A Good Dose of Energy, A Nice Bit of Calm--No Food Freaking Yet!

This will be my sixth day of restarting my healthy eating. The scale is pretty static, which is fine. I think I dropped a bit of water weight at first, and now the slower fat-burning should begin. As it should.

I am not eating low-cal, so I don't expect to see pounds MELT away. I am keeping to 1800 cals (more or less, I don't stress if it's 50 or so over or 50 or so under). This has been MAJOR for me, as I have not been able to do these many days of on-plan eating in a long, long time. Mentally, I just got to a place where I could begin again, and here I am.

Hydration is good, but I do think given it's summer-hot here, it could be upped. On training days, I work HARd. On non-training days...meh. But I did burn some cals yesterday after class doing a lot of lifting, bending, pushing, etc, with some housework. I had AMAZING energy despite too little sleep for too many days.

I think if I can just get to bed earlier and get some rest, I'll see the scale move swifter. I've noticed in the past there IS a relation between sleeping long and well and losing faster.

My Pilates trainer took pics of me yesterday. She often compliments my form and another trainer also comments on how I have good form. And they don't add "for a fat person". :)  (I do try hard, given the obstacles of my belly/other-fat.) My main problem is a shoulder hitch (my brother does the same, and I think it's from years of asthma--and asthmatics will understand what I mean about the "trying to breathe posture".)

She wanted to document me yesterday, and I let her take pics to show my hubby.  It was a new and strange thing to see myself in the poses. Of course, like many  obese women, I think of myself as NOT AS BIG as I am when I can't see myself. But the camera doesn't give room for self-delusion. This is part of the reason I take (and post) more pics of myself now. I need to be REAL and SEE what the damage of overeating is.

If you haven't taken "before pics", I encourage you to do so. They won't let you fool yourself if you're so inclined (like so many of us).

When she emails the shots to me, I'll maybe post some. It's tough. I mean, I'm wearing skin-tight capri-leggings and a paper-thin t-shirt. But, if it helps another fatty fatfighter get into the gym or Pilates studio, it'll be worth it. How often do you see a morbidly obese woman doing a teaser move on the Cadillac? Hmm?

Today is my 27th wedding anniversary, so it's unlikely I'll post again (unless hubby takes a nap between activities, and he's so gung-ho over World Cup, I'm lucky to pry him away from the flat screren hahahahah). The World Cup was on in 1982 when we were first dating (the first month of our mad, mad love), so it is notalgic for me to have an anniversary with it.

My appetite feels calmer in the last couple days. I don't feel the raging mad desire to stuff. I hope it continues (but I know that's a wild wish). It's nice to eat 1/3rd of my usual breakfast calories and feel okay. I want to stay low for B and L, cause dinner will be our festive event.

I wish you all a happy Friday and a great weekend. Please treat yourself kindly. Eat beautiful produce. Drink lots of clean water. Hug and kiss your loved ones. And remember that no matter how much space you take up in this world, you are unique and valuable and worthy of love and appreciation.

later....