprising, that large prospective studies have shown an almost 60% reduction in deaths from cancer with bariatric surgery.

Full post on the study is at Dr. Sharma's blog.

I go in for an endometrial biopsy in three weeks. I think this finding will be weighing on my mind until I get those results.

And for a while after.

It may be what I needed to make a good choice for supper tonight, too.


Have a healthful weekend, folks!

Madagascar 2: Big And Chunky featuring Moto Moto and will.i.am

Someone loves us the way we are, plumpy and chunky.

This song rocks. I can't stop playing it. Hat tip to CC of Journeying to Lose 200 Pounds.

I'm gonna dance with my chunky self.

What's On My Plate and Focusing on A Positive

I had a big breakfast. At, like, mid-afternoon, mind you. I was thinking what I really wanted, and thought, "I really want bacon." Now, I haven't had bacon in a while, but there was some in the fridge that I bought Sunday, cause I was craving bacon then. Only that craving passed, so there it sat.

To go with the three rashers of bacon, pork, not turkey--I used to make turkey, but that Oprah show where it was decided pork was better as it had less sodium and about the same calories--I made a small egg-white frittata with onions, tomatoes, and yellow peppers with a sprinkle of 2% cheddar. It came out nice and light and very veggie. I liked it. I wish I'd added zucchini, which I have some, but I got lazy.

The papaya is nice, btw, and I will finish it after this post with my second cup of coffee made in my spanking new Technivorm, which makes gorgeous coffee. I can actually taste the nuances that you read about in reviews of gourmet coffee, but my old Mr. Coffee and Melitta makers never achieved. Gosh, good. I decided to have the whole wheat Englsh muffin to increase my fiber for satiety. I want this meal to hold me through to dinner with hubby, unless he comes home late, in which case, I'm whipping open one of those light soups (a Campbell's select harvest light).

Three glasses of water, too. I have NOT at all been drinking enough. Maybe one cup a day. I know, bad.

It's not the most healthful breakfast, and all told I had 12 points--about 600 calories. This will require a light "lunch" so that I don't go over 900, 1000 max, between both meals. This will let me have a good number of remaining points/calories for supper and still keep me under 1800.

It's good to be conscious again of what's going in the feeder hole. I've just been totally lax in noticing, noting, jotting, calculating, etc. Which is why the weigh-in was scary. (Well, the sodiumfest which was Wednesday--feta cheese loaded Greed salad with lunch yesterday and the Chinese food at dinner--didn't help, either.)

So, I was sitting and munching down on brekkie, and my hand was on my thigh, and I thought, hmmm. Firm. This time last year, I could not have said that. But after months of Pilates, my thighs have density, not just wobbly fattiness. There's muscle there. And the little muscle I celebrated last year on my bicep is now quite comfortably larger and harder. I gotta say, it's really nice to feel solidity here and there when I touch parts of me. I used to kid that all my muscle tissue had disappeared from years of couch potatohood and bingeing, but I was only half-joking. I had become this soft huge blob. Now, I'm a huge blob with more definition and much more muscle.

Things like sitting up in bed or turning to switch off the alarm FEEL different, cause it's easier to roll up. I got me some abdominals under all that adiposity! Even my forearms are denser. My calves.

I figure I should remind myself that I've worked hard in ONE area, at least, and it has benefits.

I need to visualize daily what benefits can come from doing the hard work in other areas.

I've lost ground. Lots of ground. Ten pounds worth of ground. But the war ain't over.

Be of good cheer today, and never give up.

A Depressing Update...And Clearly, I Haven't Accepted The Hunger Factor

I updated my weigh-in at left, sidebar, and it's not good news.

The lethargy continues. I did see my new endocrinologist on Tuesday, and I need to get to the lab for the blood test. I'm still feeling muffled, damped down, apathetic, though I'm self-talking like mad, trying to get my spirit revved up. And on top of all that, I gotta get my uterus biopsied after getting ultrasound results. Lovely. It's been the year of the medical appointments. Four so far with three docs.

But seeing the increase on the scale is always that little shock to the system, and it doesn't help the mood. I want to feel angry enough to get the mojo back, but all I feel is defeated. I won't wallow too long, but it's the emotion of the moment.

As if I didn't already know, I read an article today, which says what a lot of us already know by trial and error--it's the calories. The rest plays an assisting role--exercise, group support, journals, green tea, supplements--but it's all about the calories. Whether it's via self-control and strategy and planning, or via gastric bypass or via gastric banding or via stomach stapling or via diet pills: The reason people lose the weight is cause they EAT FEWER CALORIES.

The benefit of surgical/medical intervention is that it offers an escape from hunger. Doing it the old-fashioned, low-tech way means you really do have to learn to live with some or a lot of hunger, which, frankly, sucks monkey butt.

Here's an excerpt from "It's Not What You Eat, It's How Much," but you might wanna read the whole thing over at ABC News:

In terms of dieting, community support can be critical but choosing a plan is up to an individual, and the hardest part of losing weight may be accepting the hunger factor.

Past studies have shown that calorie restriction is the biggest determining factor for successful weight loss, even greater than exercise.

"There are those with unrelenting optimism, who think [dieting] is going to get easier," said Marlene Schwartz, deputy director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University. "But if you are eating fewer calories than you are burning, you are going to be hungry."

But the study's findings encourage experimentation, Sacks said, and the flexibility to find the best balance of calorie restriction and satisfaction for individuals.

"The hardest thing, having been born and raised in America, [was that] I thought I was entitled to eat as much as I wanted whenever I wanted and I would stay the same weight," Termini said. "But you can't do that. And it's not healthy."

So, off to see how well I manage the hunger and food choices today. I'm telling myself to be good, to nurture the optimism, to find my inner warrior.

My inner warrior now needs to get my outer wimp over to the kitchen, where a whole papaya sits on the counter, waiting to be prepped for breakfast--yeah, breakfast. I woke up today at 12:30 and I've moped around feeling like I didn't sleep at all. Lack of energy sucks monkey butt, too.

I want to have eggs and toast and papaya and coffee. I have a mango I can have with lunch, which will probably be a light soup (I took the cans out of the pantry last night and put them on the counter, so I wouldn't ignore them.) A tiny bit of conscious effort to remedy the sad upward course of my weight since late last year.

I could do so much better, I know, if I didn't feel this pressing lethargy. I feel like I'm walking through concrete, like my face is this flat, expressionless mask. I wish I could give up feeling sucky for Lent.

Now, off to get this day going. With some hope, some prayer, and a papaya. :)

Have a great Thursday.

And The Bracelet Goes To...

Lee of Fit By Fifty!

I always used to use the wee papers in a sack method. But thanks to other blogs, like Pasta Queen, I learned about Random.org. And boy, is that easier than making paper number or name bits. Heh.

Lee, I'll be emailing you to get your info.

Thanks to all who entered.

Now, I'm off to enjoy my 49th birthday on a beautiful Miami winter day. A cold front moved in last night, and it's clear and cool and lovely. Yay!

Last Chance To Enter Giveaway For Calorie/Points Counting Bracelet

I'm only accepting entries for the giveaway through midnight tonight. I'll announce the winner tomorrow.

So, if you want to enter, follow the rules/directions AT THIS POST FROM FEB 11. I'll only take names from comments on that post.

Note the particulars of the prize, which is the same in look , but not identical in the shade of blue as the photo at right. :)

Thanks.