I'm 266 today, so I dropped by 266 blog

Maybe you wanna visit, too. :)

Just looking at her fabulous photo-pic journey (see her melt away to a trim 150 lbs) is a huge encouragement.

I'm not sure I'm doing the Blog Hop Thing Right, Hmmm...Lemme try to fix this....

I saw a blog hop sign-up on Fitcetera blog, and I added this blog and copied the code and put it in my sidebar (scroll down).

I think I did that wrong. Lucy of DIMINISHING LUCY left me a comment, and apparently, I "royally" screwed this up. I'm not all that bloggy-tech savvy, so I'll try to fix that now, but, really, I think I'm MORE confused after reading Lucy's directions. (So much for my 136 IQ).

Okay, here goes with the button:




The button's also on my sidebar now, replacing the actual blog hop list, which is what I'd put there before. The list:



I'll even backdate it to Thursday to keep things in order here.

Man, if this is still wrong, slap me hard. I will link to a FITNESS/DIET post next Thursday, not one explaining what a dumbass I am re blogging linky/html stuff. :) Normally, I'm so good about following rules. Sorry if I made a mess this time for ya, Lucy. I didn't even know you were involved. Ahem.

Now, for those wanting a challenge, please see previous post on the challenge that begins SUNDAY, yes SUNDAY, June 6 and runs through 8/6. Just two months of focusing on health and slimming: SUMMER SLIMMIN' CHALLENGE.

For those wanting to know a totally orgasmic reason to exercise: HERE Ya go.

Forgive my spazziness and I'll try to do you right NEXT THURSDAY. :)

Nitey all....

Dieter Tolerance: Letting People Do It Their Way Without Neener-Boos

Let me say up front that, like most human creatures, I have a critical streak and a judgmental birthmark. We all have it--fess up, you know it!

But one thing I wish we could have more of in this fatfighting microcosm online is tolerance for the way each person feels they need to journey toward a better weight and better health.

Not every body, every mind, every emotional situation is the same. Some people will never understand those of us who do emotional binge eating. I will never understand people who can tolerate liquid protein fasts or, egads, puke up meals. (I have a serious pukephobia. I'd lay in bed trying hard to not puke even as a kid with stomach flu. I hate the sensation of food and bile coming right back up my throat. How do bulimics do that???)

But I can UNDERSTAND that we got fat--and STAY fat-- for more reasons than just "ate too much". Ate too much is fundamental--more calories than our bodies can handle and we gain weight. That's the basic layer, the thick heavy poured-out root of the structure.

But physiologically, some people handle sweets and carbs better and others are absolutely sent off on highs and lows and binges by them. Some livers handle things better than other livers. Some of us have non-functional (or minimally-functional) thyroid glands, and others have normal or hyper ones. Some of us got put on appetite-increasing (but essential) medications, and maybe others got on needed (or elective) medications that revved up metabolism or reduced appetite. Some folks are tall and some short, some male, some female, some mushy and some muscular, so some can eat more than others even with activity rates factored in. Some of us have moral issues for or against eating meat --or how animal products are raised and  butchered--and some of us have environmental concerns about pesticides or responsible farming and others don't. Some have tight budgets and some lavish ones. Some of us suffer from depressions that, rather than curtailing appetites (gee, why couldn't I have THAT version), have depressions that send us self-medicating with food to raise mood. Some of us had parents who took effort to make healthful, low-caloric meals. Some of us had moms and grandmoms who were food pushers. Some of us were abused and castoff, some of us were nurtured and valued. Some of us thrive on exercise, love it like some love a glazed donut; others hate to sweat and would rather have dental surgery than go to the gym. Some of us have terrible joint pain upon movement, so moderate to vigorous exercise can prove excruciating. Some of us have high-stress cranking out the cortisol, others have more leisurely lives. Some of us have to cook for various people in a household with various tastes, some only need to cater to a couple, or just to ourselves.

I was reading Lyn's excellent blog, and she's apparently getting grief about Medifast as a diet choice and its sustainability lifelong.

Well, I'll say this: I am leery of packaged foods diets a la Nutrisystem, MediFast, Jenny Craig, ONLY cause I really do think that natural food is generally better for us and fresh organic even moreso, and because I am concerned about hefty caloric restriction causing metabolic issues (which I suspect is at the heart of some gastric bypass folks regaining weight on much lower caloric levels than normal).

But ya know, we're different and we gotta try different things to learn how we handle stuff. And we gotta realize none of us is the expert about another person's life and body.

I would even try something like Medifast or Jenny Craig in order to LEARN about my body and self and nutrition, etc. I might not keep doing it or like it, but I think every diet can teach us something. Lyn has learned a lot on MediFast, and while the pics of MediFast food grosses me out, she's losing weight and feeling great and she realizes she does better on low carb. Period.

For people to start harping about sustainability isn't going to help. And what we fatfighters want is HELP, not the critical gallery. If Lyn had been doing, say, old Kimkins, with 500 to 800 calories and minimal fat and not enough nutrients, I'd say, "Hey, girl, you're damaging your body with starvation levels of calories and not enough nutrition. You're gonna go bald and have metabolic slowdown!"

But as long as she is well-nourished (and she is) and she's feeling health and emotional improvements, who the hell am I to neener-bo her?

No, I am too busy neener-booing myself. :)

What I need from you , what I really want, if you're willing, is the good word that's gonna be the wind at my back to move me along, even if just a little, towards my goals.

