You don't just hurriedly throw a couple rocks on top of each other and call it a castle. You don't just throw a wet paintbrush at a canvas and call it a masterpiece.At her blog today, Chubby Chick features a great Calvin cartoon (dontcha love Calvin and Hobbes!?) It's an ironic one, and it fits her post topic of persevering in this weight loss journey.
It's funny, cause this time around, I'm out to lose SLOWLY. And that's exactly how it's going. Every other time, I've psyched myself to lose 2-4 pounds a week--really aiming at 3 or more. Haven't you done that? Said, "Oh, one to two pounds a week is great" but inside you were thinking, "No, I must lose it FASTER. This isn't good enough!" Then, once the initial phase (a week, two weeks) of fast fat loss passed, and it settled to the drudgery of the daily discipline and the minimal losses, I'd get dissatisfied, frustrated, negative, and "bored."
I'd give up. Too few immediate rewards.
That's what children do. That's not what mature people do. That's not what artists out to make something that last do. That's not what castle-builders out to save their lives behind those fortress walls did.
If it's worth it and if it's durable, it will require patience, discipline, and persistence.
Well, this time, I've told myself that I must see it differently. My daily mantra: I must be vigilant and eat smaller portions for the rest of my life.
We hear that a lot about weight loss, but it's revolutionary all the same when it registers in one's own brain.
For life. No going off. No, "This is just to get the weight off."
No, it's for life.
I got fat for assorted reasons, but mostly cause I had bad habits in terms of portions and sedentary living.
I am working on the portions and calorie limits. I am still stuck in sedentary.
It's a work in progress. But, unlike Calvin, I can't afford to get bored.
I can't see this as a sprint. It's a marathon. A marathon that may last decades, depending on how long I live. And I've no doubt my bad habits and obesity robbed me of life. Things of value--like fitness, good health, weight loss--take time to do right, to do so it lasts. Anything that stands the test of time takes hard work and time: Castles, Cathedrals, raising kids, creating the Sistine Chapel...We're works of art.
While I was in the bathroom after waking up, reaching for the t.p., I was telling myself, "It's for life."
While I got on the scale, I told myself, "It's for life, not just this week or today."
So, it was cool to see Chubby Chick's post. And her small, shimmering motto: "It's not a diet. It's a life-changing commitment."
I can't go back to huge portions of Italian food. Of emptying bread baskets in restaurants. Or eating half a pizza. Of snarfing down a slice of chocolate cake that could easily feed two. Of eating a foot-long sub. Of eating several ounces of cheese at a pop. Of generously dousing salads with dressing. Of eating the whole chocolate bar. Of having three tacos instead of one or two. Of having humongous bowls of cereal instead of measuring out a sound, sane portion. Of drinking 16 ounces of OJ instead of 6 or, at most, 8. Of forgetting to count the calories in the sides, like cranberry sauce. Of double portions of fatty gravy. Of thinking that if I share that oversized, American restaurant portion, that it's suddenly a virtuous, low-calorie entree. Half of a triple portion is still half a portion too much.
I can't just follow my appetite, cause it leads to destruction.
No. I gotta keep working at that work of art that will be called "The Triumph of Perseverance" when the labor delivers its fruit. That will be renamed "The Continued Triumph of Perseverance" when the loss is maintained.
It's for life.
And we gotta keep telling ourselves that. We don't get to go off the diet. The diet is a lifestyle, must be a lifestyle, or we will fail, cause we won't persevere.
I'm only in the earliest phase of this artwork. It's gonna be a while here, with the dust and chiseling and sketching and all those fumblings of the brush and the hammer. Inspiration is variable. The muse is often out doing errands. Still, the work goes on: If it's a pound a week, or a half-pound, then I'll say goodbye to 26 or 52 pounds next Columbus day. The scale is my friend. The scale lets me know it's ups and downs, but there's progress in the big picture.Art takes time. Put on some music to help you keep going. We're all of us dancing and drawing and painting and sculpting our way to a better day, and we're not dancing alone. The smells of marble dust and colorful oils and metals shaped in the fire fill the air. Smell it? Nice to have company, yes?
For more on perseverance--though she might tag it "never, never, never give up-ing"--visit the terrific blog Escape from Obesity.