If you don't have that good word: move along. I don't need a downer.

Please, when you visit assorted blogs, even if you have misgivings about the ultimate success of A, B, or C diet or weight loss technique (and let's all laugh through our tears together at how ineffective just about all of them have been for most Americans so far in terms of sustainable losses), as long as the person is not anorexic, bulimic, or doing something patently nuts, let's give them a cheery "I wish you well; I'm rooting for you." And if you have a good, solid, positive tip in your own successful journey, go for it.

If a plan or technique fails for someone, it will be evident soon enough. That's life. But it's really kinda a bummer, not to mention not at all helpful, to be told "Oh, you can't keep that up. You're gonna fail."

How does that help? Hmm?

Let people try stuff. Let people ride their wind. And if they fail, then help them get back up.

The world has enough neener-booboos.

Now, that's not to say we shouldn't HAVE DISCUSSIONS in general about this stuff--what we see might be dangerous, fallacious, ill-advised. I do believe in informed consent re lap bands and gastric bypass. But as long as people know the pros and cons (of diets, of training equipment, of particular supplements or foods, etc), if they wanna go ahead, then let's give them the cheerleader's rah-rah. We should want EACH OF US TO SUCCEED. We should wish for it. Pray for it.

And we should want the dieting odds to be beaten to a bloody pulp in every case.

So, like so many others are doing for the summer, I'm taking on a summer slimming challenge. Do challenges help ultimately? I dunno. Maybe to refocus us on good habits for weight loss and to get support. But I know it's better to keep fighting and trying than to just look at the bad odds (98% of dieters fail) and say, "Oh, well, might as well order a double-meat pizza."

Here's to everyone trying to get healthier and slimmer. I want you to win, and I want to win, too.

Need a bit of inspiration today? Read some successful weight loss stories...and gasp at the huge breakfast I ate (confession time)

Here are some big loser-winners over at Good Housekeeping.  To see some success stories of ladies who lost 100 pounds or MORE, go here.  Here's a snapshot of the eating plan of someone who lost 122 lbs (no big surprises here on what she ate, right?).

This lady lost 227 lbs. Here's a quick summary of her eating and exercise plan. Her after picture is amazing. Whoa.

No big revelations. It takes work (ie exercise) and planning (ie lighter meals) and consistency.

Okay, so I'm a bit jealous. :)

I had a HUGE, HUGE breakfast. (Woke up ravenous after missing dinner due to sheer pooped-out-edness.) It consisted of healthful stuff, just TOO much of it:

1. Greek scramble made with fresh chopped onions, green peppers, tomatoes (about a cup and a half of veggies) with 2 large eggs and 2 egg whites scrambled in EVOO and then sprinkled with some feta cheese (a bit over a quarter cup). Oregano liberally sprinkled on top.

2. Mushrooms, 1.5 cups, sauteed in a bit of Smart Balance.

3. 1.25 cups fresh squeezed orange juice (man, the oranges were great this week).

4. 2 slices of Ezekiel Bread (the one with sesame seeds which I adore), toasted, with Smart Balance spread and some Nature's Hollow sugar-free apricot jam (amazingly fresh-tasting stuff, love it, and 20 calories per tablespoon, made with xylitol).

5. 2 cups of coffee made fresh from Rwandan Buf Mills beans (soooo good).

6. 10 ounces of organic coconut water (to counteract the salt in the feta) and hydrate me. (I'm getting over a mildish case of food poisoning I got from a take-out moussaka a couple days ago).

Lotta food, huh? It totals 1128 calories (so says SparkPeople's nutrition tracker). That's two-thirds of my daily intake if I wanna lose weight.

Doesn't leave me much to work with for the rest of the day, even if I aim for 2000 instead of 1800. But it's certainly not impossible, and I got tons of nutrition from what totals five servings of fruits and veggies in one meal. I ate what for some dieters is their day's calorie count.

I guarantee those success stories gals don't have 1200 calorie meals anymore. But there it is. I went breakfast hog wild.

But it sure was pretty--all colorful and flavorful. And I love, love the taste of EVOO on my tomato. Mmmm. One of the best things on earth: a tomato with EVOO and a pinch of coarse sea salt. AHHHHHH.

Lunch will be soup (preferably some legume) and something on the side, not sure what yet other than cherries and watermelon (which are both lovely now, too). Maybe some greens?

I was gonna make a super-high-fiber/lower-carb veggie lasagna for dinner.  I might still. Not sure. Will recheck fridge for options that hubby will accept.

Please have your fresh produce and lean proteins and whole grains today. And please don't have a 1200 calorie meal like me. Okay? :)

Happy Thursday, folks...

Forever To Go: Jack Sh*T Exposed

This was funny, but also encouraging. Jack's got a great sense of humor. Check out THIS POST to see him bare his manly form to the webby world. I hope he doesn't mind I snitched one of his images for this. :D

Three and a half months later....

and I even managed to lose 7.6 pounds.

I gotta tell you, I super burned-out on blogging. Both my blogs. Just up and got pooped. Got pooped of emails, too, and Facebook and MySpace and sorta just wanted to do "in the real world" stuff. :)

But this past week, I started dropping in to see what fellow bloggers were doing and, yeah, decided to check in. How motivated I am to blog is up for grabs. I don't feel as if I've got the blogging mojo back. But I do apologize for dropping off the internet cliff.

So, on the happy side, I'm still doing my Pilates, only 2x a week instead of 3x (to save some moolah). I continue to progress nicely and feel very strong under all the flab--nice and firm legs, easier to do things during my day. Even hubby mentioned I didn't tire out as fast when we went out on "dates." I even managed to make it through a day at an anime convention on 30 minutes sleep. And was able to enjoy a rock concert last week and fit in the seat and dance around and still feel vim and pizzazzy at midnight. :) So, exercising and eating better (not perfectly) has had some life-enhancing effects. Sex life is rocket-hot, too. Stamina is way up and flexibility is so much better. :D

We celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary this month, and I still feel like a newlywed. So, life is pretty good in various areas.

Eating, well...I joined an organic food-buying coop a few months back, so my produce intake is good. But my caloric intake continues to be my big burly beast. Though I've lost just over 7 pounds since my February, not a lot, mind you, but encouraging since it's progress, I continue to be stuck in the seventies. I think if I lost enough to get to the low sixties this year, I'd consider it a major win. Honestly. I don't know why it's so hard to get out of here, but it is, which is maybe why blogging lost its allure. I seemed to be treading water.

Still, the quality of life is so much better eating more produce and exercising regularly, that I fear losing the ground I have gained. And, as I've posted in the past, like Lyn's recent post on Escape From Obesity blog, I really have a terror of worse sagging skin. I have some from the nearly 30 lb loss, and I don't like it.

Ah, well. Humans are complicated, and fat humans trying to stop being fat humans even more so.

I will say that on June 30 will be my one year anniversary of training one-on-one in Pilates, and I continue to happily recommend this form of exercise for the morbidly obese and those with joint issues. I've had no injuries (though lots of post-workout soreness), and I can feel the change in how I move and my strength and my sense of body control. It's really nice.

I never was able to keep exercising regularly for more than a few months, and that was maybe 3 spurts in my nearly 50 years of life (mostly when I was younger). Now, I'll have been doing this for a whole year, with only one short break in winter when my asthma acted up fiercely. I'm really pleased with that accomplishment. I want to be able to say next June that I was doing it faithfully for two years....and so on.

And that's my update. I'll hope to get back to posting with more regularity, and maybe announce finally leaving the 270's behind....please, please, please God.

Hope you are all progressing. :)

Pondering a Derailment, Praying for Progress

I have not been on plan. I have no diet mojo. I have head mojo--as in "I know"--and I have desire mojo--as in "I want"--but the will is not cooperating. The will is rebellious. And I'm a spoiled brat.

I say this because I'm just not putting effort into this weight loss thing, and I have not been consistent or focused or goal-oriented. I've been floating and feeling defeated.

So, it's time to ponder this derailment of my goals/objectives, eating plan. Only my exercise has been consistent and that's suffering from my lethargy of will and body. This week, due to the holiday and my birthday on Friday, I only have one scheduled session instead of two. But I'm back to three next week, so that's a temporary blip.

I remain on the verge of depression. I can feel that weird apathy crawling upon me that makes me want to sleep a lot, eat a lot, and not do much else--not errands, not chores, not even happy stuff. Hubby was off this weekend, and he offered to take me here, there, everywhere, and I never even got dressed once until Monday. I even said no to a Valentine's Day outing--though he was willing to do or go wherever I wanted, no matter the cost. And my sister is still waiting to hear what I want to do for my birthday, and I keep saying, "I don't know," cause nothing sounds inviting--not a picnic, not a barbecue, not a party, not a beachfest, nothing. I feel like a pile of gray putty, like the immoveable object.

This is not an "I give up" post, btw. This is an "I know I'm in doodoo, in the pit, and I'm talking this out publicly and trying to figure out why I am my own saboteur, why this stupid cloud of the blues wants to rain on my parade, why I can't pick myself up and move forward."

But of course, I could. That's the thing. I feel defeated, but I'm only defeated if I remain where I am, just coasting and letting illness, lethargy, and depression BE MY LIFE.

It can't be my life. Why am I not fighting? I want to be a warrior against all these odds!

Anyway, hubby is going out of town tomorrow. I get to have the whole day to assemble what forces I have remaining and take a stand against all internal and external foes.

I want to be like those women in Ladies Home Journal and other magazines that you see as the AFTER story, who went after their dreams with focus (whether it was a career goal, a weight goal, a family goal, etc) and are photographed smiling and triumphant. I'd like to get to THIS GOAL, among others, but yes, THIS GOAL. The reason I started this blog.

I know I'm not alone in this sort of rut, frustration, backsliding, failure, call it what you will. But it's a painful thing to feel as if I'm the one sliding away from myself. I'm the one who is my own enemy, and I'm allowing it.

I'm allowing it.

All the reasons/excuses I can mount up don't measure up. I'm allowing it.

People with bigger obstacles than mine have made progress. It's not impossible.

But I'm allowing the obstacles to get to me.

Okay, big whine over. I will go to bed. I will get up to say bye to my traveling sweetie. I will work to make Tuesday better than Monday, and I will look into that place where wants and will meet and talk to that stubborn, defeated, depression-plagued part of me is aching to make progress.

Tomorrow--er, today--is gonna be a prayer day.

I'll also keep in mind Kate, who is at this moment away from home to have her WLS. At this moment, feeling leaden and slow and out of fuel, even gastric bypass doesn't seem as offputting and drastic as it usually does to me; perhaps that's because of this weight of frustration, perhaps that's because it seems easier than the daily struggle with appetite. But I know when I'm rested and myself again, I'll fear that surgery again and nix it as an option, even though I've seen many good results, even though I understand why it's a necessary option, even though I keep it in the back of my own mind as an option. The last one. I hope Kate's results are great. She deserves it.

And I hope those of us doing it without WLS or other surgical interventions, those of us going it solo, so to speak, do a bit better today, just a bit better, week by week.

God help us all who travel on our various journeys.

Oh, and I welcome prayers. Yes, indeed, I do.

Cause I'm not giving up...

X-Weighted and Marichu

This is a repeat episode from 2007, but it does show what being a junk food/take-out junkie will do to your body. Both Anthony and Marichu (the Mrs.) were obese. They were also clearly feeling the damage to one's self-esteem that so often comes with being so large.

Marichu had to deal with clutter issues, and not just body clutter--house clutter. (I'm a hoarder, so I know of clutter .) And you could see that the pain of change was weighing on her as much as her fat. She was very weepy and her face was this harrowing mask of depression. Hard to watch.

She couldn't even celebrate her 32 pound loss at the mid-point weigh-in (at three months). Honey, 32 pounds in 3 months is a VERY good weight loss rate. Are you kidding me?

I wanted to slap her.

But I realize that she felt she was working so hard that she should have lost, I dunno, 50?

Not how it works. Fat comes on as easy as pie, goes off harder than heck.

It's such a shame she couldn't jump up and down with joy for that 32 lb loss. I got so tired of hearing, "Was it worth it?" Yeah. If you didn't gain, if you lost, it's worth it, cause not doing anything, girl, just makes you FATTER.

I should add her hubby was also not celebratory over losing 36 lbs in 3 months. What is with these people? Do they have SAD or something?

At the end, they both lost big, looked better, made inroads into making their lives more vital and enjoyable. Marichu in part did this by passing her second attempt at her lifeguard test (she failed 3 of 4 tests the first time). And Anthony did it by engaging in kickboxing and realizing he'd been so miserable for years, but that he could be happy again. (Marital issues came to the fore, as it's bound to when people start to assess and make changes to their lives.)

It was really great to see Marichu and Anthony both look so much more alive--their faces no longer tragic masks. And the kids now have so much of a better shot at NOT becoming as obese as their parents, as they learn to cook healthful meals and learn to enjoy fruits and veggies, instead of just consuming fast food fare.

Final tally: Marichu lost 66 lbs (originally weighed 245, ended up at 179) and a total of 26 inches. Anthony lost 63 pounds (original weighed 347) and a total of 22 inches. Man, she beat him. How 'bout that?

At the finale, Marichu was able to glow and smile and show elation. She looked great after the makeover (hair and clothes). The frumpy, uberwhiny, hangdog-faced depressed housewife was gone. The Girl was back!

Nice.

Now, that was 2007 the show first aired (and I don't know if that means the weight loss occurred in 2006 or 2007). But I would like to know how they're doing now. Have they lost more? Have they maintained? Have they regained?

One thing I hate about these weight loss programs--X-Weighted, You Are What You Eat, to a lesser extent The Biggest Loser--is that they don't do adequate follow-up. As a viewer, I'm interested in what happens when real life strikes.

After all, the ranch is not real life. It's...intervention. It's...treatment.

I'd like regular follow-ups of ALL the contestants to see the ones who succeeded AFTER the show ends. The ones who keep it off, they're the ones to learn from, frankly. But I think it's important to see the ones who do not succeed in maintaining, because we learn from that, too. I know the first TBL follow-up was too upbeat and felt like a whitewash. Subsquent ones reported online were less slanted.

While I don't know how this couple is continuing to do, if her facebook photo is anything to go by, Marichu is doing great and looking faboo. Gives a gal hope. :)

I think one of the good things of shows like this one is the clear depiction of how losing weight can impact so much of a person's life. Fat gets in the way. I know that fat-acceptance folks mean really well. But fat gets in the way of doing so much, of going places, of feeling able to stretch into new avenues. I know fat encapsulates me in more ways than the physical.

Marichu's story--and Anthony's--show how getting leaner and stronger opens doors to living.

~

UPDATE: The original Anthony/Marichu show re-aired today (I watched part while having a snack), and I thank Beth for giving the heads-up in the comments section about an update. If you are curious about what happened to this couple AFTER the show, go here and scroll down for the follow-up info.

THE BIGGEST LOSER'S Aubrey Made Me Mad and Carla Made Me Sad

I toggled between THE BIGGEST LOSER last night and AMERICAN IDOL. (Hubby is an AI fan, I didn't want to miss all of TBL, and I refuse to record shows. It's like robbing the future to me in an odd way. It has to be some real treasure for me to bring out the record function. And I haven't recorded anything in, oh, a couple years or more.)

I'd like to say that Aubrey has some fricken nerve. There, said it.

Joelle has been annoying for a while, so it's not surprising she was in some sort of vacant-stare denial, yet again. I really think she has some sort of weird issue--don't know if it's depression or what, but there is somethign really off about Joelle and her reaction and her masklike face. If I were her, I'd head to a doc and get checked out. I mean that seriously, too. Apathy and that sort of frozen look can be symptoms. I get that way when my thyroid is out of range and when I'm really depressed.

So, Joelle's leaving is not unjust. And Carla had a right to be ticked off. You could see how very much Carla wanted to get healthy at the ranch (and on her own). You could taste her desire to stay. Sad. So sad she had to go.

However, I do think that she had the wrong attitude at follow-up reunion. Deciding you have the right to start tongue-lashing someone yet again--no matter how much they hurt you--is no way to make progress. Venting may have felt good, but it wasn't going to get any epiphanies out of Joelle or anyone. Sorry, I wouldn't sit there and let you rip on me, either, not in public. Take it private, sort it out, or agree to go your separate ways. Hash it out in private, then go on camera if you want to explain what happened. But the camera makes a public event of what I consider totally a private one, and that felt a bit too weirdly voyeuristic a moment for me.

Now, Aubrey: Who the hell is she, Miss I lost Two Pounds In A month When I Was Supposedly Working Out Four Hours A Day, to rip on Joelle the way she did about slacking off? Is this hypocritical or what?

I agree that she, like the other contestants, had the right to ASK questions about commitment and rationales in order to make the BEST choice of who to boot, but she had no moral right to act like she's the queen of 100% effort. She totally turned into a very unappealing person in that moment, and part of me hope she ends up on the chopping block next time for that little ugly bit of her real self showing. Although, part of me wonders if her going off on Joelle was really a strange psych thing of her berating her own self for her poor efforts at home.

Could be, ya know?

I hope Carla reaches her goal of being the woman to lose the most weight on the show. She's got gumption. I'd like to see her succeed. And even if she and Joelle never patch things up, I hope they can forgive each other in their own hearts and move one healthfullly.

~

Changes that Become Habits that Add Up

I very much like Lyn's post today. She clearly shows by her own life's examples how she made changes that added up to weight loss. It's a post I needed to read because I have been so down on myself for losing focus and will.

I stopped to consider that I HAVE made changes and I DO feel better and I am wearing a smaller size and my sugar is in control and I'm exercising regularly and vigorously 3x a week for months and months (after years of total inactivity).

I have made some changes and those have kept me from regaining all the poundage I lost. I need to make more changes to lose MORE, yes. But if I made some changes, I can make others. I can gain groud.

Anyway, I recommend Lyn's practical and inspiring post, which includes this short list of tips:

Instead of seconds at dinner, you just take seconds of vegetables.
Instead of wasting ten minutes circling the parking lot for the closest space, you park far from the store and just WALK there.
Instead of asking your kids/husband/friend to bring the laundry upstairs for you, YOU do it.
Instead of putting whole milk on your cereal, you use skim.
Instead of watching TV all evening, you do some exercise and go to bed early.

~

5 Diets, 5 Dieters: Diet Face Off

If you're curious about some of the most popular diets around, five dieters are trying them out at LiveStron.com's DIET FACE OFF. Here are the diets/eating plans being used:

Weight Waters
South Beach Supercharged
Flat Belly diet
Mediterranean Diet
Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut

The dieters have posted their starting stats and have been blogging about their experience using these plans. If your eating plan is not working for you, here's your chance to see what results other plans provide for fellow fatfighters.
~

My Quickie Notes on Oprah's Show 1/5/09

Some quotes and notes I scribbled down (probably imperfectly) while watching Oprah's show yesterday about her regain and her plan to get fit again:

"This is a problem in your life that will remain a problem in your life for the duration of your life."
-- Bob Greene

"Bottom line: you have to plan your meals."
--Oprah

"There's absolutely no way that I'm ever,ever going to maintain my weight without some regular cardio exercise...at least 30 minutes a day"
--Oprah

Oprah's exercise plan:
cardio for 30 mins a day
resistance training 5 days a week

Oprah's tools:
Best Life Diet Book
Posted meal plan in her kitchen
~~sample meals
~~~~Bkfst: egg whites, steel-cut oatmeal, green tea
~~~~Dinner: salmon, sweet potato, green vegetable(s)

She also has set aside time for her health and personal needs in her daily schedule.

Segment with Carnie Wilson: she now weighs 168, down 50 pounds in the last 6 months, and is expecting her second baby. And I must say, she looks absolutely, glowingly beautiful. Carnie said she had to get at the bottom of her own soul, asking "What do I really want?"

Bob also emphasized taking time and effort to get to the true answer to some some questions.

Fundamental Questions asked by Bob Greene in his Best Life Diet:

* Why are you overweight?
* Why do you want to lose weight?
* Why have you been unable to lose weight in the past?

~~

UPDATE: I love these questions--as a response to Bob's questions-- asked by Janice of Our Lady of Weight Loss!

Amazing BuffedStuff!

I am stunned by BuffedStuff's remarkable transformation from fat to uberbuff (see her sidebar pics). She looks fabulous.

Visit her blog.

hat tip to Katschi for the link

Reality Check for Fatfighters: It Never Will Be Easy; The THINKING has to change the BEING to allow a NEW BECOMING.

You probably already know how marvelous a blogger Lyn of Escape from Obesity is. She lost 60 lbs with sensible diet and exercise methods: the healthy way. And she's one I tend to check in with frequently--and always when I'm especially struggling or need motivation or a recipe or hope. Even when some of her weight crept back and old habits popped up to bedevil her, she's refusing to give up. I like this.

Today, she gave us a reality check we all need. It doesn't get easy. It stays hard--whether losing or maintaining. This from today's post from Lyn about how we must learn to adapt, change, and THINK about exercise and food:

It is essential that I not only lift weights, but that I *become* a Person Who Lifts Weights. It has to be who I am. Not that I am going into professional body-building, but that it has to be part of who I am, just as much as I am a Mom Who Loves Her Kids and a Lady Who Cooks. We all have many facets, but there is a huge difference between having a task you do for a time, and hate it... and being a person who does something because it is part of who you are. If I hate my bike and always think, "ugh, I have to exercise, this SUCKS but I have to get the weight off," I am going to QUIT biking when I get the weight off, and I am going to gain it back. Period. So I have to either a) embrace the biking and be a Woman Who Bikes, or b) give it up and find a difference form of exercise that I can truly embrace.

Similarly, I have to be a Woman Who Eats Vegetables, and not just a fat woman who is eating a salad to lose weight but really wants to binge on candy bars. Some people say it's "thinking like a thin person" which may be true. If I *am* a thin person someday, I cannot keep thinking like a fat person or I will gain back the weight.

Yeah. It's true. Vigilance can't be slackened, and that's especially true with thought patterns and ways of perceiving oneself and one's life and one's mission. I know it.

I was .2 lbs from losing all that I had regained after the August challenge. I was at 270.4 a few days back, and my challenge weigh-in on September 1st was 270.2. So close to cracking into the 260's.

Well, the last four days have had me binge twice at night (and I have a lot of zits the last week, so I'm thinking this is a hormonal bit of craziness). Today, I was awakened by a BOOM! 2 hours after going to bed. Turns out it was a police team blowing up the door of a neighbor behind us (across the alley on a street that's one block away from City Hall and the police station, for pete's sake). C4 on the door. He was dealing drugs.

The BOOM! woke up hubby and me and our neighbors. I peeked out and saw a flak-dressed cop with helmet and I went right back inside and took cover. Later on, I asked the policemen watching the alley if hubby could get the car out and go to work. They said sure, all's safe.

Dang.

The neighborhood used to be so peaceful, safe, and full of really nice people. You could walk at night.

No more.

So, I ended up not getting rest (who could sleep with all the adrenaline) and I didn't eat (tried to nap before Pilates). As a result, my workout suffered. No food and no rest= rather sucky muscular effort.

I was tempted to stress binge, but I went and bought a skim milk latte and a chicken and brown rice with salsa bowl for ..er..brunch? I visited the market for fruits and veggies. I just need to get my mental mojo going for dinner.

Point being, I'm trying to think like Lyn suggests---I'm a woman who doesn't emotionally binge. I'm a woman who eats lots of fruits and veggies. I'm a woman who chooses better take-out meals. I'm a woman who loves to exercise. I'm a woman who learns to cope with surprises and stressors.

It's thinking comes first, and that leads to action.

We all have to become something new if we want to change and keep changing and hold on to the changes.

It's never gonna be simple. It's never gonna be easy.

And if you doubt that, go see how easy it is for champion fatfighters to regain. Visit some recent posts by Lyn and this week's posts by Jennette, who lost half her weight. We've seen the lovely and sweet Chubby Chick lose a chunk of adiposity and regain. It's hard. Hard. Hard.

But I also take heart when fatfighters don't give up, when they get back on the program and work harder to recapture lost ground.

Hooray! It's nice to have role models who are open, honest, and show that no one has to stay down. Or would that be stay UP, numbers-wise?

Happy Wednesday. Onward and DOWNWARD!

What We Can Accomplish in a Year...

...if we do the work. If we stick to eating plans. If we move. If we don't lose heart or faith or let our attention flag.

Take a look at what we can do in a year by checking out the blogs (and archives) of these successful fatfighters:

Heather--at goal

Lyn--getting there, eloquently

Jennette--who got a book deal out of it and has been on TV

Roni--who's posted great "one year later" shots

Let's do some visualization--what CAN we look and feel like in one year?

Nice, huh?

And even though I didn't have a perfect day yesterday, I still was able to weigh-in 1.2 lbs less. Hurrah.

Let's take a healthy step toward next July 31. Let's become that visualized "me."

~

Something's Gotta Give--and It'll be Us Giving it Up

It was great to have Lyn back from vacation, posting with her usual gusto and insight. Her post yesterday is worth reading for a solid reality check that many of us need.

For those of us dealing with a lot of excess weight, something's gotta give if we're gonna lose it and keep it off. And it's us. We gotta give: Give up. Give up things that are delicious, delightful, mouth-watering, full of nostalgia. Give up immediate comfort, self-indulgence, instant happiness, and ease.

I don't believe a once-obese, especially a once-morbidly-obese person ever gets cut slack again in the diet game. If the weight is to come off and stay off, we will suffer. Period. End of story.

As Lyn says in her post, we've already had the cookies and pizzas and other indulgences. Too many. It shows in our bodies. We need to stop whining that we can't have them anymore in the quantities and frequency we wish.

We'll have to accept the fact that we just can't have our cake and eat it, at least, not very often at all. Maybe special occasions only. And when we do have it, we have to accept it will be a small, controllable serving, or we will flow back into a binge cycle.

At least, after a year plus of reading fatfighting blogs (and writing one), I've seen this in myself and many others (though not ALL). Slip-ups weaken resolve and strengthen the power of food over us. Give in and it's like starting from zero.

Sucks.

But something's gotta give.

We have to accept that lying around watching tv or reading engrossing novels all weekend is not gonna cut it. We have to move and move a lot, or we might lose weight, but odds are it'll come back, or if it' doesn't come back, we'll have lousy body tone and a lot of hanging flesh that isn't getting filled out a bit with muscle.

The days of sweet dessert wine and chocolate roses are pretty much over--if we mean it.

Sucks a dozen eggs.

But something's gotta give...

I'm still striving to get into the "I mean it" groove. Lots of days, I simply indulge in that extra helping of X or Y, or have more than one low-calorie sweet treat, or just order that pizza.

That's why I'm not making much progress. Some, but very slowly and quite bumpily. I don't really MEAN it yet. mean it the way I meant it when I said, "I do" to my beloved. Mean it for a lifetime and intensely and madly and irrevocably.

I partially mean it. Like a burning infatuation of mind and body that lacks the solid roots of commmitted love in the spirit and soul. It doesn't persist day in and day out, and it doesn't stand in the face of the greatest temptations.

And as we all know, when it comes to weight loss and health--and relationships of the heart--partially meaning doesn't cut it.

To succeed for a lifetime at weight loss, we have to marry the commitment the way one used to marry in the Church: dynamically, fervently, self-sacrificingly, consciously, indissolubly...and willing to put up with hardship and transient (or permanent) miseries for greater pay-off in the long-run. :)

I hear a particular term a lot--and use it, too--MODERATION.

Moderation is just another, pleasanter way of saying this: sacrifice; self-control.

Moderation is another way of saying this: I can't have that second cookie, and I can only have half of that restaurant square of lasagna

Moderation is another way of saying: Gee, I'd love to have a whole bowlful of pasta, but I can only have one and a half cups with a restrained sprinkling (not a half cup) of cheese. And forget the tiramisu, except for one lingering bite.

Moderation is another way of saying this: I have to do things in a different manner from how I've been doing it.

Moderation is another way of saying this: I have to change. I have to give up the whole of my desire and satisfy only part of my craving.

I don't believe in extremism. I think VLCDs are harmful to the metabolism--and to the psyche in some cases. It can lead to eating disorders. It can lead to thryoid issues. It can lead to binging.

I also think that the sort of free-for-all eating that has put us in the 50 to 100 to 200 to 300 excess pounds category is harmful. To the heart and pancreas. To the joints. To the psyche. To one's career. To one's love life. (I don't know about y'all, but I have known heavy women who "settle" for creeps because they fear that no one will love a Fat Gal. Or a woman who'll put up with emotional and physical abuse because she thinks if she doesn't put up with it, no one else will want her as a Fat Gal.)

I hate the fact that I can't just eat what I want, then lay around reading history and art books, studying theology texts, enjoying fantasy novels, and watching movies, and yet get fit in that manner.

What I have been doing for years doesn't work: ie, eating what I want and being a couch potato. Letting illness control me.

What many of you have been doing for years, maybe decades, hasn't worked. Giving in to Krispy Kreme donuts or Grand Slam breakfasts or Pizza Hut specials or the Colonel's fried offerings...doesn't help.

Reality Check: To win at losing, we can't and won't be perfect--yes, perfection IS a myth, not just because we won't be perfect, but because we don't NEED to be perfect, we just need to be pretty darn good.

We do need to accept deprivation of some things, ongoing deprivation of our triggers and things that we may be used to eating regularly. On the other hand, we need to get used to an abundance of other foods (notably vegetables, fresh fruit, lean protein, and water).

We have to learn how to order things in restaurants that might be our fifth or tenth choices, rather than our first or second. We have to accept that our PMS is screaming at us to eat those chips and chew that Milky Way, but we have to scream back: "It's not an option. How about a bite of sugar-free dark chocolate and an apple?"

There's a diet memoir where the writer admits that what clicked in her brain and allowed her to become a slender, fit woman was the phrase: "It's not an option." When she wanted NOT to exercise: "It's not an option." When she wanted junk food: "It's not an option."

Self-deprivation always sucks. It hurts. It makes us cranky. But one way or another, you and I will have to alter habits for a lifetime. A WHOLE LIFETIME.

Or it's curtains. The fat will stay. We'll never reach our goal. We'll regret it.

If you and I don't get a reality check, and hold up that mirror to reality daily, you and I can have gastric bypass and still regain. (See Carnie Wilson. see Randy Jackson.)

If you and I don't accept that we will have to give up to get, we can join Jenny Craig, we can join Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem, we can get a chef like Oprah--and it won't mean anything. We'll be part of the 98% gaining it all back...plus more.

Dieting isn't for wimps. Lifestyle change isn't for weaklings.

Looking at stark truths is not for wussies.

We have to let go of our past and of our devastating food habits and couch potato ways.

I hate it. I need it. I hate it. I want it. I hate it.

I have to face it.

Something's gotta give, and it's any expectation of this being doable without the utmost effort and sacrifice.

Are we up to it?

Do the reality check today.

Are you willing to give up all those fave junk items for 355 days of the year? (Lyn suggests a few special days in the year to indulge, but no more.)

Scary, ain't it?

I think so.

Reality bites.

Powerful Post from Medusa

It's not just about NOT doing Kimkins. It's about NOT doing harmful diets or deadly diet behaviors of any kind. It's about obsession. It's about consequences. It's about denial. It's about crazy expectations. It's about self-destruction. It's about truth.

Read it.

Motivation From The Pages

My eyes have been healing beautifully. I do need reading glasses now, so I've been experimenting with strengths (one of the lenses poked out of each pair). I have upped the font on the computer screen to 20, too. It's one of the compensations one makes for having presbyopia, even after LASIK.

I'm reading to motivate myself not to stray from the healthy eating plan. (I do need to go shopping for produce, as not having enough tempting veggies and fruits means I end up having too much processed stuff like canned foods and breads and cheese.)

Last month, I took advantage of some specials amazon.com had on magazines to subscribe to Women's Health & Fitness. I also have a sub to Fitness. My WW magazine sub expired, and I may or may not renew. The resources online are pretty nice, and I belong to WW online already, so I may skip the mag altogether. Really, in an age trying to go green, most mags need to offer an online version so we can skip the paper waste.

Two books I'm ordering sometime in the next few days from amazon.com are these:



Diet Blog recommended the first and Pasta Queen the second.

The following is greatly reduced, and I recommend it:



Yes, that's bargain price right now at amazon (6.99) and is a limited time sale. So, that's a great book at a really cheap price. Get it!

I figure I might invest in one book a month for motivational purposes. Between blogs, online mag sites (like Fitness and Self's and Shape's, etc), my online WW site, the free forums, and the books and mags I already get, I think I have more than enough to read if motivation lags.

And, inspired by Chubby Chick's determination to love herself more (and we already know what a nice gal she is), here's a little book--also an amazon bargain book now--with very short, even repetitive meditations to keep us motivated in the direction of kindness (to self and others):


Here's one of meditations:

Celebrate early
Celebrate often
There is plenty of sadness
There is plenty of disappointment
Celebrate
Celebrate
Celebrate

And let's celebrate with healthful foods, while we're at it, right?

Happy weekend, my fatfighting allies!

Are You Motivated Yet? If Not, Join a Challenge!

In case you're still dragging in these early days of 2008, but you know you need to get on the healthy eating and exercise bandwagon, you can still participate in a challenge. They're all over the place. Paid arenas, like eDiets, have them.

But free ones are out there. Here are just a couple. Go see. If you like the ambiance or the set-up, join in. Don't do it all alone. It's good to have support and cheerleaders:

Scale Junkie's HEALTHY YOU CHALLENGE

Shannon's EASTER CHALLENGE

If you're hosting a FREE challenge on your blog or website, feel free to leave a comment with a link.

ONWARD AND DOWNWARD IN 2008!

Using Dr. Beck's Tools To Cope With Cravings and Emotional Eating

I've just added a new member to my Diet Blog Royalty set of links: Beck Diet Girl. Since some of my blogging pals have struggled--as I have--with cravings, binges, emotional eating and other out of control food uses, I thought it would be good to focus on those psychological tools out there. In this case, Dr. Beck's tools.

Beck Diet Girl posted this back in August, and it will help when cravings hit (if implemented, of course):

Dr. Beck offers two kinds of anti-craving strategies: Mindset Techniques and Behavioral Techniques.

There are 5 Mindset Techniques:

Label It. Tell myself this is only a craving, not a true need.
No problem.


Stand Firm. Tell myself I am absolutely not going to eat the food I'm craving.
Easier said than done.


Don't Give Yourself a Choice. Tell myself NO CHOICE.
How is this different than standing firm? Apparently I'll find out on Day 16.


Imagine the Aftermath of Giving In. Think about giving in to the craving, but focus on what happens after I swallow: feeling weak and out of control and hopeless.
This is a great idea!


Remind Myself Why I Want to Learn to Withstand Cravings. Read my ARC.
Another great idea!

There are 4 Behavioral Techniques:

Distance Myself from the Food I Crave. Leave the room or throw away or give away the food.
This could be difficult since it calls on will power again.


Drink a No- or Low-Calorie Beverage. Satisfying thirst masked as hunger can erase cravings; have a glass of water or another low-calorie drink.
I already do this, drinking almost a gallon of water a day, and it does help.


Relax. Focus on my breathing, in through my nose for 4 counts and out for 4 counts.
This can be helpful in stressful situations of any kind.


Distract Myself. Perform another activity instead of giving in to the craving.
A definite winner!

The idea is to practice these techniques when a craving hits so I'll be able to ignore it until it goes away.

In this other post, she uses the same tools to address emotional eating.

The tools worked for her, cause until this past week, she had not had a weight gain/regain. She's pulling out her Beck set of tools to address it.

I know that weeks when I do better (when I look at my records) are when I instinctively did some of these techniques (remember, I haven't read the book.) The distraction. The water. The distance. The low-cal beverage or snack. The firm self-talk. Thing is, I really have slacked off. Like Beck Diet Girl, it's time to bring the tools back to the forefront. Which means putting the weight loss as priority one. Something's got to give. I let dieting go to the back burner, and as a result, I spent most of the last month not losing. (I wish I could multi-task with greater ease and balance, but I can't. I suck at juggling in my middle age. Did better at it when I was younger.)

If you want to use Dr. Beck's tools, I recommend her book. (I have it, but need to read and implement it!) Also, her blog, with links to bloggers using her method.


More books for those who need to get free from emotional eating: